Sex Etiquette

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have a bit of an embarrassing question about the etiquette involved in the world of sex. Basically, I'm a virgin but I've been with this girl for 2 weeks and I'm hoping next weekend is going to be my lucky night.

So heres the question(sorry if it's a bit crude). What do I do when I'm going to ejaculate? Do I keep penetrating until I cum into the condom or what do I do? I'm a bit anxious that I'll do something stupid and ruin the moment

Thanks in advance for any advice

skooterblue

No problem. First get yourself sorted with protection. Dont expect it to be fantastically mind blowing first time it never is for anyone. Its a learning experience. Buy yourself a decent sexual health book. Best try Amazon. The more you know the better off you'll be.

Yes keep penetrating until you ejaculate. Read the condom instructions. The good old Withdrawal method isnt to be relied upon for loads of reasons. As soon as you ejaculate grab the condom at the base of the penis and take your penis out of the girl being careful not to spill any semen. Dispose of the condom in toilet tissue in the bin not down the toilet and wipe yourself clean. then go back to cuddling your girlfriend. She may also want to pee afterwards.

Read up and take your time. Have fun and play safe.

Wompa1

it should be ok to keep thrusting, don't worry about anything. You might be nervous but there's no need. It's pretty easy and it's just a case of doing it a bit.

Cheap Thrills!

Whoa!

Let nature take its course!

Foreplay before thrusting!!! Lots of kissing, let your hands wander, let HER hands wander!!! Make sure the girl is enjoying it before you take off!!!

Take your time (crack one or two off beforehand) if things go well go with it. Make sure she is enjoying it too, go from there.

Listen to her! If you make it good for you both you are much more likely to get to do it again!!

Is it your girlfriend's first time? If not, does she know you're a virgin? It's not important, but it might help your confidence during if she knows. Like other people have said, slow down. With your first time, you are likely not to last very long but if you don't go stomping like a rabbit, it might last a bit longer. Don't worry if it doesn't last very long, you will learn how to make it last the more times you do it. Invest a good bit in foreplay - this is usually the best part and can make everything last so much longer. As others have said, she may have to pee afterwards, but when she gets back you should cuddle up to her.

Something ya might consider doing is buying different types of condoms to see which one you like best.

LegacyUser

Cheers for all the advice folks, it's greatly appreciated

The girl is a virgin herself and knows I'm one too, so that sort of takes a bit of the pressure off. We've had a bit of foreplay before(just using hands, mind) so it's not going to be completely new for us in that department.

Another quick question here regarding oral, what do I do if I have to cum when receiving oral, as in, where do I aim? I know these are fairly basic questions but I'll be far more confident once I know what I'm doing

I'll obviously try my very best to pace myself and most importantly please her when it does come to penetrating etc. I'm hoping it won't be just a once off !

skooterblue

Ok when you are having oral sex put your hands behind you head. Natural instincts are to push her down. Dont do this!!! Girls hate it.
Now where to aim? Dont, just lie back and enjoy the ride, when you feel you are about to come , let her know and she will take appropriate action. Come in her mouth and you never get another date, let alone a blow job again.

So you have had a bit of a fore play session. Honestly it sounds like you are taking it nice and steady. Hope ye have a fun time.

Blisterman

I'd say when recieving oral and you're about to come, just say "I'm about to come." If she continues sucking then you can come in her mouth, if not finish yourself off by hand. Good to have a towel or something handy to come into.

Fittle

Hi Op, firstly fair play for even posting here for advice, can't have been easy.

Secondly, I second everything people have said here - particularly skooterblues first post, which I must thank, coz it's great.

Thirdly, on paper (or on the internet) it's easy for us to give practical advice, like you should say this or do that. But the reality can be slightly different - so just go with the flow so to speak. While condoms are perfect for protection against std's and pregnancy, they don't offer 100% protection against anything, so it's really important that you use the condom correctly.

You sound like a lovely lad OP - and apart from all the safe sex advice you're getting here, it's really important that you enjoy your first experience of full, penetrative sex. Nobody ever told me I should enjoy it..I was so worried (I'm a woman btw!) - and I think it's important that you understand that while there's all the safety issues, there's always a huge amount of enjoyment to be had:D

Either way OP, take the advice you got here on board, and enjoy:)

niamhocxox

Hey OP, as a girl who had her first time with her current bf (who was also a virgin), the first time (looking back) is terrible in that you don't know what you're doing of course its fun, but crap compared to what it is after a bit of practice I just think its important to note that your first time is special (I for one definitely considered it special because it was with a guy I loved) so "take care" of your gf, just make sure she's comfortable and it isn't sore for her etc. I know you want it to be perfect in a technical sense but the emotional sense is important too. And if things don't go perfect just laugh it off with your gf, my bf and I had an awful giggle anyway :rolleyes: Best of luck andhey, it gets better in time

DarrenDay

I usually take the condom off near the end and cum on her stomach. Its fairly standard but probably not the done thing for your first time.

