What shall I do

LegacyUser

I apologise in advance for such a silly 'what is he thinking?' thread. But this is really wrecking my head.

I went on a date wit someone last week, I met him online, which is something I don't often do but to my surprise I really liked him, we got on well, laughed a lot and had a great time. At the end of the date we kissed and he said he couldn't wait to see me again. He alsohad already mentioned that he was going away for a fee days over the weekend and didn't know exactly when he would be back but he would see me over the next few days. This was fine. I (stupidly) really got my hopes us.

Over the next few days he text me or spoke to my online very single day for a long time some of the time, again we had a right laugh together and I was expected that when he got back he's be in touch to organsie us going out again.

He got back yesterday, text me to ask how I was but no did not mention meeting up again. I know he doesn't have much money as he's out of work at the min (I know how that feels) so In though maybe he couldnt afford it at the min. Anyway yesterday I text him again to ask how he was and hopefully he's mention meeting up. He didn't respond to the text at all! This is the first time in a week that we haven't spoken, I know he may have no credit or something but it's wrecking my head.

I, for some stupid reason, had really got my hoped up here and I am worried he's going to just leave it. But he seemed so keen earlier on. texting me all the time etc, I don't understand it.

The dating game is soo cruel.

neveah

OP I don't have much advice to give you unfortunately as I have found myself in the same position as you so I can only emphatise with head-wreckingness of it all!!
Same thing, met a guy, he contacted me non-stop every day for about two weeks and then he just stopped, nada, zip!
Don't know what I did either! I'm so sick of the whole dating thing as well.

Anway with regards your guy, you only textd him yesterday so it could very well be that he had no credit. If you want leave it a few days and if you don't hear from him send him another text to say hi and if he's still ignores you then I'd just forget about him if I were you.

Zeouterlimits

OP Take a breath.

The spark is wonderful but alot of what you're saying/thinking is not rational.
Give it a few days, enjoy yourself, take things easy, he does sound interested, he could just be busy or as you say (and was my first thought) he may no phone credit.

Katgurl

I'm not saying this is definitely the case here or even relevant but I personally wouldn't be speaking to a guy every day via text online or otherwise. You may have met online but I'd still follow same dating protocol once we met in real world. And i wouldn't wait passively to see if he'd ask me, after few messages I'd breezily write something like " great chatting to you, must get back to the grind here. I'd great time the other night give me a call if you wanna go out for a drink again sometime." and I'd leave it at that. Prob not much use here (sorry) unless he gets back to you but for the future - I certainly wouldn't be bothered entertaining some guy while he hedged his bets about whether or not he wanted see me again.

Miss Fluff

Dissapointed13 wrote: »

He got back yesterday, text me to ask how I was but no did not mention meeting up again. I know he doesn't have much money as he's out of work at the min (I know how that feels) so In though maybe he couldnt afford it at the min. Anyway yesterday I text him again to ask how he was and hopefully he's mention meeting up. He didn't respond to the text at all! This is the first time in a week that we haven't spoken, I know he may have no credit or something but it's wrecking my head.

But he texted you yesterday to say he was back didn't he? So he has been in touch. Try not to over-analyse here, he said he'd like to see you again when he is back. He is now back so if he doesn't suggest it then he is quite simply a numpty.

Organise other dates and don't invest so much thinking time/emotion into one person in future. You only spent a few hours with him.

I wouldn't contact him again now if I were you. He knows where you are.

LegacyUser

OP here

Thanks for all of your advise. Yes, I know, I shouldn't invest so much in someone I have just met on the internet, it's foolish and it's not the way I norm ally go on. However I did really like this guy, there was such a spark between us, stronger then I have felt with anyone for a while.

I have actually just spokn to the guy and I decided to ask him what was happening ad I just had a bad feeling about the whole thing. It turns out he is mad into someone else. Ge has knowsn her a while and has a raging crush on here. He said he still would like to meet jup with me but his thoughts are with her. The worth thing is it sounds like she's really messing him around, cancelling on him all the time, she's just broken up with someone else, blowing hot and cold. But that's not my problem.

I can't meet him again can I? Not when I feel like this.

Katgurl

No I wouldn't op. That's really annoying!!! Don't close the door completely but make it known you wouldn't play second fiddle.

I'd recommend a breezy mail - I've had a think about what you told me and it's probably for the best we don't meet considering how you feel. Best of luck with everything, you're a great bloke and you never know, our paths might cross again.

At best he might think WTF am I thinking passing up this great girl? At worst he'll think- oh she's so nice, I wish I felt differently.

Chin up op, I hope you meet somebody nice soon.

IrishEyes19

I would advice not meeting up with him, OP, sounds like he has you on the back burner incase it doesnt work out with the other girl, horrible situation I know and fair enough he was honest with you, but you dont want to have doubts going into a new relationship/dating scenario either.

Miss Fluff

Forget about him hon, thank goodness you didn't waste time on him eh? Onwards and upwards, and no, there is no point whatsoever in meeting him again.

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for the advise and kind words everyone.

Yes I know you're all right. I cannot meet him, and I wont. It might take all of the strength I can summon not too, but I wont. There would be no point, it'll just make the situation worse for me.

I am just annoyed that I let this guy get to me so early on and now this has happened. It's just typical of my luck. I hardly ever meet guys I like and when I do, they are really into someone else.

I am grateful too him for telling me straight what's happening. In a way something good has come of this because at least I know that there ARE men out there that I really like, I just need to find one that isn't in love with someone else!

LegacyUser

Sorry to hear about your situation OP. But don't beat yourself up over it, it's happened to us all at some point I think. Well it's happening to me currently. Kind of met a girl online, everything seemed to be going well when we talked and stuff but it's kind of become obvious to me that nothing will ever happen. It's so frustrating as like you, it had been a long, long time since I'd met someone that I really felt interested in and where I thought to myself "this could really go somewhere".

Unfortunately, it kind of dawned on me that things are going to stay where they are now, which is absolutely nowhere. It's frustrating that I've kind of used up all this time and emotion for nothing, but what can you do.

I strongly advise against meeting him, just try to move on and go out with other people. That's what I'm doing. I've already been out with another girl and I'm going to do my best to line up a few more dates with other girls if possible too. I also deleted all this girl's emails and everything that she sent me, as well as her email address and I deleted her number this morning too. She can contact me if she wants to but I'm not initiating contact with her anymore. And if she doesn't get in touch, then I guess we'll never be in contact again. Sad, but that's just the way these things go sometimes.

There's no point sitting around waiting on someone who isn't waiting for you. I just need to remember that advice myself.