Nerves...erection problems...IBS...argghhhh

LegacyUser

Going unreg cos frankly this is incredibly embarrassing and frustrating. I'm having erection problems. I get very nervous when I'm with a girl---just last night we curled up and it was lovely, but my heart was punching my chest, and it just wouldn't happen for me.

I've asked my GP about it before. he's attributed it to stress, anxiety, and recommended I exercise. I've since started exercises, I eat very healthily, and I've been a lot more positive, yet when it comes to the crunch, the little feller fails to kick in like he should.

I've used herbal erection pills before and yes they work a treat...except they cause massive headaches, nausea and pounding heart. I would never recommend them.

I suffer with IBS, and I think this is the root cause of the problem. IBS is commonly believed to be associated with stress, although there are no certifiable reasons or solutions.

So basically I've iregular bowel movements, cramps, exhaustion, peak-trough appetite, and now impotence.

It's genuinely devastating. I try my best. In the moments, I stop overthinking, I relax...but all the while the heart goes wild (too fast, not just simple excitement) and there's little to no activity down there. When it does work, I'm so worried about losign the firmness that the worrying itself seems to kill it.

I've read posts from other guys with similar problems.

I wonder does anyone have any personal recommendations re: easing IBS and possibly therefore enhancing my chances of keeping a boner for more than a few minutes?

Not looking for medical advice as frankly my trips to the doctor have solved nothing. Just looking for any tips from anyone who's overcome this terrible problem.

Kimia

You poor thing OP that sounds dreadful. I can imagine that it's a circle and it's hard to figure out how to put an end to it. I have IBS too and I haven't been able to ease it much, I get horrific pains in my stomach when I'm nervous or stressed myself, it's awful. What I find helps the root problem is meditation and reading self-help books. It's a slow process though.

Do you have a girlfriend? You didn't mention if it was a long-term thing or a ons. A girlfriend who you can discuss it with may ease things. If you don't put any pressure on yourself you may find it happening naturally the more comfortable you feel with her. Also do you find that you have problems when you're by yourself? Or is it just performance anxiety related?

LegacyUser

Kimia wrote: »

You poor thing OP that sounds dreadful. I can imagine that it's a circle and it's hard to figure out how to put an end to it. I have IBS too and I haven't been able to ease it much, I get horrific pains in my stomach when I'm nervous or stressed myself, it's awful. What I find helps the root problem is meditation and reading self-help books. It's a slow process though.

Do you have a girlfriend? You didn't mention if it was a long-term thing or a ons. A girlfriend who you can discuss it with may ease things. If you don't put any pressure on yourself you may find it happening naturally the more comfortable you feel with her. Also do you find that you have problems when you're by yourself? Or is it just performance anxiety related?

No I'm a single dad getting back into the dating game. I've always had performance anxiety issues, but I've overcome them with simply relaxing and enjoying myself...but the IBS has gotten stradily worse and left me limp.

I do have problems by myself too. Again usually related to whether my stomach is upset or if I'm feeling constipated (apologies for the graphic info but I really am upset about all of this)

Kimia

In that case OP I'd say you're in need of a visit to the GP. If it was purely psychological then I would assume you'd be ok on your own but the fact that you're not indicates that you may need to get medical advice on it. Have you tried that yet? Even just for the IBS?

If so, try reading or downloading a few self-help books or trying some meditation. Maybe you need to practice how to calm yourself down when you get extremely agitated (racing heart etc). Might help?

Edit: Sorry OP i just saw that you have been to the doc already. Maybe you need to go back for a second visit or get another opinion? I mean - exercising is great but if it's not working you're kind of back to the drawing board.

What about hypnotherapy? Relaxation exercises, that sort of thing?

LegacyUser

Kimia wrote: »

In that case OP I'd say you're in need of a visit to the GP. If it was purely psychological then I would assume you'd be ok on your own but the fact that you're not indicates that you may need to get medical advice on it. Have you tried that yet? Even just for the IBS?

If so, try reading or downloading a few self-help books or trying some meditation. Maybe you need to practice how to calm yourself down when you get extremely agitated (racing heart etc). Might help?

Edit: Sorry OP i just saw that you have been to the doc already. Maybe you need to go back for a second visit or get another opinion? I mean - exercising is great but if it's not working you're kind of back to the drawing board.

What about hypnotherapy? Relaxation exercises, that sort of thing?

Are there any books you'd recommend?

Doc said Colpermin tablets can help eith IBS, and they do sometimes, other times no effect.

Re: hypno therapy, relaxation exercises...never tried them but I'd be open to anything.

I've been to CBT counselling which has helped somewhat with my nervousness, but not enough to help me stave off the close-to-panic attacks I get when I feel like I'm going to fail (sex, public speaking, anything with a certain level of "performance" really).

Pathetic I know.

LegacyUser

Hi OP

I just thought that I'd give you a little advice regarding your IBS suffering, and this is from personal experience. I would strongly recommend that you eliminate gluten and possibly wheat from your diet. I suffered from IBS for years and attended the doctor with no relief. I lost a huge amount of weight and was very sickly. When I went gluten-free I got better within days!! I'm serious, days!!
Please give it ago, you'd be surprised.

Kimia

Colpermin helps me, along with following a low carb diet and drinking mint tea a lot. The hot water helps a lot.

There's so many self-help books that it would be difficult to recommend - they all seem very similar anyway. Have a look on amazon and read the reviews - you might find someone like yourself who found something that works for them.

How about examining why you are so afraid of failing? Literally go through step by step the worst case scenarios of things and see if you can deal with the worst possible outcomes (you can of course, everyone can). If you do it that way, you can see how failing isn't really a big deal because you can handle it.

For example, with me, let's say I'm afraid of doing badly in a presentation at work. I could shake and freak out with anxiety, or I could sit down and go through possible scenarios - and how I woudl handle the very worst. So let's say the worst case is that I freak out during the presentation and go blank, and then can't think of how to get back to my place, in front of everyone. That's literally the worst thing that can happen.

What I'd do in that situation is take a deep breath, apologise, and start again. People aren't naturally mean (I think), they'll be rooting for me, so I would be able to start again.

If you put a contingency plan in place for your worst case scenarios, it might make it easier for you to deal with stuff that happens that aren't that bad?