thinking of leaving

LegacyUser

Long story, I got an amazing job straight out of university. I was so happy at the time and moved across the country to take it. I wasn't fully qualified for the position but had taken up an unpaid internship with the company, worked my socks off and when this position came up I was delighted to get it.

I love the job, it has been a difficult year in the sector but we have survived and I think I have grown and learned a lot that could allow me to preform better next year.

The office I'm currently based in is quite small with 8 staff members and reporting to a central office. There is a colleague, though we work in different sectors that is a similar age and has been making life a little difficult for me.

There is always remarks being made about me in the office and and behind my back to other staff members. One staff member has told me that she didn't like the "competition" of another young female in the office. I just don't understand this. We work in very different roles and so don't have that much to do with each other but still have to interact on a team basis and socially in the group.

I will be quite honest, I don't like the girl. When I first started she spoke very badly to me about another staff member that had been very nice to me, and I distanced myself not wanting to get involved. Last June, I told the Director that I was unhappy as I felt there was an element of bullying in the office and he told me to talk to the girl in question and sort it out ourselves. This came the day after the girl in question told a staff member that she "hated" me. So I called the girl away from the office and we sat down. She described as having a strong personality and being too "marketing" which is my role in a non marketing company. I said I was doing my job, but she started to make personal remarks about how I annoyed her by pacing the floor when I speak on my mobile. (We don't share office space by the way so this shouldn't effect her).

I told her that I would make an effort to not do this and to get on with her. But the comments have still continued. I recently got engaged and rather than congratulate me she told a staff member that my ring looked cheap. It's just these constant digs that are ruining my confidence. She told me that another staff member "couldn't stand me" and then a friend in the organization told me that having gone to lunch one day with this girl that all she did was bitch about me and other staff member. After many long hours working coming up to xmas, and many late nights I have been told by her that i looked awful and one occasion she accused me of coming straight from the pub. (untrue!)

I am seriously considering leaving my job, even though it would look awful to leave during a contract. I have taken today off to consider my position.

There has been complaints made about this girl by two other staff members and the Director has ignored both as he thinks that this girl is fantastic and can't see that she is creating a bad atmosphere and dynamic in the office.

Any suggestions of what to do or handle the situation would be greatly appreciated. If I do hand in my notice, do I tell the Director my real reason for leaving or can this effect a future reference?

gandalf

TBH no matter where you go you will meet people like her. She doesn't like you and probably never will. Ignore her and continue on with the job. Maybe mention to your manager that you do not appreciate someone spreading falsehoods around the office about you (you don't even have to mention her name) that way if something else happens he will have prior knowledge that there was a problem and it will not be a surprise to him.

The fact that others have complained about her suggests that she is one of those difficult personalities that you always encounter during working life. See it as another challenge to your working day and remember when you do finish work you don't have to interact with her any further.

peasant

I-Dont-Understand! wrote: »

I recently got engaged and rather than congratulate me she told a staff member that my ring looked cheap. It's just these constant digs that are ruining my confidence. She told me that another staff member "couldn't stand me" and then a friend in the organization told me that having gone to lunch one day with this girl that all she did was bitch about me and other staff member. After many long hours working coming up to xmas, and many late nights I have been told by her that i looked awful and one occasion she accused me of coming straight from the pub. (untrue!)

Let's call a spade a spade here ...she's a bitch.

Well ...you get them everywhere. Any other job you move to (if you can find one) might have just another one like her ...or you might and up with a male colleague who scrapes past just under the sexual harrasment borderline on a daily basis.


Old fashioned as it sounds ...don't let these kind of people get to you. Pull your socks up, do your job and do it well and don't let her get to you. Also ...do not bitch back. Be polite, professional, effective and calm.

That's the only way to win in the end.

encyclopedia

Ignore her, she is an idiot, and don't let it get you down, it is clear that other members of staff know what she is like because they are reporting back to you, so obviously her opinion doesn't matter to them. She has no more right to the job then you and as you said you worked hard and you deserve it. Leaving will not achieve anything and the only person that will be affected by it is you as she will just pick on another person when you are gone.

Write down with dates and times everything malicious that she says directly to you as if the situation gets any worse and you need to take things further you will have evidence against her that bullying was going on. Best of luck with it.

dillodaffs

I agree with the other posters, she is a bitch and she has nothing better to do than devote her time bitching about you constantly to others.

People you work with are telling you what she has said about you. I think you need to stop listening! If someone starts a conversation and starts telling you what she said, simply stop them, tell them you are not interested in hearing anything that she has said. Do this with anyone who tries to tell you bad stuff that she said about you. You do not need to hear it.

Listening to crap she says about you will have you thinking about her all the time, and you do not want to be doing that. Stop listening to these comments and life will be better for you. And remember this, you do not like here, therefore, you do not care what she thinks. Let her comment all she wants, you do not care.

I have had this happen to me before, but I just told my work colleagues that i didnt want to hear about the other person and it worked. She works in a different area to you so you should not have that much contact with her. Be polite to her when you see her, end of.

DaMagooster

I experience a similar situation to what you are going through with snide comments behind my back etc.. Like the other posters are sying, you have to ignore it. She is just jealous of either your skill, the way you slotted in to the company so well or could even be your looks.

As long as your boss is happy with your performance and your job is not in danger as a direct result of this unprofessional idiot keep your head high and forget about this person.

Whatever you do, do not quit because she has treated you this way. Without a doubt you will always regret it. If you have done so well just out of college, I have a feeling your strong enough for this

Keep the head up.