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Insecure + male attention

  • 04-12-2010 8:21pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi guys,

    Please bear with me, this is probably a weird one. I'm not quite sure how to put it into words.

    I'm a mid twenties female, pretty girl I guess, though nothing special. Major body image issues and reckon I'm on the curvy side, though definitely not hugely overweight or anything. About a size ten - twelve, though petite in height, sallow, dark hair, green eyes.

    Like any girl my age, I get checked out regularly, as do I check out the opposite sex myself regularly. I have a high sex drive, healthy attitude towards sex, but recently am finding it increasingly uncomfortable to be the subject of stares, second glances etc from men.

    Please know that I am not 'up myself'...the opposite in fact, and figure this must be the reason why it makes me so self conscious. I am constantly fretting about my weight, how I look etc so I guess the fact that I get looked at, sometimes intensely, sometimes twice etc, by strangers...slightly freaks me out. Maybe I feel judged or something...it sort of unsettles me.

    I should say that I've recently moved abroad, where men seem to do this a LOT more than Irish guys. Staring seems to be done on a different level over here, to the point where you're on the subway, walking down the street etc and the person walking towards you/sitting across from you nearly stares you down, doesn't look away...so maybe that's it too...maybe I just need to get used to it.

    I can't stress enough that I am no big stunner or anything, I'd say I'm your average pretty girl, I make an effort with my clothes and makeup and don't dress like a hooker or anything...ever, for the record!

    I guess I'm just wondering if there are any other girls out there who have dealt with these feelings, or have overcome them? Or even just a bit of outside perspective, from either sex.

    Thanks for reading.

    R


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi, I am a good bit older than you, considered good looking by others, I see that I am not ugly but cannot see what others seem to, i.e. always being told I'm stunning. (again, not up my own @rse or anything).
    Sometimes when I'm out I feel super confident and get looks and give looks, and am happy. However, there are times when I'm out and don't feel too confident, having a fat-day or just not happy with my selected outfit or hair went wrong or not happy with eye make up or whatever, and it has an effect on me in that if I get looks or someone stares, I think its because of the bad hair, makeup or feel I am huge... when its probably the same as other nights but because of my insecurities I deal with it in a totally different way.

    You are probaby receiving the same looks as before but I have found (over the long years!) that non-Irish guys will look, smile, look again, and approach, we are just not used to that here where its all hard-work and nobody approaches til the end of the night when there's too much booze on board...

    Enjoy the attention. Be cautious but enjoy it.


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