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problems getting it up?

  • 04-12-2010 10:23am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,
    Recently started seeing a nice guy, cute, great personality, and generally a nice guy.
    Took it to the next level recently, both very turned on, lots of foreplay, he was VERY good at all aspects of foreplay, it was very hot.

    but....

    The sex was a bit...dunno.... The first time was good, but VERY quick, probably a few minutes and he came.
    Second time was a bit of a disaster, he kind of got soft after a few minutes, got frustrated, and then sort of thrusted wildly for a few minutes and then came. I didn't get much out of either to be honest.
    He says he likes me and is attracted to me, so it's not that he isn't sexually attracted to me. (I hope!!)

    I am looking for advice about what to do, as I'm seeing him again after work on Tuesday, and things might get to that stage again.
    How should I deal with it? Stop him and get him going again?

    Any other comments, advice??


Comments

  • #2
    Shiny
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,259 ✭✭✭Shiny


    Was alcohol consumed ?


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Shiny,

    Yes alcohol was consumed on the night, but I suppose the next morning we were fairly sober? If a little hungover.

    Looking at the title of this thread, I guess getting it up is not the problem, it's keeping it up that seems to be the issue here. As soon as we were getting down with sex he started to go soft, which doesn't make much sense does it?


  • #4
    miec
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭miec


    Hi Op

    I'd say it was pure nerves, you'd be suprised how many men can be affected in this way. Be gentle with him, I've realised that sex is often very nerve wracking for men as so much is expected of them. Also early sex can often be awkward and you don't know each other etc. When you are outside of bed ask him does he feel nervous. Men tend to really beat themselves up when things go wrong and they can be incredibly sensitive on this issue. Also reassure him how much you enjoy his foreplay, that will help boost his confidence, I think it can a bit of time to build up longer lasting sex, once they feel comfortable.


  • #5
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    OP this is really common, so don't worry about it at all. Firstly a lot of guys have problems with erections (especially keeping one) when they drink alcohol so it could be as simple as that.

    Or as has been mentioned, it can be nerves. That has happened me once in the past and it definitely was not because of any attraction issues. If anything I was too attracted to her. So I would advise you to slow it down next time and not to put any pressure on a particular outcome. Just enjoy each other!

    And you seem more worried that he could not stay erect, that is also pretty common. So don't worry about it. Practice makes perfect!


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