Last night's Xmas party. Positive? Looking for opinions.

John400

Hi all.

Some of the regulars on here may remember i was on a while ago looking for advice about i girl i'm quite attracted to at work as i was attending my work Christmas party last night. The general advice that i got on here was not to go chasing around after her and to have a general conversation with her and see what the vibes were. Generally i feel that this was pretty good advice.

To last night. I ran into a couple of male work colleagues on the way to the party and arrived in with them about 8pm last night to the pub. Everybody then started arriving within the next half hour or so. At first i was at a table with male work colleagues for a while and then i decided to mingle.

The girl who i like has arrived in with the general gang but she was elsewhere with the other girls etc, so i decided to just enjoy the evening and go with the flow.

I was talking to other colleagues at the bar at the start of the night and i actually ended up standing beside her when she was alone genuinely by chance. Not planned.

I initially asked her how she was and this then subsquently turned into a 45 minute conversation at the corner of the bar. We had a good laugh and covered a lot of topics work and otherwise. We then eventually both moved on to talk to other work colleagues. There was a definite feeling of mutal attraction there.

Then something quite interesting occured. There was a few colleagues who wanted to go into the nightclub next door and we all went in later. The girl who i like had to go home for various reasons after about half an hour or so. There was myself and ten colleagues together and she was saying goodbye and she came over to me and hugged me only and rubbed my back which i wasn't expecting at all. So i did the same thing back, happened spontaneusly.

A platonic female friend of mine told me today that in her opinion this girl is most definitely attracted to me as there was physical contact before she left from both parties and not towards other colleagues.

I'm happy with how things went as it does look positive from my perspective and i will at least try to develop something with her.

Thoughts? Generally positive?

Silverfish

I don't think that light's going to get any greener.

I'd say she seems interested alright, and I'd definitely try ask her out properly sometime soon.

Cheap Thrills!

Seems very positive. Ask her out!

seenitall

Yes, OP. Ask her out. Do it soon.

Doing it soon is the important part as you will be making use of the momentum that has been building completely naturally and therefore it will feel more spontaneous for you to do that than it would otherwise.

Best wishes.

Wompa1

Swoop in! Did she play with her hair? If she did she wants to do a line as they say. Remember when walking on the foot path stand on the outside..I can't stress that enough :P

John400

Hi all, thanks for all your input.

Just to give you a quick update on things. Just to clarify, when i first posted about this situation i was saying that this girl was new to my company and worked in a different area of my company...this is obviously still the case.

I was working at my area on Monday afternoon and this girl walked through the large area that i work in, but i only realised that when i got up from my desk when she had already walked past...this is common-place in my work as it's a bit of a distance to walk over to my area. I'm certain that she looked over in my direction as i could see her through the corner of my eye.

I'm in a bit of a spot at the moment in that i'm going on Christmas leave on Tuesday so i may not see her at all until i return in January. I'm most definitely going to ask her out but there are certain things in work that i have to be aware of...

*being professional. However much i like this girl i can't endanger both our jobs etc..i have to be seen to be doing what i'm paid for.

*colleagues within earshot. I have to be careful with this one as the last thing i want is other colleagues getting gossip which could be embarassing.

*I was talking to a female friend and she said that maybe a good idea to see how i get on with this girl when i encounter her again in work..still good vibes. I would be able to do this even with colleagues within earshot as i'm seeing how i get on with her etc..i.e developing a bit of a friendship. ..she also said to me that the girl i like would be thinking 'He likes me' when the mutal hug took place at the party..etc.

I'll have to see how this develops. I most definitely will ask her out but i have to be professional and careful to a degree and do the asking when there's only the two of us in a certain area. Makes sense i think.

twilight_singer

John400 wrote: »

Hi all, thanks for all your input.

Just to give you a quick update on things. Just to clarify, when i first posted about this situation i was saying that this girl was new to my company and worked in a different area of my company...this is obviously still the case.

