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should i leave

  • 29-11-2010 5:36pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok here go's. Been with my girlfriend over 3 years. Just had our second child.
    I love my girlfriend so much, but i treat her so bad. I have cheated on her, hurt her and really wrecked her confidence. Every occasion in the last 3 years that should of been good memories for her I have ruined, eg. both pregnancys, every xmas, all her birthdays etc. Im 28 and she is 20. But she is alot more mature than me.
    She tries her hardest to keep me happy. I always had a bad temper, its nothing to do with her. I always lose it over small things.
    Anyways yesterday I checked the history on her laptop and seen she was trying to find out a way of leaving me but that she is to afraid to.
    So what I'm here to ask is should I leave her, because I know she won't leave me and I have made her life miserable the last 3 years


Comments

  • #2
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,438 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Based on what you have said in your post, I'd say yes.

    Then get some help because you have two children with this woman and you should do your best to be the best father you can be to them and give them a good male role model.You absolutely owe it to them.


  • #3
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    If you are prepared to come on to boards and ask if you should leave and you sound as if you know you've been a pretty lousy partner, would you be prepared to get help?

    Why not make an appointment with a counsellor or attend couple counselling and become a better partner and father?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I have tried different counsellers but none of it helped. I want her to be happy and be a good father to our kids but don't think I could stand seeing her starting a new life without me. In other words I'd be afraid what way I would react. She is only young so I'm sure she will want to meet new people and that would devastate me.


  • #5
    whatsamsn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 911 ✭✭✭whatsamsn


    forhersake wrote: »
    So what I'm here to ask is should I leave her, because I know she won't leave me and I have made her life miserable the last 3 years

    By letting her leave it could be one last act of kindness after 3 years of badness.


  • #6
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    forhersake wrote: »
    Ok here go's. Been with my girlfriend over 3 years. Just had our second child.
    I love my girlfriend so much, but i treat her so bad. I have cheated on her, hurt her and really wrecked her confidence. Every occasion in the last 3 years that should of been good memories for her I have ruined, eg. both pregnancys, every xmas, all her birthdays etc. Im 28 and she is 20. But she is alot more mature than me.
    She tries her hardest to keep me happy. I always had a bad temper, its nothing to do with her. I always lose it over small things.
    Anyways yesterday I checked the history on her laptop and seen she was trying to find out a way of leaving me but that she is to afraid to.
    So what I'm here to ask is should I leave her, because I know she won't leave me and I have made her life miserable the last 3 years

    I'm in my thirties now, and if I'd a time machine that would take me back to 20 I'd jump at the chance to change the direction my life took because I stayed with a guy that was wrong for me.

    I don't think you should wait for her to ask you to leave, I think you should just go. I'd imagine one thing holding her back from asking you to leave is those two kids. Imagine how hard a decision it is for her to ask you to leave, wondering if she is doing the right thing by the children? You say you love her, obviously not enough to NOT cheat on her.

    Give her a chance to be happy with someone who won't.


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