Facebook Question...Groan!

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

I recently joined facebook after years of avoiding it as I find the whole thing a bit invasive and cringey, that's just my personal view.

My brother lives in Canada and kept badgering to join so I could see his photos etc so I did.

Anyway, I met a guy out a few weeks ago and he requested me as a friend on facebook. I'm new to this and was just wondering, is it possible for me to accept his friend request without him knowing?

I knwo it sounds weird but I'm not sure what I think of this guy and am not sure I want him seeing my page at all but i wouldn't mind having a peek at his to get a better knowledge of him!

Is it possible to accept but still keep mine private?

He asked me last weekend why i hadn't accepted yet and I said oh, i've just been busy!

Thanks guys. I feel like such a nerd asking this!

humanji

I don't think it's possible to lock out only one person. If you accept their friendship request then they'll be able to see everything your other friends can see. He won't get an alert saying that you've accepted his request, but he'll be able to see that you're one of his friends on his friends list and when you're online.

Maybe just don't accept or deny his request. On your account, change your privacy settings so that only your friends can see your updates or anything you put up there, and if he asks you why you didn't accept him, just say you never use it and didn't get around to it.

LegacyUser

humanji wrote: »

I don't think it's possible to lock out only one person. If you accept their friendship request then they'll be able to see everything your other friends can see. He won't get an alert saying that you've accepted his request, but he'll be able to see that you're one of his friends on his friends list and when you're online.

Maybe just don't accept or deny his request. On your account, change your privacy settings so that only your friends can see your updates or anything you put up there, and if he asks you why you didn't accept him, just say you never use it and didn't get around to it.

Ok cool....I might accept his request, check out his page, then shut down my account!
I am deactivating my account anyway cause I genuinely don't use/like it.
He might think this is weird though. Would I still appear on his page/friends list in that case?
Stupid confusing facebook crap!

andreac

Sorry but both parties are notified if you become friends with them. You cant just accept without him knowing.
But you can block him from your photos, wall etc once you have accepted him.

tenchi-fan

facethebook wrote: »

Ok cool....I might accept his request, check out his page, then shut down my account!
I am deactivating my account anyway cause I genuinely don't use/like it.
He might think this is weird though. Would I still appear on his page/friends list in that case?
Stupid confusing facebook crap!

Hi
Yes, it would be a very weird thing to do.
Depending on his notification settings he may get an email saying you two are now friends, and when he clicks the link your page won't be there.
He might think you blocked him rather than deleted your account.

You can edit your privacy settings to limit the amount of info that is available to him.

LegacyUser

Ok thanks guys.
How would I do that? Limit the info?
Ah you know what...it's too much hassle and over thinking.
I'll just accept him, it's no big deal really.

Question though..if you had been with a girl on a date and it went well and you then requested her as a friend and she didn't accept and it was a week later, would you be bothered/confused/care?

This is why I hate facebook.

LUPE

So you don't know if you want to let him see your page, but you wanna snoop around his?

And you think Facebook is invasive and cringy?

It's a great social medium when used by a grown-up.

deereidy

facethebook wrote: »

Hi Guys,

I recently joined facebook after years of avoiding it as I find the whole thing a bit invasive and cringey, that's just my personal view.

My brother lives in Canada and kept badgering to join so I could see his photos etc so I did.

Anyway, I met a guy out a few weeks ago and he requested me as a friend on facebook. I'm new to this and was just wondering, is it possible for me to accept his friend request without him knowing?

I knwo it sounds weird but I'm not sure what I think of this guy and am not sure I want him seeing my page at all but i wouldn't mind having a peek at his to get a better knowledge of him!

Is it possible to accept but still keep mine private?

He asked me last weekend why i hadn't accepted yet and I said oh, i've just been busy!

Thanks guys. I feel like such a nerd asking this!

Yes, it is possible to do this, but he may think it's a bit weird that he can't look at your page even though you accepted him as a friend! If you to privacy settings under the account tab at the top you can customise them to stop certain people looking at your profile, for example I have certain family members blocked from seeing my updates because I don't want them to know what I'm up to! In short, yes it's possible, but he'll still know you've accepted him as a friend.