DarrenDay

DarrenDay wrote: »

I usually take the condom off near the end and cum on her stomach. Its fairly standard but probably not the done thing for your first time.

If you do something like this, OP - make sure you tell her first. Some girls like it, whereas some girls do not. Make sure you do what she will like first and it might not be something you want to ask her from the get-go.

Acoshla

DarrenDay wrote: »

I usually take the condom off near the end and cum on her stomach.

Why? Just...why? That's what the feckin condom is for, why go and make the poor girl all sticky and gross.

OP definitely don't do this for your first time, scar the poor girl for life if she thinks that's how it ends!

DarrenDay

Spadina wrote: »

Why? Just...why? That's what the feckin condom is for, why go and make the poor girl all sticky and gross.

OP definitely don't do this for your first time, scar the poor girl for life if she thinks that's how it ends!

Fair point. Maybe it is like marking your scent. Cumming into a condom just seems a bit clinical.

Good Lord, why don't you pee on her next?

muinteoir09

Spadina wrote: »

Why? Just...why? That's what the feckin condom is for, why go and make the poor girl all sticky and gross.

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I though condoms were to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancy, not to keep the girl nice and clean. Obviously the man shouldn't come ANYWHERE on the girl without her permission but condoms are not for cosmetic use.

Baby wipes, while not effective as a contraceptive or STD-barrier, come in very handy against being made sticky and gross.

Neyite

DarrenDay wrote: »

Fair point. Maybe it is like marking your scent. Cumming into a condom just seems a bit clinical.

Someone would only get the chance to 'mark their scent' on me once before I chuck them out for being a selfish twat.

markpb

muinteoir09 wrote: »

Baby wipes, while not effective as a contraceptive or STD-barrier, come in very handy against being made sticky and gross.

Shared shower afterwards are good too

OP, don't forget to let us know how everything went if you two do end up having sex. Obviously don't go into gory details, but keep in mind the more you do it, the better it is, the longer it lasts and the better both of you get.

Acoshla

muinteoir09 wrote: »

Maybe I'm mistaken, but I though condoms were to prevent STDs and unwanted pregnancy, not to keep the girl nice and clean.

And preventing pregnancy would mainly be achieved by a condom collecting the sperm and not leaving it inside the girl, yes?

skooterblue

OP
What is basicially being said to you is keep it nice and vanilla and clean. Dont try out any fetish or things that seem any way slightly off the beaten path

herya

DarrenDay wrote: »

I usually take the condom off near the end and cum on her stomach. Its fairly standard but probably not the done thing for your first time.

OP don't do it, it's awful for the girl when you stop stimulating her like that! How selfish! You have time to play all kinds of games with her later but if you're only starting make sure you give her full attention.

When you're finished don't run away to get rid of the condom immediately, just secure the base of the condom and give your gf a moment - she might be just behind you (or if it's her first time she might not finish at all). It's not fun when the guy jumps up to run away the second he's finished. Keep tissues nearby.

And enjoy

muinteoir09

Spadina wrote: »

And preventing pregnancy would mainly be achieved by a condom collecting the sperm and not leaving it inside the girl, yes?

Again, you seem to be confused. Condoms are not designed to keep females 'clean'. If you require foolproof, come-free sex, may I suggest a vibrator. Anyone who thinks that condoms exist purely to avoid mess probably shouldn't engage in sex.

trio

I'm pretty suprised no-one's mentioned lube, considering it's her first time too.

OP, the reason girls hurt inside is that they're not stimulated enough, which makes them wet inside. If you're not wet, then it's like a feckin' tree branch being moved inside you - grit your teeth and bear it time. Not fun. And when it's your first time you're usually too nervous to really relax and allow yourself to get that stimulated - especially when the guy you're with hasn't much experience of stimulating you anyway.

To be on the safe side, you can use lube. You get it in chemists, either KY jelly, or in Boots they have this line called "Play".

After you put the condom on, you can squirt a bit into your hand and stroke it over your condom to make it slippery. Or she can squirt some into her hand and stroke it over your condom - that can be fun for both of you, but that's up to her. It is her first time so she may be shy of something like that at first.

