anyone have cv writing experience

alanhiggyno1

hi people dont know if have right room so im asking does anybody have experience of writing cv or good at lying on one as im trying to write a cv now..if anybody has a fake one i could look at would be just great..any help would be great.thanks

alwaysadub

Er, don't lie too much on your CV.
it'll come back to bite you on the arse!

Danbo!

Just tell them your name is Alan Higgy and you're No.1.

They'd be stupid not to hire you.

SeaFields

Just goggle it. There'll be plenty of examples up there and don't lie either.

alanhiggyno1

they know that already..anyone have a good cv

tommyhaas

anyone have cv writing experience

Probably half the country the way things are going

DrumSteve

dont need no cv for the dole...

alanhiggyno1

just honest answers plz...anybody know of good cv..im not spending 50 quid for someone to write another for me

alwaysadub

alanhiggyno1 wrote: »

they know that already..anyone have a good cv

Yeah,hold on there and i'll send you mine.
I'll stick my bank details at the bottom of it too

alanhiggyno1

put ur wifes number there aswell too....

alwaysadub

I've a wife?!

When did i turn gay:eek:

EverEvolving

There are a lot of good suggestions on this forum

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=10

Good Luck, you would nearly need a gold plated cv to get a job nowadays

Delirium

alanhiggyno1 wrote: »

hi people dont know if have right room so im asking does anybody have experience of writing cv or good at lying on one as im trying to write a cv now..if anybody has a fake one i could look at would be just great..any help would be great.thanks

A rough draft of a CV for ya.

NAME: alanhiggyno1.

SEX:Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION:Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESI RED SALARY:€100,000 a year plus stock options. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION:Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD:Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY:Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’ notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:It sucked.

AVAILABLE FOR WORK:Of course. That’s why I’m applying.

PREFERRED HOURS:1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LI FTI NG UPTO 50lbs?:50lbs. of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

DO YOU SMOKE?:On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LI KE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE:Aries .

There ya go, hope that helps:P

biko

EverEvolving wrote: »

There are a lot of good suggestions on this forum

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=10

Good Luck, you would nearly need a gold plated cv to get a job nowadays

Use this forum OP, good luck.