Weird Friend

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

Just looking for a bit of input here;
I went to college with a girl and became good friends with her. After college she had a job in close proximity to mine and we would meet up at least once a week, text regularly etc. After 6 months her job required her to move away for a while but she was in contact for the first couple of weeks. After that I would text her with no replies, email her with no replies, leave messages on facebook...you get the picture.

She has been out and about in the area a few times without ever contacting me or two other friends in the area (she was spotted by the friends). Now she is moving back near me again which i found out from a 3rd party.

Essentially I want to know how to act around her now that she's going to be back for good.
Like nothing happened? Like I don't know her? Confront the issue?

Reply quick! I don't know when I'll see her!!!

Katgurl

Do you want to be friends with her again?

If not, be civil and short.

If yes, act initially like nothing happened when you see her, just behave happy to see her and tell her you're glad she's back. If all goes well and her reaction is positive ask her next time you see her what went wrong ie "I don't understand, we were good friends, did I upset you in some way?" you'll either get an answer or it could well transpire that she's just that sort of out-of-sight-out-of-mind friend. They do exist!

Finally if you do want to be friends but she clearly doesn't you can decide you can't be bothered with someone who could cut you off with no explanation or you could write her a letter detailing your confusion. I don't think I'd be bothered though.

Good luck

whatsamsn

Either you said or did something inadvertently or:

She was just using you. You werent really a friend in her eyes. She had a use for you when she was living in your area. But as soon as she moved she didnt need you no more. Hence why the calls, emails etc got unanswered.

What should you do if you knowing shes back?
Dont go out of your way to talk to her. Shes the one who ignored you. If you wanna be friendly say hi if she does it first. But be wary, shes still the same person who basically told you to get lost when she was moved away.

LegacyUser

Been there. Was best pals with this girl in college, literally from the day we graduated she had nothing more to do with me, or with anyone else from the course. Texts, calls, invites, all went unanswered. She returned to her own circle of friends from home& other than the odd sighting, has made no effort to contact us. We've given up trying, 5years down the line.
I wouldn't take it personally. Some people are true friends, others are just users. Others have said to me "well that's just Mary is"- that's as may be, but I don't find it acceptable.
On the rare occasion I see her now, I politely say hello, stop for the cursory platitudes (no more than that)....and then I walk on. I'd advise you to do likewise, then everyone knows where they stand.