Christmas gift for teachers

anamcarame

Its that time of year again. I have 2 kids in the same school national school and every Christmas they pick (and I buy) a little gift for their teacher. They make a Christmas card with their own special message and give it to the teacher themselves. Some of the parent club together and get a gift. when this was suggested last year and I got the text about donating a a fiver or more I suggested that in light of the current economic climate and the fact that some of the parents had lost their jobs that maybe a donation to charity by the children would be a good idea. They could do a whole school effort and put the little gifts into this instead. I also rang the principal about it and she said she would put it to the teachers but that it was unfair as the kids like to bring a present to their teacher. She never got back to me so I assumed that they were happy enough with the way it was and while a lot of other national schools had stopped the teacher gift idea as they felt it was inappropriate they continues it.

Today I just got a text from a parent asking for a donation of a fiver or a tenner for a gift for the teacher. I feel this is completely wrong. Fro a start this is not a gift from the kids at all and it is no wonder the teachers are not prepared to give up their gifts when they are all amalgamated into a €200 odd voucher!!
I have texted the parent involved to say we are not donating as we do our own small gift of gratitude and that maybe a collection was inappropriate considering the teachers are in secure well paid jobs and that the need is back to basics here. Let the kids give a little homemade gift or small bought gift but not a parental collective christmas bonus.

The replay was quick and sharp telling me that she was grateful for my input!!

I think I may call the principal again and suggest that no collections take place and it is small gifts only but then again it fell on deaf ears before. What do other schools do? Am I just ranting?

astra2000

Hi I would not reccommend ringing the principal, just do your own thing and leave others to do the same. If I was asked to donate to a collection and I had already decided not to give a gift or I had already bought one I would have just replied that I had already organised something but thanks for the offer, there was no need to give a mini lecture on wheather it was inappropriate or not, it is up to the individual parent to decide which way they want to go. I dont believe in nitpicking with my childrens teachers over the small stuff, there may be more serious topics that you need to discuss in future and you wont do your self any favours by complaining about something that really does not affect you much. I dont mean to sound harsh and I do understand your point of view you are thinking of others who cannot afford to give and that is really considerate, but as this doesnt affect you I would advise you to stay out of it. I know of numerous national schools where some parents are constantly at odds with the teachers over the most unbelievable nonsense and it only leads to bad feeling.

anamcarame

You are so right.

My rant is over now and I had decided to just look after us. Leave them to their own arrangements as it doe not affect us.

carolinespring

I run a childcare service and last year and this year we sent home a letter asking for no gifts just a homemade care, this was done after talking to the staff and a 100% agreement but most of the parents last year still took in gifts for all the staff.

One of my friends who teaches in the local NS loves the teacher gifts as last year she got almost 700 euro in gife vouchers from children/parents plus chocs, flowers etc. CRAZY really. It ends up the same in our place and a note has gone up saying that if they really want to that they can give our name to the ST V DeP.

I have to say I do love to see homemade cakes, buns and sweets coming in as everyone loves them at break but with all the stress on families now, gives to childcare services/teachers should not be happening.

Homemade card and buns, great gift!!

astra2000

anamcarame wrote: »

You are so right.

My rant is over now and I had decided to just look after us. Leave them to their own arrangements as it doe not affect us.

Just had a quick reread of my post (wrote it in a hurry) and it did sound harsh sorry for that didnt intend it too I realise you are only thinking of others:). I still believe you would do the best thing to stay out of it though, I learned the hard way through been on a playschool committee, you can end up been drawn into the silliest of arguements that have no real bearing on your childs education its definetly not worth it. I have to admit I like to get something small just to let the teachers know they are appreciated, but as the above poster said I know my kids teachers are as delighted with the homemade card as much as the larger gifts, I suppose we are all the same its nice to feel appreciated.

r3nu4l

Ugh! I hate the thoughts of this present-for-the-teacher lark.

Yes, let the kids make some Christmas tree decorations out of glitter glue, tinfoil and cereal boxes to give to the teacher, or let them knit a scarf for him/her if they are slightly older, maybe even buy something from the €2 shop but no way in hell should parents be clubbing together in even the best economic climate to buy the teacher a present up to €200. Madness.

