Should I feel bad about this?

LegacyUser

To cut a long story short, met a girl a few weeks ago and we've been getting on great. Since then we have officially started going out, and the sexual element of our relationship has been developing too. Something really embarrassing happened to me with her when we were fooling around. Basically after I came I got nauseous and dizzy, went to the bathroom and vomited. I was unwell with a cold/Flu, hadn't slept that well and hadn't really had anything to eat that day, so I think it was that in combination with the "aerobic workout" I just had. It's never happened to me before so I was shocked.

Needless to say I was mortified and apologised to her explaining that I was feeling under the weather. However, she said she felt insulted by it, because I just "upped and left" (to go home, as you generally do when you're sick) and now is acting weird and distant with me. I asked if we could talk about it there and then but she said not to worry about it. Texting her then of course, she explains that she "felt weird" when I left and that something like that had never happened to her before. She did explain that she's been in relationships before where she's been made worthless and doesn't wanna be made feel that way again, so she's basically interpreting what happened as me just wanting to get my bit and leave, which is not the case. Have I done anything wrong here?

Oryx

Neither of you should feel bad, it was a misunderstanding. She thought you were leaving through lack of interest, you actually left because you werent well.

Ask to meet up again, as a kind of fresh start. That way you can pick things up with her again, and reassure her that your illness was a once off and no reflection on her at all.

Loopsie

Op why dont you plan a nice romantic evening for her......and surprise her. Make dinner and have some wine and move things into the bedroom to show that your not just in it for your bit
If she continues to be weird with you after that i would leave her be as she obviously has some baggage
Things like that can happen to the best of us, only recently while suffering a horrific dose of flu my OH decided to get amorous and while in theory i was all up for it i fell asleep in the middle, couldnt help it with all the meds i was on!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The pair of us thought it was hilarious and im getting a good ribbing still about it!!!!!

Miss Fluff

Did you tell her you actually spewed and were mortified? Telling her you "felt sick" might make he feel paranoid so if you tell her truthfully that you had flu/winter vomiting bug (which I had recently and it is NOT pleasant) she may feel more reassured.

Tell her you feel really bad but like Loopsie said, you want to make it up to her by taking her to dinner/cooking her dinner. It couldn't be helped and if she is reasonable she will understand once you have spoken to her properly about it!

LegacyUser

When your having a little nosey around boards.ie its funny to come across the exact situation which happened to you last night! Illguy I reckon that your my boyfriend and youve posted this because of the situation which happened last night.

I havent spoke to you about it today and you havent mentioned it so I figure this is as good a place as any to fix it basically if you dont want to talk about it with me? I am a very reasonable person and easy to talk to about things so I reckon the two of us kinda need to just sit down and talk properly about stuff.

Yes we were fooling around and after that what happened, happened and you just seemed to jump up and leave which left me feeling a little confused and like I did something wrong that made you feel nautious. On top of the fact that you said it had happened only once before..I was like sh*T... does that mean ive done soemthing wrong to make that happen?
I didnt realise that you were really that ill, thought it was just a cold so I just felt weird about it at the time when you left. I dont know maybe I was being unreasonable feeling that way and i can only appologise as thats just how i felt at the time
Our sexual relationship has only started developing correct and I guess I just want to be able to please you and not feel like im making you ill haha

I am a very happy person in my life and I certainly dont have "baggage". I really think it was all just a misunderstanding and I think its something we will both laugh about when we see each other.

For the record guys I am mad about Illguy(BF)... even though he has the manflu ... and I think we really should sit down and have a chat, drink and just get over the whole situation!

Zaph

I'm going to take the last post at face value and accept that it's the OP's girlfriend. On the basis that they both now know what the story is, they can sort it out between themselves without our help so I'm closing this thread.