family bullying- hypothetically speaking

purplehaze901

Hi
Im just wondering if one was being bullied by a family member over a period of 10 years within the confines of a family business and suffered psycholgical, verbal and emotional abuse. And let's say there was an argument within the family on 2 occasions whereby the perpetrator was to half heartedly make the lamest apology possible and justify there actions by blaming other family membersm because apparently they were doing his head in and he couldnt listen to them. Lets say there was no proof and by that i mean no recordings but there were witnesses, other family members who worked there and where in laws and the possibiliity of 1 or 2 non family member witnesses. Would there be any point in pursuing something like this and what would be the outcome if there was.

Im not looking for legal advice as i will consult aa solicitor on that but just meagre opinions please just for piece of mind really.

Thanks

MagicSean

Pursuing it in what way?

purplehaze901

sorry i forgot to say, if one were to bring that person to court ?

pirelli

purplehaze901 wrote: »

Hi
Im just wondering if one was being bullied by a family member over a period of 10 years within the confines of a family business and suffered psycholgical, verbal and emotional abuse. And let's say there was an argument within the family on 2 occasions whereby the perpetrator was to half heartedly make the lamest apology possible and justify there actions by blaming other family membersm because apparently they were doing his head in and he couldnt listen to them. Lets say there was no proof and by that i mean no recordings but there were witnesses, other family members who worked there and where in laws and the possibiliity of 1 or 2 non family member witnesses. Would there be any point in pursuing something like this and what would be the outcome if there was.

Im not looking for legal advice as i will consult aa solicitor on that but just meagre opinions please just for piece of mind really.

Thanks

Well you must confront that family member at some stage. The fact he apologised means that must have happened already. You must be very clear to him about what behaviour your willing to tolerate and what behaviour you are not.

There should be a bullying in the workplace policy in this business. If there isn't then you have the option of taking this through the labour court. There is no excuse for bullying.

Your situation sounds like a workplace situation, but depending on the situation you might be deemed a householder and not an employee as it is a family situation.

You could take more drastic avenues such as a court order and maybe even under the family law act. You could get a safety order which would prevent him from bothering you.


I cannot think what else you might do unless there is some form of discrimination for sex, race, disability etc.. then you could try the equality tribunial.

MagicSean

purplehaze901 wrote: »

sorry i forgot to say, if one were to bring that person to court ?

For what though? Are you looking for a criminal conviction, money, safety orders, control of the business? I kind of get the impression that you want to bring them to criminal court. In that case it is really the Gardaí you should go to rather than a solicitor.

purplehaze901

pirelli wrote: »

Well you must confront that family member at some stage. The fact he apologised means that must have happened already. You must be very clear to him about what behaviour your willing to tolerate and what behaviour you are not.

The only reason he attempted to apolgise was because my father was doing the silent treatment on him. Thats all he can do.

I am in counselling at the minute and my counsellor is preparing me for that, i've wrote down everything he's ever said/done to me and im doing a dialogue on what im going to say to him just to be prepared and i have a dictaphone which will constantly be on as i will return to work there at christmas..... but for money though, im only going back to confront him, i feel i have to do this because its affecting my relationship that im having with people, ive fell out with all my friends because im so angry alll the time, i get violent flashbacks about things he has done to me down through years and im living in the past.

I cant get this out of my head, currently im trying to study for exams iand i cant because im so angry about this, this semester alone i have been in a & e for diarea (dunno how to spelll that) and vomiting, i have had blood tests and endoscopys done and they cant find anything worng with me, my counsellor said its stress because of this and then the doctor said its stress related.

It turns out after having a chat with my father about this one time, he knew all along that this was going on, he broke down in tears and told me that he was afraid of him as well, , and every time after he would hurl abuse at me as a child before i would go home he would make me promise not to say anything to my mother and bribe me by buying me sweets and then tell me. "now i bought you sweets so you cant tell you mothe, right!?". So the only one who isnt afraid of him is my mother, i have recently told her about this and i had to hold her back from going in there and knocking his head off, basically because i didnt want the same confrontation as before. There has been so many staff gone through the doors of that place because they couldnt listenn to him, borthers and cousins from my mothers side of the family have worked there and left because they said he was an ignorant **** and he was tooo har to work for!

to answer your other questions
1. there is no workplace bullying policy
2. what is i was going through the books, would i still qualify as a householder.
3. the reason why i want to take him to court is because he is still tryin to intimidate me and its as if nothing ever happened i just feel this is the only way to get some closure, i know he wont go to jail and im not really interested inn getting money..... well if i do fair enough, i wont refuse but i just cant let it go unitll i do this. Counselling i helping a bit but not much maybe when i confront him i will feel better.

MagicSean

Do you live in the same house?

purplehaze901

with my uncle ? .....no or with my dad? but the answer to both is no

but at the time i was full time working there an recieving the abuse i was a housholder

pirelli

purplehaze901 wrote: »

pirelli wrote: »

Well you must confront that family member at some stage. The fact he apologised means that must have happened already. You must be very clear to him about what behaviour your willing to tolerate and what behaviour you are not.

The only reason he attempted to apolgise was because my father was doing the silent treatment on him. Thats all he can do.

I am in counselling at the minute and my counsellor is preparing me for that, i've wrote down everything he's ever said/done to me and im doing a dialogue on what im going to say to him just to be prepared and i have a dictaphone which will constantly be on as i will return to work there at christmas..... but for money though, im only going back to confront him, i feel i have to do this because its affecting my relationship that im having with people, ive fell out with all my friends because im so angry alll the time, i get violent flashbacks about things he has done to me down through years and im living in the past.

I cant get this out of my head, currently im trying to study for exams iand i cant because im so angry about this, this semester alone i have been in a & e for diarea (dunno how to spelll that) and vomiting, i have had blood tests and endoscopys done and they cant find anything worng with me, my counsellor said its stress because of this and then the doctor said its stress related.

It turns out after having a chat with my father about this one time, he knew all along that this was going on, he broke down in tears and told me that he was afraid of him as well, , and every time after he would hurl abuse at me as a child before i would go home he would make me promise not to say anything to my mother and bribe me by buying me sweets and then tell me. "now i bought you sweets so you cant tell you mothe, right!?". So the only one who isnt afraid of him is my mother, i have recently told her about this and i had to hold her back from going in there and knocking his head off, basically because i didnt want the same confrontation as before. There has been so many staff gone through the doors of that place because they couldnt listenn to him, borthers and cousins from my mothers side of the family have worked there and left because they said he was an ignorant **** and he was tooo har to work for!

to answer your other questions
1. there is no workplace bullying policy
2. what is i was going through the books, would i still qualify as a householder.
3. the reason why i want to take him to court is because he is still tryin to intimidate me and its as if nothing ever happened i just feel this is the only way to get some closure, i know he wont go to jail and im not really interested inn getting money..... well if i do fair enough, i wont refuse but i just cant let it go unitll i do this. Counselling i helping a bit but not much maybe when i confront him i will feel better.

The labour court has strict time limits so be careful of that. I think you might try sue him for personal injury. For post traumatic stress. At least taking that step might help you. If he is such a monster and you have so many witnesses then you might have a chance.