When my child goes to school I'll be having a long conversation with the principal about these sorts of activities. Any teacher receiving such a gift should be forced to give it to a suitable charity. The charities could then raffle off such gifts or replace them for cash from shops etc.

randylonghorn

Okay ... from someone whose mother was a primary school teacher and principal in a rural school.

She would have hated the idea of parents doing a collection for a Christmas present. Being a blunt and sometimes undiplomatic woman, she would probably have intervened to stop it, and she would have caused offence and resentment, as happened once or twice with other similar things ... but she definitely would have hated it.

On the other hand, she loved her Christmas presents *from the kids*. Every year, lopsided homemade cards got pride of place on the Christmas tree. The more difficult the kid, and the more lopsided the card, the more they were put in pride of place, and (bored!) visitors to the house got the grand tour!

She was an animal-lover, and apart from teaching ran what was unofficially the local refuge for stray animals. Her nickname among the older kids for years after the film came out was Dr. Dolittle, something she was well aware of and enjoyed. As a result, every year, the house was flooded with fluffy kittens and cheekily grinning puppies from the pound shop, and every one of them gave her pleasure and found a home on shelves and in the oddest of corners in the house, only to be eventually displaced by next year's batch (but never thrown out ... sacrilege!!). We still have presses full of them, and despite the fact that she died a few years ago, we haven't had the heart to throw them out either. On a similar note, another gift that always gave her pleasure was a receipt / record of a small donation to the ISPCA.

On a more idiosyncratic level, other gifts which I remember being greeted with great appreciation:

- a small homemade Christmas pudding every year from a family whose six kids she taught over the years ... plenty for us, I was the only one who liked it enough to eat it except on Christmas day itself. My mother could bake soda bread and apple tarts to make your mouth water, but Christmas puddings or fruit cakes defeated her completely ... the results tended to be more suitable to the building trade than to the table! The year the last of those kids had finished up and left, I remember her look of confusion when the Christmas pudding arrived anyway, and (being her!) she asked "why?". The answer? ... "Áine, I make six huge puddings every year for various members of family. One small extra one for ye is no trouble ... and the look of absolute relief on your face every year is more than worth it!" What could she do but laugh?

- Bunches of holly with berries, something she loved to have in the house at Christmas.

- Brown bread! Something which she loved, but again, didn't have the knack for. A regular gift at Christmas, at station time, or if she happened to let slip that we were due visitors, and which she cherished like gold, and guarded with a jealous eye. Of course, she tended to repay the gifts in apple tarts when like occasions arose, but she never saw it that way.

- A pack of a half-dozen squeaky chew toys. No, not for her, for the dogs! I think we had 4 at the time. A mixed blessing tbh ... 4 dogs all squeaking at once, and squabbling over ownership, soon palled ... but the thought was appreciated.

- A lurid green and quite evil-looking home-made angel for the top of the Christmas tree. Even she gave that one the odd puzzled look, but it adorned the top of the Christmas tree for years afterwards anyway. No idea what happened to it, I quite miss it!

These gifts gave her great pleasure, because they were personal and they were thoughtful and they gave the kids great pleasure to choose or make and give.

A voucher for some store, no matter how many hundred euro? I think she would have cried with disappointment, tbh.

But sadly, this is the way our materialistic society has gone.

anamcarame wrote: »

I think I may call the principal again and suggest that no collections take place and it is small gifts only but then again it fell on deaf ears before. What do other schools do? Am I just ranting?

r3nu4l wrote: »

When my child goes to school I'll be having a long conversation with the principal about these sorts of activities. Any teacher receiving such a gift should be forced to give it to a suitable charity. The charities could then raffle off such gifts or replace them for cash from shops etc.

In fairness, you're both starting from the wrong end.

This is something which has arisen from parents, not teachers, and while there may be a few teachers who relish it, I doubt that many do.

Somewhere along the line, a parent thinks "it's too much trouble to sit with little Johnny / Mary and make a homemade card, or think about what would make a thoughtful small personal gift for his teacher. Let's all throw in a fiver, and it's out of the way. I'll organise it, I like doing things like that ..." and the rot sets in.

