Relationship is over how to leave?

Butterflylove

Hi guys

Have finally got the courage to say my relationship is dead.

Been with OH for two years currently nearly 4mths pregnant and Iv been living in fear for the last few months

He has gone so far to hurt me a good few times, has even choked me while pregnant.

I went to a fortune teller last night and she gave me the wake up call I needed to get out saying something is going to drive him over the edge over next few weeks and to get out for sake of my baby I believe her I know what he's like.

I have tried to help him help himself have offered many types of counselling yet while he has 'promised' to do this he's never followed through with it

I have been living with him for just over a year and our lease is up in February but was warned I need to get out soon as in next week

I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice as how to move back home without it causing a wreckage he will go bananas if he is finds out Im trying to leave

Thanks in advance!

Colonel_McCoy

Just leave when he is at work. He has choked you, get out now! Today dont wait until the end of the lease! Get help moving from your brother\father\friend\cousin etc.
Your child is now your priority and he\she should not have to live in an abusive home. You have done everything you can to help him and all he has done for you is make you frightened in your own home while pregnant.

Tough man choking a pregnant woman.

james.xix

Hi OP,

It's can be hard to take courage like that, it's good for you that you have.
It is terrible that he has gone to hurt you. Anyone who would hurt anyone, let alone their partner/loved ones, is not someone worth being with. He is ****, I'm not going to say it but I think everyone knows.

It's sad you've had to go to a fortune teller to be told all this. If he hurt you once and definitely if he tried it again, he's not worth being with.

It's commendable that you have offered to help him. Love works in strange ways but him, I don't think he knows love, only violence. It's great the lease is nearly up, it's like a sign that it's nearly a new beginning for you. You should report him, he should not be allowed to get away with it.

I'm sorry, I have no advice regards moving back home. If you are worried about him going bananas, it really does sound like something you should report. You then should have someone with you when you move out. You'll have to confide in someone.

Take care OP.

Butterflylove

I do plan on leaving a night he's in work it has to wait till next week though as he's off on weekend

I guess Im also looking how to sort it out financially I still have to pay my rent (which all comes out of my account) and bills theres a few of them in my name

Miss Fluff

You poor girl, how horrific. You need to get out of this as soon as possible. Give Women's Aid a call as they will be able to offer your lots of practical support as well as the emotional support you need right now. http://www.womensaid.ie/

Because of the extenuating circumstances you may be in a position to break your lease a little early. Try not to worry too much for now about the practicalities, you can give these issues some time only after you have fled from this monster. Leaving, and leaving as soon as possible is your top priority right now.

Have you got brothers/male friends that will be able to help you flee?

Butterflylove

Thanks for your replies I have finally confided in my friends to what has been going on and they are going to help me to move out,

I have alot of financial ties to him at the moment so I just dont want to flee without talking to him first

I guess Im thinking of breaking it gentle to him I dont to have ill feelings between us he needs alot of help and Im hoping me leaving will give him the cop on he needs as he still has a child on the way

I know for my own safety I need to leave and let him sort himself out,

I have all the dealings with the Landlord myself and have a responability to ensure the place is returned in the same way it was received this was my first time renting so I would need (like) the reference to rent again.

Hes not stupid he knows Im planning on leaving I more concerned of the fact he wont pay the rent or something out of spite or go do something stupid thats what I mean by going bananas he wouldnt stop me going if its what I really wanted

Miss Fluff

Butterflylove wrote: »

I have alot of financial ties to him at the moment so I just dont want to flee without talking to him first

I guess Im thinking of breaking it gentle to him

"Gentle" is obviously not in his vocabulary hon and being perfectly honest I think you are potentially putting you and your baby at risk by telling him you are leaving before you actually leave him. Trust me when I say this is not the approach to take. I think there is a very good chance that he will go "bananas" and goodness only knows what he will do.

You need to leave him in secret with the help of your friends and tell him after you have moved everything out and are in a safe place. Only then can you tell him its over, not a moment before.

Butterflylove

Thanks guys your so right I cant believe but I was actually feeling guilty about just upping and leaving

self asteem is at an all time low so no wonder I feel like this

Thanks for advice really appreciate it Ive been living with my head in the sand long enough!

LegacyUser

please leave NOW. TODAY. who knows when he will flip again. there are womens hostels which are safe house for women in fear all around the city that men have no assess to, which have trained professionals who can help you on your way. you can sort everything you need out from there. please do it now, for your own safety and the safety of your baby. please check out womens aid or go this morning to a maternity hospital (you dont even need to be booked in) and go to the social work department and ask for help. please.

Wisco

Leave now. Get your friends or family organized to help you move when he's out or at work or whatever. Don't feel like you have to tell him before you go- I'd be very afraid he'll lash out and hurt you and your baby. If you need to talk to him after, do it in a public place, with friends nearby.
Good luck, I'll be thinking of you. Stay strong, you can do this.