I was working at my area on Monday afternoon and this girl walked through the large area that i work in, but i only realised that when i got up from my desk when she had already walked past...this is common-place in my work as it's a bit of a distance to walk over to my area. I'm certain that she looked over in my direction as i could see her through the corner of my eye.

I'm in a bit of a spot at the moment in that i'm going on Christmas leave on Tuesday so i may not see her at all until i return in January. I'm most definitely going to ask her out but there are certain things in work that i have to be aware of...

*being professional. However much i like this girl i can't endanger both our jobs etc..i have to be seen to be doing what i'm paid for.

*colleagues within earshot. I have to be careful with this one as the last thing i want is other colleagues getting gossip which could be embarassing.

*I was talking to a female friend and she said that maybe a good idea to see how i get on with this girl when i encounter her again in work..still good vibes. I would be able to do this even with colleagues within earshot as i'm seeing how i get on with her etc..i.e developing a bit of a friendship. ..she also said to me that the girl i like would be thinking 'He likes me' when the mutal hug took place at the party..etc.

I'll have to see how this develops. I most definitely will ask her out but i have to be professional and careful to a degree and do the asking when there's only the two of us in a certain area. Makes sense i think.

Just start a general email conversation with her dude! Hey did you enjoy the party or something like that, she will more than likely reply if shes into you

LegacyUser

A lot of people meet their boyfriends/girlfriends through work. Why should you be any different? You're aware of the possibility that things mightn't end well which would make it difficult to work with her. I'd say cross that bridge IF you come to it. And that's a big IF!
Stop analysing and worrying about what may or may not happen. If you don't ask her out now, she might end up with someone else and ten years down the line you'll still be thinking about the girl who got away!
You have the world at your feet (a girl you like likes you back), don't kick it away because you fear the unknown. You'll regret it.


Too long, didn't read? ASK HER OUT : )

John400

twilight singer and unregistered, thanks very much for your advice.

Don't worry i'm going to ask her out 100% be it soon or when i return to work in January.

twilight singer thanks, that's exactly what i was thinking of saying to her. It's a good starting point because she was in my company for some of it! As i say it's funny the way things went at the party as i was just enjoying the night and kind of ended up chatting to her genuinely by chance. Actually i was slightly disappointed that she had to go home early because i didn't have a chance to see how things went in the nightclub/outside etc.

As my friends were saying to me, thank the Lord i hugged her mirroring her physical contact as she would be thinking 'He's into me'. At least i had i chance to give her an indication of how i felt and also other colleagues wouldn't have picked up on it.

As i said in a work situation it can be difficult. If i talk to her alone i can ask her out, if she says yes or no at least it's between us. I have to pick the opportunity..as i said i have to be seen to be professional when other staff/colleagues are around and some clients come into my job frequently so i have to be wary. As i said colleagues within earshot is dangerous.

nickobrien1986

Dude,
for crying out loud, EVICT YOUR INNER WUSSY.
Ask her.

Life rewards action.

Don't act as desperate or needy when asking.

As for work relationships, man life is too short, just do it.
Really if she says no shes not going to be a bit ch about it.
In my opinion a man who never tries is a complete gimp.

What do you want? a. more love from your right hand or b. a new girlfriend.

John400

nickobrien1986 wrote: »

Dude,
for crying out loud, EVICT YOUR INNER WUSSY.
Ask her.

Life rewards action.

Don't act as desperate or needy when asking.

As for work relationships, man life is too short, just do it.
Really if she says no shes not going to be a bit ch about it.
In my opinion a man who never tries is a complete gimp.

What do you want? a. more love from your right hand or b. a new girlfriend.

Nick, i'm going to ask her out mate.!! I've said it twice in the last two posts. What i'm saying is i can't do it when she's talking to me when my Supervisor and General Manager are standing beside us at the same time...do you get my drift? I'm in work so i have to be seen to be professional.