And if the teacher says "please don't!" it's "who does she think she is?! How fecking ungrateful!! After all my trouble!!" and there is resentment and hurt feelings.

By all means, don't get involved. I wouldn't. Do your own thing, sit down with your child and make a home-made card or a lurid green angel!

But don't blame the teacher or put them in an impossible position between disagreeing parents. That's not much of a Christmas gift, is it?

deisemum

randylonghorn what a lovely post.

I attended primary school in the late 60's/early 70's. It was a small country school with an average of 60 pupils and 2 teachers. Most were from large families so there could have been 5 or 6 pupils from some families going through the school at any one time.

My memory of present giving was the pupils gave homemade cards and the farming parents generally gave produce (free range and more than likely organic) from their farms such as a sack of potatoes, a goose/turkey, ham, beef, eggs, vegetables, homemade plum puddings, cakes, biscuits, jams, relishes, firewood etc. I know some women were great at knitting and would knit jumpers or cardigans for the teachers or their children.

My mother in law was a teacher and generally had around 39 pupils in her class. She used to get about 38 boxes of chocolates and 1 pupil gave a couple of golf balls. His mother was also a teacher and knew my mother in law played golf. My mother in law prefered the golf balls.

I know when my children were giving christmas presents there were certain years where certain presents dominated ie the year of the candle when most pupils brought in candles.

I was never a fan of the class collections unless it was a one off such as the teacher getting married. I know when mine were in the younger classes they got great delight in going in and personally handing over their present to the teacher.

cynder

I always give the teachers a candle or an xmas decoration, this year between my 3 kids i have:

11 year old teacher + her personal sna + the other sna in the class
5 year old teacher + sna (no his sna)
4 year old 2 pre school teachers + part time pre school teacher + his sna.

that's 9 presents!

I was in debenhams and came across a candle gift set 1/2 price with 7 candles in it so i am wrapping each one individually and giving them to the teachers/sna's as presents i then have 2 other presents to get.

littlebitdull

I look at present giving as something I want to do. So when it comes to christmas I often make up a small gift for my child to give to their teacher. Just the same way as I will make up small gifts for neighbours, friends, family members.

I dont get involved in collections for christmas gifts - especially where there is a set amount being 'charged'. And I dont give teachers gifts at the end of the school year, after all they are doing a job and getting paid for it, no need to give a gift for that!

Christmas to me is a time for giving - because I enjoy giving presents. I give to people I like - I dont give out of some sense of obligation. Which has meant in past years when my children have had horrible teachers I did not give gifts !

morobar

randylonghorn, that was a lovely post.

Plus I also agree with the fact that it's being approached from the wrong angle. The present giving does not start with the teacher but the parents/children. I teach 37 kids and maybe half the parents give presents, most give cards. I definitely do not hold it against any child who doesn't bring me a present because that's not why I do the job I do.

The cards take pride of place on my mantlepiece, particularly the handmade ones. I have never once asked for a present from a child or parent. We're not in the habit of receiving vouchers/combined collections for Christmas etc.... I would be mortified if this happened in my school.

Best gift I ever got was a toolbox decoration from a child who was nuts about construction/building when he was in my 2nd class. That was about 4 years ago and now he's in 6th and that decoration will always make me think of him and the funny stories he came out with.

ArtSmart

anamcarame wrote: »

The replay was quick and sharp telling me that she was grateful for my input!!

I think I may call the principal again and suggest that no collections take place and it is small gifts only but then again it fell on deaf ears before. What do other schools do? Am I just ranting?[/QUOTE]

Yes. and no. unless a teacher rings you, it's all nonsense. some parents are crazy, utterly crazy. rest assured no sane teacher want to impoverish their students parents. it's to aid the kids sense of giving as the principal said.

unless this thread is a sidesway slap at primary teachers...?

queensinead

ArtSmart wrote: »

anamcarame wrote: »

The replay was quick and sharp telling me that she was grateful for my input!!

