First Date Worries & Blues

LegacyUser

Hey Guys,

Went on a first date last night with a guy that I really like. We met on an evening course a few weeks ago and I asked him out last week.

The date went well and towards the end we were all over each other. He told me he thinks I'm gorgeous and he was really glad I had asked him out. He said a few things during the night which led me to believe he liked me, things like....'next time we go out...'

At the end of the night he asked could he come home with me but I said no. I have a rule that I don't have sex on a first date no matter how much I fancy the guy!!

He texted me later that night asking if I got home alright and I replied saying yes.

This morning I texted him saying hows the head and thanks for a lovely night. I still haven't heard back from him and am now worried that he doesn't like me afterall.

I'm thinking that if he liked me he would have texted back by now or he would have texted first. I think he may have said so many nice things to try and get into my knickers but has lost interest now cause I didn't bring him back.

Thoughts guys? If you like a girl do you usually text the next day?

Cheers

That_Guy

Give him a call and find out.

zxcvbnm1

Ya. Assuming he actually received your text then yes, if I was interested in someone I would definitely text back - as would nearly everyone I'm sure.

It doesn't look good I'm afraid.

Johnny Derpp

burritobaby wrote: »

I'm thinking that if he liked me he would have texted back by now or he would have texted first. I think he may have said so many nice things to try and get into my knickers but has lost interest now cause I didn't bring him back.

It's possible.

But don't write him off yet.

He could be busy or something?

Wompa1

Sounds like a player...and he asked you if he could go home with you....As subtle as a brick to the head!

Miss Fluff

+1 to the above. He made it very clear he wanted to have sex with you so perhaps thats all he was after....

JimmyCrackCorn

Not always players. Im slow, i met a girl and first real date was two months after we met.

Mind you we did meet for drinks once when i was passing through but thats not a date in my book.

LegacyUser

Well he did reply after a few hours saying that he had a great night too and asking if I was feeling hungover.

I'm still not sure what tot hinkt hough. I think the fact that he asked could he come home with me is a really bad sign. I said no and he said...just to sleep beside you and hold you even and I said no.

I get the feeling he fancies me but nothing more.

I'm just not sure. If he texts me on Wednesday or Thursday and asks me out again and I go, I'll probably end up sleeping with him cause he is really hot and I fancy him but I'm worried that he'll never call me again then.

Why is it so complicated!! I was in a relationship for the last 5 years and I forgot how confusing dating is:(

JimmyCrackCorn

burritobaby wrote: »

I get the feeling he fancies me but nothing more.

You say that like a bad thing. Don't build it up into a huge thing. If you are interested ask him out. If he says yes/no you have an answer.

If you are uncomfortable about anything don't do it.

thesituation51

If you think you're gonna sleep with him, and then be upset if he doesnt call you, dont do it! you don't seem to feel secure about this guy at all-I know you've only had one date, but your instincts are telling u he may just be after one thing. Please don't sleep with him just cos he's hot if you have doubts over his motivation - unless it's cool with you to not hear from him again!

Miss Fluff

burritobaby wrote: »

I get the feeling he fancies me but nothing more.

I'm just not sure. If he texts me on Wednesday or Thursday and asks me out again and I go, I'll probably end up sleeping with him cause he is really hot and I fancy him but I'm worried that he'll never call me again then.

Why is it so complicated!!

You don't have to sleep with him you know. Nobody is putting a gun to your head.

Tbh I think you need to relax a little, this is only as complicated as you want it to be. You've had one date with the guy and you're going into turbo-analysis mode. Relax, see if he asks you out again, if he does all well and good and if he doesn't, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it, not like you've invested loads in the guy. Don't have any expectations and just enjoy yourself. If sleeping with him doesn't feel right then don't.

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You don't have to sleep with him you know. Nobody is putting a gun to your head.

Tbh I think you need to relax a little, this is only as complicated as you want it to be. You've had one date with the guy and you're going into turbo-analysis mode. Relax, see if he asks you out again, if he does all well and good and if he doesn't, I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it, not like you've invested loads in the guy. Don't have any expectations and just enjoy yourself. If sleeping with him doesn't feel right then don't.

And if it does feel right should I?
Is sleeping with a guy on a second date cosidered cheap?

I've known him for a few weeks though.

Thanks for your advice Miss Fluff. i always respect your opinion. I know I'm worrying too much and I think it's because I've been out of the dating loop for so long!

He fancies me, that much I know for sure and I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it all unfolds!

Believe it or not I used to be full of confidence and had men flocking to me but my ex damaged me pretty badly.

Thanks all

Miss Fluff

Aw I know it's hard, and I know it can be tough to pick yourself up and dust yourself off after having the little heart broken.

In light of you disclosing that, I would be inclined not to sleep with him yet then. If you've been through the ringer, you'll be so so happy if you take this slowly and proceed with caution if you think you actually like him.

It's very easy to get caught up in the excitement and thrills of fancying someone again, and it's great you're ready to get yourself out there, but if you have no expectations and you really take some time to actually suss him out and don't put any pressure on you, or on him or on your fledgling relationship (all the while enjoying yourself) any decisions you then make can be informed ones.

Take a step back and actually see what happens.

Wompa1

burritobaby wrote: »

And if it does feel right should I?
Is sleeping with a guy on a second date cosidered cheap?

I've known him for a few weeks though.

Thanks for your advice Miss Fluff. i always respect your opinion. I know I'm worrying too much and I think it's because I've been out of the dating loop for so long!

He fancies me, that much I know for sure and I guess I'll just have to wait and see how it all unfolds!

Believe it or not I used to be full of confidence and had men flocking to me but my ex damaged me pretty badly.

Thanks all

This might sound crude..but had guys flocking to you means what? Because in honesty as a man even the ugliest girl could get laid any given night she wants if she plays it loosey goosey. As stated in other posts by women they pretty much get harassed in night clubs. If the attention is that of randy men I wouldn't pay it much attention.

From a guys perspective. I have no problem waiting for sex if I'm into the girl. I think for a relationship it's worth to wait for sex to at least signal your intent. If you want to this guy as a boyfriend I'd hold off for another couple of dates at least...but that's just me talking.

I never understood the popular "lad" theory that if you get sex on the first date or the first night you cut off ties...that was until I did it. I had such an overwhelming feeling that it wasn't right that it instantly put me off the girl. And I'm not a "lad" type I think..I'm not mad into sports, I don't drink for sport, I'm not obnoxious about womens bodies etc.

neveah

If you slept with him how would you handle it if he never contacted you again afterwards? This is what you have to think about. If he likes you and wants to be with you then he will wait until you are ready to sleep with him. If all he's looking for is sex and you are looking for something more then I don't think it's a good idea to sleep with him. Just remember that by sleeping with him it will not make him like you more.

I am a friend

From my own experiences of late, I think its safer, particularily when you are not hardened and used to 'the scene' to assume, until you know more that sex is what most guys want... Then you can only be nicely suprised. I have a guy texting me since JULY and I did meet him and on the 3rd date slept with him (a couple of months back) and since then he still texts every day (i dont initiate) and has made it clear that he only wants sex.

Same with another guy I know since May, didnt sleep with him but every 2 days or so get a text checking in... These guys are late 30's. Both are sweet and attentive but both are only out for sex and have of late made it clear.. Protect yourself by not sleeping with him too soon as its so easy to think its something more than it is after sleeping with someone - trust me, I know...