Then you work away!

Anyway, as a girl, I highly recommend it. It makes a huge difference and should be recommended for all girls IMO for their first time.

Acoshla

muinteoir09 wrote: »

Again, you seem to be confused. Condoms are not designed to keep females 'clean'. If you require foolproof, come-free sex, may I suggest a vibrator. Anyone who thinks that condoms exist purely to avoid mess probably shouldn't engage in sex.

I'm not confused, I think it seems maybe you are?

The very way in which condoms prevent pregnancy is by collecting the sperm and not leaving it inside the woman, therefore it is a basic function of condoms that they collect the sperm, so I was wondering why when there is something already doing that (and preventing pregnancy and STD's at the same time in case you think I don't get that bit) that someone would choose to just cum all over a girl's stomach, it's not like he has no other choice of where to put it if he's already wearing a condom.

Does that make it a little bit clearer for you now?

muinteoir09

Spadina wrote: »

I'm not confused, I think it seems maybe you are?

The very way in which condoms prevent pregnancy is by collecting the sperm and not leaving it inside the woman, therefore it is a basic function of condoms that they collect the sperm, so I was wondering why when there is something already doing that (and preventing pregnancy and STD's at the same time in case you think I don't get that bit) that someone would choose to just cum all over a girl's stomach, it's not like he has no other choice of where to put it if he's already wearing a condom.

Does that make it a little bit clearer for you now?

Maybe you could be a little more patronising?

Your original post reads "Why? Just...why? That's what the feckin condom is for, why go and make the poor girl all sticky and gross" which makes the suggestion that condoms are designed to keep girls from the nasty sticky stuff. I merely pointed out that they are not designed for this. Rather, avoiding mess is merely an optional extra. Although what the big deal is about a little come I don't know...

sam34

DarrenDay wrote: »

I usually take the condom off near the end and cum on her stomach. Its fairly standard but probably not the done thing for your first time.

Spadina wrote: »

Why? Just...why? That's what the feckin condom is for, why go and make the poor girl all sticky and gross.

OP definitely don't do this for your first time, scar the poor girl for life if she thinks that's how it ends!

why?

because not everyone finds it "sticky and gross", some people find it erotic and sensual.

LegacyUser

Cheers for the advice folks, everything went well.

For the person who mentioned lube, there was no need thankfully, there was plenty of foreplay beforehand which obviously helped in that regard

In the end I just came into the condom while penetrating, it seemed the easiest thing to at the time!

sam34

sam34 wrote: »

why?

because not everyone finds it "sticky and gross", some people find it erotic and sensual.

But from the get-go though? It's not the kind of thing you do the very first time you have sex with someone! I do quite enjoy doing it, but only if the girl is alright with it.

Glad it went alright OP! You're now a man etc etc and such.

dudara

OP - just remember that sex is natural. The birds do it, the bees do it etc. Start fooling around and if the attraction is there, just let nature take it's course.

The advantage of being human, and not an ape, is that we can benefit when some thought is put into the sex act. Plenty of foreplay and be sensible with the condoms. For a first time, focus on vanilla and remember to catch the condom at the base of the penis before pulling out. Don't go for any freaky-deaky stuff at the start. This is a learning curve between you and the girl. You'll figure out what each other likes given enough time.

Good luck and good times.

sam34

Deleted User wrote: »

But from the get-go though? It's not the kind of thing you do the very first time you have sex with someone! I do quite enjoy doing it, but only if the girl is alright with it.

Glad it went alright OP! You're now a man etc etc and such.

not necessarily from the first night with someone. i was more responding to the poster who called it "sticky and gross" and merely pointing out that not everyone has this opinion.

dudara

Guys - please let this one go. I don't want to see anymore discussion on individual preferences.
dudara

skooterblue

dudara wrote: »

For a first time, focus on vanilla and remember to catch the condom at the base of the penis before pulling out. Don't go for any freaky-deaky stuff at the start.

This is might not be the best time to mention it but maybe you should remove the rubber gimp suit, nipple clamps and urine catheter from your Christmas wish list

gerryk

op_cluelessguy wrote: »

Cheers for the advice folks, everything went well.

For the person who mentioned lube, there was no need thankfully, there was plenty of foreplay beforehand which obviously helped in that regard

In the end I just came into the condom while penetrating, it seemed the easiest thing to at the time!

Seems everyone else is too busy with their own bickering, so let me be the first to congratulate you both!