anxiety, how to get past it

LegacyUser

I've suffered from some kind of anxiety most of my life, I've always been very very nervous around people, found it hard to make friends etc. I had thought that I'd gotten a lot better as I got older but I've come to realise that while I have gotten somewhat better mostly I've gotten very good at avoiding situations that might make me anxious. Added to that is that in the last year a sibling died tragically and so very unexpectedly and since then things have changed for the worse.

I've always been shy and found it hard to make conversation with people but it's getting to the stage that, even in the company of my friends, I can't talk (as in physically open my mouth and speak) it's like there's nothing in my head to come out of my mouth. I'm starting to be really worried that I am going to end up on my own because I can't relax around people and I make them very uncomfortable. This happens with people I work with as well.

My anxiety makes me panicky and this tends to lead to me getting angry in really silly situations or doing really stupid things (like worrying when I cook that things are going to be over/undercooked and grabbing them out of the oven too quickly, burning the heck out of my hands, I'm plastered in small burns or only hanging out with friends in groups of 3 because I can't cope with 1-to-1 with most people. Then also not being able to be in large groups. I am such a pain in the arse to be friends with).

I really just want to be shot of this, it's affecting every area of my life from my friendships to my education (dropped out of college because classes and asking questions made me panicky) to my career. How do people get to the other side? As well as that social anxiety was a large factor in the death of my sibling and I really feel that I would be doing their memory a huge diservice if I didn't make an effort to get a handle on this.

I've considered going to the Doctor but I don't really want to try medication (addiction issues run in my family) and also because I don't actually have a doctor, I don't get sick. Can you just walk into a doctors you've never been to and ask for help with a head issue? What could they actually do if I did go? I've tried all sorts of stuff to just snap out of it, I'm totally aware that I'm being ridiculous when I start freaking out but it's like I just can't turn it off. Gah. (and thanks for reading this far, I waffled on an awful, awful lot)

LegacyUser

Hi,

I definitely think you should go to your doctor about this. Don't worry about taking medication, if you choose not to then it is entirely your own choice on the matter and the GP can't make you do so, they will have to give you another option. <snip> it's important that you get some help, especially as it seems to be really causing you to suffer. This sort or extreme anxiety isn't unusual and you can get through it, I used to be very socially anxious also and it does gradually get better, but think it would be of great help for you to get support from a doctor or counsellor on the matter. I know you may be nervous to go but maybe you could get someone you trust to go with you the first few times until you feel comfortable?

Just remember that what your feeling are just emotions, it is not a part of who you are, its just like having a cold or a stomachache, its just an illness in your mind which can be cured with time...i suffer from depression and always try to remember that on my bad days

Absolute best of luck.

Johnny Bitte

Ok,
You are not alone in this and people want to help you.

Have you talked to any family members or your friends about this? It really can help.

Get yourself to a GP. Anyone close by will do and ask to be a patient. If they can great if not onto the next one.
Explain to the GP you do not want to take any addictive drugs, period.
I am on one that is not addictive and only affects the nervous system or no drugs at all if you can manage that.
Then ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. This is expensive but from what you are saying there seems to be some underlying problem making you anxious and until that is dealt with you will just keep getting worse. This is exactly what happened to me but I waited 10 years before trying it.

If that doesn't help at all then back to the GP or you could try holistic approaches, hypnotherapy, Cognitive behavior therapy.

hopes this helps!

jdivision

Go to the GP and explain. I wish I'd done it ages ago.

LegacyUser

Hey there,

I am/ was the same in that sense. Always a nervous person, but generally pretty sociable. Certain things would make me very anxious, particularly health issues, traveling far from home etc. We use words like 'social anxiety' to give us more scope in therapy, but really anxiety just manifests in that way for you. It's the same reaction, but it's a different trigger. Your phobia is treatable and can be done without medication. Psychiatrists (I've heard) are more inclined to dose you up with anti-depressants. If you go to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist you will learn how to challenge your anxious thoughts and behaviour. It could take up to a year, but you should see some good results early on!