Being professional in work doesn't mean i'm not asking her out. With respect i think you've mis-interpreted what i'm saying somewhat.

nickobrien1986

why the heck do the Irish have such a negative attitude towards asking people out?
We talk about it as if it is crime or something.

This stuff is less common in the States

John400

nickobrien1986 wrote: »

why the heck do the Irish have such a negative attitude towards asking people out?
We talk about it as if it is crime or something.

This stuff is less common in the States

The fact that i'm going to ask her out is negative?

Nick, if she's standing beside me when a dozen colleagues are in my area i can't do it!! The last thing i want to do is risk her and my employment.

As i said clients come into my job regularly and does the chief exec. from the UK. I have to be professional. When i talk her when she's alone i'll ask her out, i hope there's nothing wrong with having a bit of tact in work!!

John400

Hi all, just a quick update.

I was at a friends house this evening and unknown to me one of my female friends decided to put this girl's name who i like at work into a couple of social networking sites...

...i wasn't expecting them to do that as they caught me by surprise.(!)

Anyway, there was 2 profiles of her...one older one and one newer one. Her status is single in the older profile, in the newer profile it says where she's based/lives etc...but i'm almost certain she's still single now....

..at least they've clarified that one for me. I finished work today for Christmas so i won't see her until January.

I've a better idea where i stand now..at least it's a single girl i'm going to ask out, at least my friends clarified it.

LeahK

OP your posts are hilarious, I think what people meant in previous posts was to just get on with it! You have thought it to death at this stage and might talk yourself out of it eventually.

Do it as soon as you can..if she yes...Christmas could be great,
If she says No, least you dont have to see her til the year and it will be forgotten about by then!

Take the bull by the horn and go for it

Zen65

nickobrien1986 wrote: »

Dude,
for crying out loud, EVICT YOUR INNER WUSSY.

I think this should be the new mantra for the men of Ireland in 2011.

Not just on matters of romance, but on all matters in life where a brave decision is needed.


Be at peace,

Z

whysomoody

John400 wrote: »

..at least they've clarified that one for me. I finished work today for Christmas so i won't see her until January.

I've a better idea where i stand now..at least it's a single girl i'm going to ask out, at least my friends clarified it.

If you have her number text her now as you wont see her for a while it will let things calm down if she declines.
One of the best things I've done in years was ask a girl out who I really liked, she didnt even say Yes but it was so emancipating that it helped my confidence and now I am happy.

John400

whysomoody wrote: »

If you have her number text her now as you wont see her for a while it will let things calm down if she declines.
One of the best things I've done in years was ask a girl out who I really liked, she didnt even say Yes but it was so emancipating that it helped my confidence and now I am happy.

I'm not at work until January so i can't ask her sooner and i don't have her number.

Just to clarify again...to other posters, i am 100% going to ask her out.

In a way my friends have actually done me a favour by by looking her up as it eliminates the wondering of if she's already in a relationship. It gives me extra incentive to do it.

Jennifurball

Well if she is on facebook or wherever, why don't you ask her out on that? Strike while the iron's hot. If she says yes, brilliant, if she says no, you have the time to get over it before you see her again.

I really would do this now, I don't doubt you will ask her but you have to do it before things dwindle.

Good luck.

Fittle

Jesus Wept OP!!! She might meet someone over xmas - someone who might actually ask her out without a few hours of meeting her!!!!

You have seen her on the social networking site (fb, I assume?) - just message her!!! Life is too short for all this planning and plotting when you're gonna ask her...JUST ASK HER OUT!

wirelessdude01

Talk about dancing around the issue. Just message her via facebook and ask her out. TBH this whole story sounds like something you would hear a teenager doing, afraid to ask her out.

She is only a person and can only say yes/no.

As another poster said, strike while the iron is hot or else she might meet someone else out over the chrristmas period.

Good luck with it though.

ManOfMystery

Mate, just bite the bullet and do it .............. be it Facebook, getting her number off friends, whatever. Not in a month, NOW.

Believe me that I talk from experience when I say ................. if you don't do it, some other guy will!