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I am confused

  • 30-11-2010 11:55am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,
    I have a little problem and I am so confused. I am 23 and she is 27. I accept I was childish and it was my first proper relationship. Like any relationship, it starts great and it dies off.

    My ex broke up with me couple of months ago after a 4 year relationship. We have a 3 year old son together. We also decided to move away from each other because I she isn’t happy and because I treated her bad. She also told me that now that I am trying my best, it’s too late.

    Few months past, we still meet up and chat like good friends. I see my son regularly and still have sex once in a while together. I also gave her space, taking my son when I know she wants to go out and party.

    I asked her if we were going to get back together and she keeps saying she doesn’t know. I am so confused. I tell her I love her, she never replied.
    Few weeks ago I meet a different girl and we get on great. I told her everything and she seemed ok with it. She also knows I still have feelings for my ex. At the moment we just meet and chat and recently we slept together.

    I and my ex are open with each other about everything. My ex told me one of my friend kissed her and that she liked one guy but he is too young and nothing will happen. The next day I told her I slept with someone else. She went crazy. She told me she still cares. Even though I have asked her time and time again to be with me and she says she doesn’t know what she wants.

    I am so lost, I love this woman but I don’t know where things are going with her. She doesn’t know what she wants, any advice?


Comments

  • #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Cut contact with her, don't meet up for coffee.
    Let her feel the lack of you in her life and make up her mind and in the mean time move on with your own life.


  • #3
    james.xix
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 180 ✭✭james.xix


    Thaedydal wrote: »
    Cut contact with her, don't meet up for coffee.
    Let her feel the lack of you in her life and make up her mind and in the mean time move on with your own life.

    Good advice really, I can only back this up. You have done more than enough. Get on with your own life. You cannot hang around waiting for her. I myself, I don't think it's entirely a good idea to be telling your ex about what you are getting up to but that's me.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks guys.

    Is just thant now she is saying she really cares and jealous. The problem is she isn't saying if we are getting back togather or not. I guess I have to move on until she decided.


  • #5
    StillWaters
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,799 ✭✭✭StillWaters


    You can't cut contact. You will always have have a tie through your son.

    You need to work on establishing firm boundaries, and separating your relationship as parents, from your love relationship.


  • #6
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    Hey OP,

    You say you love her but that you broke up because you treated her badly? I'd say if you really and truly love her and want to get back with her you need to lay your cards on the table with her. Give her a time scale. Tell her you are giving her 2 months (or whatever you think best) to make up her mind and that in that time you won't get with anyone else. That'll take the pressure off and give her time to think clearly, also if you keep your word and stay celebate she'll realise you really mean it and are trustworthy and that you're determined to make it work. If she says no at the end of the time period at least you'll know you tried and if she says yes well you'll have your family. If it doesn't work you really will have to keep the relationship professional, as in just be a Dad to your child not an occasional ride for your ex. The situation is a head wrecker all right.

    Best of luck.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    curlzy wrote: »
    Hey OP,

    You say you love her but that you broke up because you treated her badly? I'd say if you really and truly love her and want to get back with her you need to lay your cards on the table with her. Give her a time scale. Tell her you are giving her 2 months (or whatever you think best) to make up her mind and that in that time you won't get with anyone else. That'll take the pressure off and give her time to think clearly, also if you keep your word and stay celebate she'll realise you really mean it and are trustworthy and that you're determined to make it work. If she says no at the end of the time period at least you'll know you tried and if she says yes well you'll have your family. If it doesn't work you really will have to keep the relationship professional, as in just be a Dad to your child not an occasional ride for your ex. The situation is a head wrecker all right.

    Best of luck.

    I did that but she said she can't promise anything.


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