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some wrighting please be a critic

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  • 30-11-2010 12:47am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i was looking trough an old note book thare ive never showed anyone my work before so i might aswel put it up here see what ye think..

    Nights beauty
    dark and misterious
    becoming anomious

    Day time a haze of color
    beauty in icolation
    deserted unseen

    City beauty
    buildings,statues of glory
    a story on every corner
    crowds of people yet
    ironicly your invisable
    unseen,unoticed
    at ease

    Small town blues
    your known your seen

    ...........................................


    It can not be wrote down or recorded
    but expressed trough
    subconcious movements
    whare the mind is forgoten
    but the soul is found

    .............................................

    like the 1st cigaret i smoke
    make this the one to make me choke
    and the 1st canibal beer to float
    within my lips to god i wrote
    eat me alive from inside for from
    take this side
    make just this rite
    for my life blind
    i canot see but everything
    i think is wrong
    but cant be stoped
    in the life we lead
    it cant be stoped
    its money hungry
    ever lurking
    fight to the bone
    dog to the throne

    ..............................


    why lift arms for ider side
    do they not relize the extent of brainwash
    how efective it works trough media control
    and we've all been victom
    wether tricked into buying
    or a trip gone killing
    we do what we're told so the wealth keeps winning

    ............................................

    so if youve made it this far any advice?
    give up?


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