I think I may call the principal again and suggest that no collections take place and it is small gifts only but then again it fell on deaf ears before. What do other schools do? Am I just ranting?[/QUOTE]

Yes. and no. unless a teacher rings you, it's all nonsense. some parents are crazy, utterly crazy. rest assured no sane teacher want to impoverish their students parents. it's to aid the kids sense of giving as the principal said.

unless this thread is a sidesway slap at primary teachers...?

Agree with this sensible post. Teachers I know ask their students not to give gifts. Why would anyone want gifts from families under pressure?

But there is tension and hostility, unfortunately, in the ralationship some parents have with their childs' teachers and carers. There is oneupmanship as well. And power games. I know one woman who gave her au pair an expensive gift, but insisted the au pair take back the gift she had given to the mother: "You can't afford that, dear. Save your money". The au pair was hurt, and felt she was being put in her place.
So giving gifts can be about power and hierarchy too...

Passing through an affluent Dublin suburb just before last Christmas, I saw a line (about twenty) bottles of wine left on the pavement beside the lollipop lady. Aggressive mummies were backing and turning their SUVs and shouting at other motorists to get out of their way. The atmosphere was not what you would call full of Christmas cheer.....subconscious resentment perhaps?
One can only imagine the presents that were being given to the teachers.
Wisely the teachers prefer not to play their expected role in the little Yuletide psychodrama

Hopefully, they will just say thanks to the children and leave it at that.

Sharpshooter

anamcarame wrote: »

Its that time of year again. I have 2 kids in the same school national school and every Christmas they pick (and I buy) a little gift for their teacher. They make a Christmas card with their own special message and give it to the teacher themselves. Some of the parent club together and get a gift. when this was suggested last year and I got the text about donating a a fiver or more I suggested that in light of the current economic climate and the fact that some of the parents had lost their jobs that maybe a donation to charity by the children would be a good idea. They could do a whole school effort and put the little gifts into this instead. I also rang the principal about it and she said she would put it to the teachers but that it was unfair as the kids like to bring a present to their teacher. She never got back to me so I assumed that they were happy enough with the way it was and while a lot of other national schools had stopped the teacher gift idea as they felt it was inappropriate they continues it.

Today I just got a text from a parent asking for a donation of a fiver or a tenner for a gift for the teacher. I feel this is completely wrong. Fro a start this is not a gift from the kids at all and it is no wonder the teachers are not prepared to give up their gifts when they are all amalgamated into a €200 odd voucher!!
I have texted the parent involved to say we are not donating as we do our own small gift of gratitude and that maybe a collection was inappropriate considering the teachers are in secure well paid jobs and that the need is back to basics here. Let the kids give a little homemade gift or small bought gift but not a parental collective christmas bonus.

The replay was quick and sharp telling me that she was grateful for my input!!

I think I may call the principal again and suggest that no collections take place and it is small gifts only but then again it fell on deaf ears before. What do other schools do? Am I just ranting?

astra2000 wrote: »

Hi I would not reccommend ringing the principal, just do your own thing and leave others to do the same. If I was asked to donate to a collection and I had already decided not to give a gift or I had already bought one I would have just replied that I had already organised something but thanks for the offer, there was no need to give a mini lecture on wheather it was inappropriate or not, it is up to the individual parent to decide which way they want to go. I dont believe in nitpicking with my childrens teachers over the small stuff, there may be more serious topics that you need to discuss in future and you wont do your self any favours by complaining about something that really does not affect you much. I dont mean to sound harsh and I do understand your point of view you are thinking of others who cannot afford to give and that is really considerate, but as this doesnt affect you I would advise you to stay out of it. I know of numerous national schools where some parents are constantly at odds with the teachers over the most unbelievable nonsense and it only leads to bad feeling.

anamcarame wrote: »

You are so right.

My rant is over now and I had decided to just look after us. Leave them to their own arrangements as it doe not affect us.

My rant is over now

This is not our typical Christmas thread OP.

The forum is more a celebration of Christmas than a discussion about what annoys you.

I am going to close this thread now as replies like this:

unless this thread is a sidesway slap at primary teachers...?

can bring your thread off topic.

You can of course post your thread in R&R or in AHs as it is now accepting Christmas threads.

Thanks to everyone who contributed with helpful replies.:)