What if it starts again?

LegacyUser

Please can somebody help me?

I had a very traumatic childhood and I wet the bed regularly into my teens. I used fall into a sleep so deep I didn't even wake up and discover my accident till the morning. It put tremendous strain on my mother with the laundry and my father behaved towards me with contempt. The worst thin was the pleading, reasoning, threats if I didn't stop - but I had absolutely no control, I never stirred. I spent most days scheming to conceal and panic- stricken should I be caught. When my parents finally separated it was worse, the weekends I spent trying to avoid my father finding out were nothin short of a nightmare.

When I hit puberty it dramatically reduced but I still had sporadic accidents, particularly around my periods.

By the time I hit my 20s it had stopped entirely but then I entered an awful abusive relationship with a bully of a man and it started again, usually when I'd been drinking.

I've left that relationship but I live in fear of it starting again. My horrible ex did tell my family in a letter intended to humiliate me - he claimed it was nothing but booze. My family, mortified for me I'm sure never mentioned it to me. I'm pretty sure he's told others, friends of mine who are disgusted with his indiscretion but didn't go into details with me of what he said.

I don't really know what I want here. There is nothing physically wrong with me and I've gone through the painful process of therapy to find out how I wound up in a relationship so toxic.

I suppose I am really afraid of ever being so heavily involved with anyone again that they would find out about my problem or even that my problem will come back.

cafecolour

AshamedWoman wrote: »

By the time I hit my 20s it had stopped entirely but then I entered an awful abusive relationship with a bully of a man and it started again, usually when I'd been drinking.

....

I suppose I am really afraid of ever being so heavily involved with anyone again that they would find out about my problem or even that my problem will come back.

Well, from the sound of it, avoid getting in another abusive relationship (recommended in general), and avoid drinking heavily, and you will be fine.

Really, I think as long as you are involved in a normal, loving relationship it will be fine. I don't think you have anything to worry about, besides make sure you don't repeat your prior choice in a boyfriend.

astra2000

Hi op my first bit of advice to you would be to stop worrying if this happens again deal with it then, dont allow something that may never happen to overshadow your life. Bedwetting is much more common than you realise. A few years ago after been toilet trainedfor nearly 2 my then almost 4yr started bed wetting, it turned out that she was so tired out by playschool and not having her daily nap that she was just not waking when she needed to go, in her case an earlier bed time was the solution. When I spoke to our gp I was amazed when he told me the amount of teens who still bed wet it was something like one in ten! He assured me there was treatment to help should my daughter have continued to have a problem. Speak with your gp ask for a referral if you get no help.
If you begin a new relationship dont get overwrought worrying about this take it one day at a time, you could even try using an alarm clock to wake you in the middle of the night which may help also not to have any liquids after a certain time would be another idea. There are lots of web sites designated to helping people with bed wetting maybe you could take a look and get some ideas.
I wish you the best of luck