LegacyUser

humanji wrote: »

I don't think it's possible to lock out only one person. If you accept their friendship request then they'll be able to see everything your other friends can see. He won't get an alert saying that you've accepted his request, but he'll be able to see that you're one of his friends on his friends list and when you're online.

Maybe just don't accept or deny his request. On your account, change your privacy settings so that only your friends can see your updates or anything you put up there, and if he asks you why you didn't accept him, just say you never use it and didn't get around to it.

I may be wrong, but he will get an alert if you accept him, I always get alerts when people accept me if I added someone, it usually goes something like ".....has accepted your friend request.

@OP, you can block him from seeing your photos and certain things without actually blocking him, just a thought

tenchi-fan

facethebook wrote: »

Ok thanks guys.
How would I do that? Limit the info?
Ah you know what...it's too much hassle and over thinking.
I'll just accept him, it's no big deal really.

Question though..if you had been with a girl on a date and it went well and you then requested her as a friend and she didn't accept and it was a week later, would you be bothered/confused/care?

This is why I hate facebook.

If I was on a date and sent a friend request on fb, I'd be really nervous! The ultimate snub is to not accept someone on fb when you're clearly using it to talk to other people.

However, there's always the chance you didn't log on in a while.

It really isn't as complicated as you're making out & I'm not sure what the big deal is. If you use facebook, be prepared for people to add you even though you only met them once.

LUPE

LUPE wrote: »

So you don't know if you want to let him see your page, but you wanna snoop around his?

And you think Facebook is invasive and cringy?

It's a great social medium when used by a grown-up.

Indeed. It's very unfair to accept someone and then put them on a limited profile just so you can check out their page. What you're doing is exactly what you're afraid other people will do, snooping! Don't think he won't notice if you do this. It's really bad manners. Accept him or don't accept him. Why should he let you see his page if you aren't prepared to show yours?

When you accept new friends, you are given the option to add people to various different lists. One of these is Limited Profile. If you add them to that list, they can see only a limited amount of stuff - basically whatever you choose.

Another useful tip for people - when you see the green button beside the list name on the chat bar, click it so that it reverses and turns grey. This means that you are offline to that specific group. It comes in useful for those you don't want to talk to, but don't want to block either.

Wompa1

facebooker101 wrote: »

I may be wrong, but he will get an alert if you accept him, I always get alerts when people accept me if I added someone, it usually goes something like ".....has accepted your friend request.

@OP, you can block him from seeing your photos and certain things without actually blocking him, just a thought

Don't accept him. If he has made the friend request you can leave the request there and view his page. If you click ignore you will not be able to see anything...that's if you want to see his page but I don't know why you would really unless you were spying or something...

I too hate facebook. I have deleted my account three times. My problem is all my American family are on it and it's my only real way of communicating with them. Unfortunately other people find me. I didn't want to add my g/f because I knew it would be trouble and sure enough it has been. I see pictures of her without even going to her page with her arm around guys drunk and my mind goes racing...I've since installed a free program called GreaseMonkey for Firefox which blocks all the annoying features.

I don't see friend suggestions, photo suggestions etc.

kjl

So you want to snoop on him, but don't want him looking at you?

dinjo

humanji wrote: »

He won't get an alert saying that you've accepted his request,

yes he will.... i get email confirmation if a new friend accepts me. he wont get notified if you reject

Dravokivich

so... you've only met.him once, you want to accept his add so you can look over his profile.

i don't understand why you'd deny him the chance to look over your's.

LegacyUser

Dravokivich wrote: »

so... you've only met.him once, you want to accept his add so you can look over his profile.

i don't understand why you'd deny him the chance to look over your's.

The truth? I have a boyfriend.
I know...I know..

Are you happy in your relationship? If not, this is something you really need to look into before trying to snoop at this other guy.

tenchi-fan

facethebook wrote: »

The truth? I have a boyfriend.
I know...I know..

So it's not as much an issue that you don't know how to use facebook, you're really scared that your boyfriend will find out you're chatting up other guys behind his back and friending them on facebook....

My revised answer is: decline the friend request. If you accept it you'll just be making trouble for yourself