Uncontrolable blushing: others with this problem?

LegacyUser

I blush uncontrolably. It happens anywhere and everywhere, with anyone and everyone. Most often it is with new people for no particular reason, or with friends when I'm giving my own opinion.

I see others blushing, but it's usually only their cheeks that go red. For me, it's my whole face and often my neck too. It's very embarrassing, which makes things worse, and uncomfortable. I'm not a particularly shy guy, but I've taken to talking less and less for fear of this happening.

It's affecting my social life, in particular in making new friends.



I know there are others in my situation, and I was hoping that somebody could tell me either how they manage to live with blushing, or how they went about stopping it.

LegacyUser

Look up social anxiety, you're describing symptoms of it. Cognitive behaviour therapy will help getting your thoughts in order, dont let it drag on as it will only get worse as you will begin to fear the blushing, and avoid social events.

Check out the mater group for social anxiety also. Theres loads of info online if you google it. Theres no magic pill or cream Im afraid, its all in your mind. I have tried everything and CBT works the best. Good luck with it and remember it always feels a lot worse than it actually looks.

holystungun9

I have this and yes it's a bloody nuisance but I have been managing pretty well as I have a pretty strong character. Is it just in social situations or when you do sports etc? Although I am long out of secondary school P.E. was a stress point for me. I was fit but after any light exercise it looked like I just finished running a marathon in the desert or something. This is how I am and when I took up jogging a couple of years ago I would only jog in winter when it was dark at 5 and I could jog in peace without stares.

I can't say I have "beaten" it or anything as I have adjusted my lifestyle to avoid awkward situations (group sports, dancing and I am not overly social) But I would urge anyone reading to please be a bit sensitive if you see someone who is like this. THe last thing we want to hear is 'jeez your face is fair red" We are more than likely super aware of this. At this stage in my life I am pretty content but if I could click my fingers and make the red face thing disappear I would. The above poster is right the therepy/behaviour thing if it is a social thing. If it is a case of general red face and extreme blushing I believe the real issue is having your blood vessels very close to the skin or maybe they are overactive (I am not doctor by any means so don't act on this). There is a surgery I read about which cuts off/ clamps this connection to the blood vessels in your face. It has many risks I believe and not always succesful. Not sure if the website is still there but I read one called Redmask (.org) I think and maybe you could look up Rosecea / blushing and see how your symptoms match and what others say. I repeat, this is for general research and advice (to be taking with a pinch of salt), not medical advice.

Hope this was some help, maybe i pulled your post in the wrong direction?

holystungun9

Found an old link to the Red Mask Foundation(redmask.org) but it no longer in use. Still plenty of other stuff to read from a general search. Lots or people dealing with this.

claiva

Hi Op,
I have this too. I'm a 35 yo man.
I've learned to live with it and I can generally keep it down to a minimum by concentrating on it when I feel the rush of blood to my face/neck.
I've also found that if I draw attention to it myself first, people are very understanding - so for example - I'm with people in a pub or wherever and I feel it happening - I'll say - "Jaysus I'm taking a massive reddner here" must be for something naughty I did earlier" !!
Something lighthearted like that. They will laugh and there will be a joke or two and then conversation will move on. I've found that to be the best way to minimise it as I found that when it was noticed by someone else they would draw attention to it and that would only make it worse. I'm effectively taking control of the situation by drawing their attention to it myself.
Hope this helps. It happens less and less now for me aswell and all my friends know about it so its no big deal when it does happen.

A lot of people suffer from this so don't get too bothered about it.

mikemac

Yeah I have this too

If I crack a joke in a group in the pub and people all turn to look at me I go rhubarb.
And I've no or few nerves at public speaking but I get the same

But it's always there even now as I look forward to an evening watching American football in the gaff.
Or a 20 minute walk to the shops I go bright red and I've no that unfit.
So I usually slightly red and it just flames even more sometimes

Saw a GP, they mentioned something about blood capillaries (spelling?) being active and close to my skin and not to worry, nothing you do about it.

Maybe see a GP but I don't think you'll get much help
A dermatologist maybe?

aviendha

yup also suffer from excessive blushing that extends right behind my ears, blotching all down my chest, the full works - as with a previous poster, if I had a cent for every time someone helpfully informed me that I looked "fair red!" and asking was I feeling unwell, I'd be a very rich lady.

Fortunately for me, as a girl, I've been able to wear green-based makeup to tone down the redness to minimise it but unfortunately, it's not something (for me) that can be medically treated or train myself to stop going red, despite being a pretty confident person. I've just learned over time to laugh it off, and raise it first in the conversation if I feel myself going scarlet.

There are times when I feel like yer man in Liar, Liar as I can never tell a lie - the guilt is written all over my face in a second

holystungun9

feelingstressed wrote: »

Yeah I have this too

If I crack a joke in a group in the pub and people all turn to look at me I go rhubarb.
And I've no or few nerves at public speaking but I get the same

But it's always there even now as I look forward to an evening watching American football in the gaff.
Or a 20 minute walk to the shops I go bright red and I've no that unfit.
So I usually slightly red and it just flames even more sometimes

Saw a GP, they mentioned something about blood capillaries (spelling?) being active and close to my skin and not to worry, nothing you do about it.

Maybe see a GP but I don't think you'll get much help
A dermatologist maybe?

Yep, this describes my situation exactly. Love to have a laugh and a joke which inevitably brings attention back on to me and I go red but I'm used to it and so are my friends. Another thing I have noticed is that I can be walking down the street and unexpectedly run into a friend or neighbour and go bright red. Just gotta get on with it and knock a bit of craic out of life.

LegacyUser

OP here.

Thanks for your replies. I'll look into CBT for blushing. In fact I think I've done it before but for something else.

I've found too that if I bring it up first, people tend to be sympathetic. Otherwise people can say things that aren't necessarily meant as nasty, but in the heat of the moment so to speak, they come across that way.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

Used to have the same problem. I went to a dermatologist who could only recommend an operation and I knew that an operation was not the way to go for an issue that was more mental than physical(in my case:)) Anyway I wanted to try hypnotherapy and after I spent a few months convincing my mam to let me do it I found a hypnotherapist. I started hypnotherapy (once a week and listening to a CD that was made for me every night) in February of that year and by September, when I started college it was no longer a problem. It may not work for everyone but it worked for me.