Every time I meet a guy....

LegacyUser

Hey there,

Been single a few months now, and trying to put myself back out there, so to speak, but all I seem to get is to the stage of swapping numbers, facebook or whatever- then I get ignored! Take sat night- met a nice guy, friend of a friend in a group on a night out- we swapped numbers, had a bit of a kiss, he tried to get me to go back to his, but I said no, as I'm not really into one nighters, and didn't want to leave my friend on her own. He did not leave my side all night, made me promise I'd meet the following night, and told me to text him to let him know I was home safe- which I did. Nothing since! I get the impression alot of them are just looking for sex....it just seems to me if I liked someone enough to sleep with them, I'd want to at least text them or meet up?! I'm starting to loose faith. This sort of thing happens nearly every night I'm out, with or without the kiss, have no problem meeting men, but then never hear again from them...

S23

Exasparated!! wrote: »

I get the impression alot of them are just looking for sex....

it just seems to me if I liked someone enough to sleep with them, I'd want to at least text them or meet up?!

Yes to this first bit. Unfortunately thats the way things are with some people. Some people just want a one nighter.

Unfortuantely it's a big NO to the second part. It doesn't nessicarily work like that. I'm not saying it's like that with everyone but there are plenty of people out there that just want to have sex with you without actually liking you.

It's not actually about liking someone if you pick them up for a one night stand. I mean how much do you learn by talking to someone in a couple of hours in a pub/club? Lads (and ladies) looking for a one night stand aren't thinking 'oh he/she is such a wonderful person I want to make the sweet, sensual love to them'. They are more than likely thinking 'jaysus he/she is really goodlooking/fit and I'd love to fcuk his/her brains out'.

I can't tell you why you keep running into these people. A streak of bad luck perhaps. However, you will find that meeting people in nightclubs or bars entails running into people who just want a quick ride.

seenitall

Agree with S23 100%, OP.

Just keep having fun and being clear on what you don't want from your nights out, and hopefully what you do want isn't far off!

Best wishes.

Canluum

Exasparated!! wrote: »

made me promise I'd meet the following night, and told me to text him to let him know I was home safe-

And on sober reflection he may have thought differently... didn't want to go through the effort of all that dating crap. Alcohol can make us think we're more into someone than we actually are. If this is the case he's doing you a favour. You don't want to be dating someone who doesn't really fancy you.

In saying that:

Take sat night- met a nice guy, which I did. Nothing since!

It's been two days.... I usually wait about a week before contacting a girl again. What's the big rush!? Give it a few days.

I get the impression alot of them are just looking for sex...

Nothing particularly wrong with that.

it just seems to me if I liked someone enough to sleep with them, I'd want to at least text them or meet up?!

People change their minds when sober.

I'm starting to loose faith. This sort of thing happens nearly every night I'm out, with or without the kiss, have no problem meeting men, but then never hear again from them...

Trying to get a boyfriend in a club is like kicking a deflated football, you'll get the ball but it won't go anywhere.

LegacyUser

That guy wanted to get you into the sack. He pulled out all the stops, even after you said you weren't interested in one nighters. Unfortunately you'll meet a lot of guys like this in pubs and niteclubs. Forget about looking for a nice guy in a club, because you'll end up disappointed.

Try meeting new men elsewhere.

LighterGuy

S23 and also the unregistered post above are right.

He wanted a shag op. You said no to him. So he has no interest in you. You sound like you want a something meaningful so just as well you didnt sleep with him. You would of got used big time.

The old saying "weeding out the crap" - thats what you just did.

LegacyUser

op here, funny, he added me on facebook today with a message turns out I took his number down wrong- so obviously he never received text and didn't want to push it with me in case he had come on a bit strong, but wants to meet up again! Okay, faith may be slightly restored . I don't even mind if nothing happens really, just the silence after felt horrible, like he had totally pretended to be interested to get me into bed but really didn't like me at all...I know some people do that, and I'm not totally against one night stands. But I'd have to at least have enough interest in someone if I wanted to sleep with them that I would at least speak to them/acknowledge them-

Reminds me of Chasing Amy- 'I bet you don't love all the girls you sleep with' ......'Some of them I downright loathe'

LegacyUser

ohpee wrote: »

op here, funny, he added me on facebook today with a message turns out I took his number down wrong- so obviously he never received text and didn't want to push it with me in case he had come on a bit strong, but wants to meet up again! Okay, faith may be slightly restored . I don't even mind if nothing happens really, just the silence after felt horrible, like he had totally pretended to be interested to get me into bed but really didn't like me at all.

That's brilliant news : ). Hope it works out well