So my kinda girlfriend is pregnant

LegacyUser

really just have a few questions i don't think i need to get into the whole debacle

Ive told her whatever she decides to do id be 100% behind her, she doesnt want to have the child but doesn't know if she could go through with an abortion either. im starting to think id like to have the child, even if it means raising it myself, should i tell her this???

if i did raise the child and things didn't work out between myself and the gf, could she just take the child off me? might seem like an odd question i just want to know all the facts before i speak to her about it, couldn't find anything online about this particular question. i dont think i could handle a situation like that

not sure if this is in the right forum but sure move it elsewhere if needs be thanks!

Zeouterlimits

Yes, you should tell her. It could influence her decision, knowing that you'd actually like to raise your child, which is more concrete than saying you're 100% behind her.

Nevyn

Yes you shoudl talk to her about the fact you would be willing to take on the responsiblity and to raise the child. Other men have done it. You would have to get her to sign legal papers to give you guardianship and custody of the child once it is born but it's doable.

TheminxIRL

Hi Op I commend you on both sticking around and wanting to raise your child.

If this girl would agree to this definitely make it all official through the courts just in case she does have a change of heart then she will have to back through the courts to make any changes.

What is in the best interests of the child will then be taken into consideration.

Please prepare yourself though, even if she does agree now, when the child is born she may well change her mind if she bonds with the baby.

Dont allow yourself to assume anything is certain until its been to court and the documents are signed

Good luck and congratulations

LegacyUser

Thanks guys/gals

Jenneke87

possiblefathertobe wrote: »

really just have a few questions i don't think i need to get into the whole debacle

Ive told her whatever she decides to do id be 100% behind her, she doesnt want to have the child but doesn't know if she could go through with an abortion either. im starting to think id like to have the child, even if it means raising it myself, should i tell her this???

I wish that was said to me when I was pregnant, then I wouldn't have had the abortion and I'd be 16 weeks gone by now. So yes, please tell her that so she doesnt have to struggle with this alone. It's such a relief to hear from a partner that he's behind you and supporting you, I can't stress that enough in situations like this..

metrovelvet

She may be thinking of having an abortion because she thinks she cant raise a child on her own or that you wont help her or many other possible reasons.

If you are considering raising this child on your own, this child which will be motherless [as things stand now] she can always come back and seek access. She cant just take the child away from you as you would be the custodial parent but she can seek time with the child. You can also ask her for maintenance and for her child benefit. It has been done before contrary to what some people might think.

You should also think ahead as to being prepared for that possibility and also for the possibility that your child will want to know his or her mother and she wont want to know.

If you look at how surrogacy and adoption works, its not just a case of the mother gives birth and hands over the child. It is a process that can take a while because biologically it is better for the newborn to have contact with his or her mother's body. And parents giving up their kids have a brief period of being able to change their minds. Just something to consider and look into to see different protocols for how this can be done.

Fittle

How pregnant is she OP?

I ask because it's possible she's still in shock about what was an unplanned pregnancy - it takes a while for us to adjust, trust me:D

You may be slightly jumping the gun here, by telling her you'd raise the child yourself...if she doesn't think she can go through with an abortion, my thoughts are that she won't - you are being very supportive here OP, and I commend you for it.

LegacyUser

she's 7 weeks but found out only 2 weeks ago. she's only 21 where as im late 20's. she's very much afraid of being a mum and more so a single mum!

i told her tonight anyway, her first impression was if she's going to have the child she wont give it away and that if she did have the child we'd give our relationship a serious try(it had been all partying and less relationship up until now so she's not convinced we could work out, or more so she doesn't think we would)

she still doesn't want to have the child though and will decide in the next week, well she says she will anyway.