Dont know what to do?

LegacyUser · 15-12-2010 6:40pm #1

hi all, stuck with a dilema and need some advice.

ok about 12 years ago, i used to have a really bad crush on this girl really bad, the thing was she was one of my best friends girlfriend.

i always got the impression she liked me back, but she was off limits because she a friends girlfriend.

anyhow ended up losing contact with the friend over the years so eventually lost feelings for the girl, while she and he ended up getting married, but i ran into the girl about 2 weeks ago and she has broke up with the old friend.

the thing is all the old feelings are back, and i really want to ask her out on a date as i am also single now, but i am kinda scared to ask, partially outta respect for the old friend but mostly i am afraid of my life she will say no, and its not like i am afraid of rejection, i dont know what it is i cant really explain it.

so i need someone to try and explain it to me please

15-12-2010 6:53pm

Any idea how long they've been broken up for?

LegacyUser · 15-12-2010 7:32pm

since july but when i was talking to her she told me it was over, they were together for 16 years

15-12-2010 7:45pm

If I were you, I wouldn't jump into anything right away. Go out with drinks with them, if they want to, but try to take your time. In all likelihood they won't be ready to leap straight back in. I don't know, I could be wrong, but 16 years is a long time to be with someone.

LegacyUser · 15-12-2010 7:53pm

the thing is i dont see either of the people anymore the old freind or his ex/my crush. the only way i can contact her is through face book, he is also on it too.(god i feel like im 13 im 35).. i wont see her around at all she lives oppisite side of city now, so if i want to see her again i have to ask her, but thats where i dont no what i should do.

thanks for answering by the way

LegacyUser · 16-12-2010 3:27am

do what boneyarsebogman says try just being friendly for a while and gauge her interest in dating you ( or anyone else )
talk with her some more on facebook maybe arrange something simple around a shared hobby.

your old friend probably wont like you dating his ex but if you don't seem him much anymore than you cant be close anymore.

16-12-2010 10:53am

You're welcome.

Here's one possibility and I say this not knowing her privacy settings on Facebook, but you might be able to send her emails over there without the ex knowing. If she's like me however, then her Facebook is practically blocked to the outside world and those not friends with me.

Just take it easy, see how things are going. She may need a friend more than a relationship.

Dont know what to do?

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