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Boyfriend says I'm more fun when drunk

  • 07-12-2010 10:49AM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi there,

    I was just wondering about people's perspectives on this? I used to be quite a heavy drinker, and my boyfriend and I would go out on absolute benders. But we would fight about stupid things and treat each other very hurtfully and in ways we never would when sober. The stupidest side of this is that often I would wake up unable to remember what exactly we fought about or why I felt so angry. Hence, I decided to cut back and told my boyfriend about my reasoning, including the fact that financially I just can't justify spending that amount of money on alcohol anymore, and that I wanted to improve my health a bit (couldn't stand the hangovers).

    He was relatively supportive- didn't push booze on me and gradually stopped acting so surprised every time I turned down a drink. The other night however he'd had a couple and we were having a laugh (or so I thought) when he said that he wished I was drinking that night. He said that it would feel more like he had a partner "in fun" that night and also would feel less silly being a drunk eejit himself.

    I can understand how he feels to be honest. As hurtful as I was to hear that he has less fun with me when I'm not pissed, I've been in the position before when you feel a bit "on yer own". And in fairness the girl he originally got involved with was one willing to go out and go a bit mad with him, but now of course I'm changing my tune.

    Have any other people experienced this reaction when cutting back on alcohol? How have you dealt with it? I've thought about compromising slightly, not drinking for the most part and then having a couple with him on big nights out; birthdays, new years etc. I don't want to be a downer, but at the same time I don't want and I worry that fun times with me for my boyfriend requires drink.


Comments

  • #2
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Simple answer might just be he is jealous that you have been able to stop and he has not.
    I do hope you spoke to him about this when he was sober and let him know you were not impressed at this "weak" guilt trip by him. Either he is with you for who you are and can accept your changes or not - and in that case you both need to move on...


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