Just can't get on top of things...

LegacyUser

I think I need inspiration and/or advice.
I am a single mum to 3 wonderful children. We moved into our house about four years ago and since then I have been feeling overwhelmed by teh volume of work I have to do, just the day to day stuff, washing, cleaning, tidying etc. I can't remember what it is like to rush out leaving dishes etc. only to occassionally find they've been tidyied away and the place clean (when there was a partner there to share the load). I know the children could do more but I guess I feel they've been through enough with their dad emigrating that I leave them off with the "chores". I think even if they were doing jobs for me around the house I would still feel this overwhelming feeling of being out of control, or just not being able to get on top of things. There seems to be a clothes dryer up and ironing board out at all times so the place never looks tidy.
There seems to be tonnes of clothes all over the house.
And what am I doing..... reading posts on here and now typing this... while there is ironing to be done and floors to be washed.
I have a lazy streak, I recognise that. But when I visit friends houses I dread coming home to my constant mess.
My other problem is hoarding. Example, I keep my older daughter's clothes to pass on to the youngest, though there is four years in the difference of age. So there is more clothes just hanging around waiting to fit!
HELP!!

dan_d

Okay, I'm not a parent, so I can't really comment on the kids thing. But seriously, you need to organise!!!

Firstly, fair play to for keeping the clothes to pass on. Do you have an attic in your house? Can I suggest you go into Ikea, or Woodies or somewhere and get the biggest boxes you can lay your hands on (with lids) and put all the clothes you can up in the attic in the boxes. If you want to be really fussy, stick a couple of labels on them showing what age group is in each box. Take a trip up there every 6 months or so, to get stuff down/put stuff up. That way, you still have the stuff, but it's not clogging up other space.

As for the constant washing and ironing - I think that's a woman's lot in life! There's only me and my OH, and sometimes it seems never ending! I don't know what age your kids are, but can you at least put a small laundry basket in each of their rooms (you can get really nice coloured ones for small kids, again in Ikea/B&Q/Woodies etc) and teach them to put dirty clothes in their baskets, and you empty them every few days. That way there's a bit more control over the dirty clothes lying around and building up.

If your kids are teenagers, I'd buy them the basket, tell them to put their dirty clothes in it and maybe consider giving them a time slot or a day where they can wash their own clothes every week.Sounds fanciful I know, but if you're washing a 16/17/18 year olds clothes, you seriously need to start thinking about getting them to do it themselves, especially since you're overwhelmed. Either that or once the clothes come out of the washer, and dry, put them in a basket back in their room and tell them it's up to them to iron them. It's not an awful lot to ask of them.

Do you have a dishwasher?? Each child should have a day to clear the table and fill the dishwasher. Not at weekends, say, just during the week. Again I don't know what age your kids are, but if there are little people, you can help them...get them to bring the plates over to you from the table, let them put in the tablet and push the button.

You also really need to learn to throw out things/recycle things that aren't going to worn again, or that haven't been used/worn in at least a year. You'll discover areas of your house again that you forgot existed!!!!!

As I said I'm not a mother, but what I've listed above is not much to ask kids (obviously tailor according to age). And the boxes for the outgrown clothes are an absolute must, that's the first thing you should consider. You'll have to train your kids, they're not going to be inspired! Also remember that your house doesn't have to perfect all the time, a bit of a mess is okay!!

astra2000

Hi op well as a married mother to three children I really do empathise with you, I always think it has got to be so hard doing everything on your own with out a partner for back up and I presume that as he is not living in the same country as you and your kids access is not frequent.
Firstly you need to try and set a routine for yourself and stick to it as much as possible. I always give the house a really good clean on a monday, ready for the weekahead, and again on a friday, ready for the weekend. Obviously there is a certain amount of things that have to be done every day no escaping that unfortunatly. However the kids should be helping out. I know you want to make life easier for them as they have been through a lot, but all children need to learn how to do basic household chores. They could make their beds in the morning and rinse their breakfast dishes, it would only take them a few mins. On a the weekend if you all put in 30 mins tidying up it would make a big difference. If you are going off somewhere for the day tell the kids ye can leave as soon as the house is tidy, its amazing how much they will get on board. Explain to them why you need help and that the less you have to do around the house the more time you can spend with them. After meals at the weekend they can wash, dry and put away dishes, while you tidy up and sweep the floor. None of this is asking too much and will give you more time to get bigger jobs done.
As for the hoarding, it is very easy to get into this habbit but it only serves to make your house look untidy. I have a good clear out once a month sounds excesssive but it helps avoid a build up of things. I too keep clothes to pass along from my oldest daughter to the youngest, but I have became more choosy with what I keep. A lot of the time the clothes are too worn/have stains on/will be gone out of fashion. (remember ponchos!) I put this sort of clothing for recycling. I go through their toys regularly and get rid of the broken ones anything they no longer play with I give to charity.
If you dont have a tumble drier there is no avoiding a clothes horse at this time of year, do you have a utility room you can put it up in? Do you ironing in one go once or twice a week, when your hanging clothes to dry give them a good shake and hang them neatly saves on a lot of ironing:).
Start clearing out a room each week until christmas, each room wont take more than a few hours and the house will look much better and be easier to keep tidy. Best of luck

LegacyUser

Thank you ladies for your replies and inspiration... I've just ironed for3 hours and have filled three black sacks for charity, and two bags for friends' kids earlier today. House still full but I feel I can breath again. I think the new year will bring lots of changes for us and I plan to implement chore charts etc. for the kids (all under 11).
Your pointers and ideas have served me well. Thank you so much.
I'm a little less stressed.
Ikea for me tomorrow for some storage boxes, must measure attic door!

astra2000

Good for you! House work is boring and mundane but if you can keep on top of it it makes life a bit easier! Best of luck with the chore chart hope things get easier.

dan_d

Yup, best of luck!Ikea's range of laundry stuff is ginormous.

PS, just had a thought.....I know you were only talking about clothes, but I remember reading what I thought was a good idea a while ago. A mother had 2 kids and said she spent her whole time picking things up. So when she got fed up with this, she bought a chest (not necessarily ikea, but I know they have stuff like this)...the kind that has straw baskets for drawers, they tend to be long and low like a sideboard...and gave each kid a drawer/basket. I think she had the chest in the hall, where everyone could get at it. When they played with toys downstairs, they could leave them downstairs as long as they went into the baskets at the end of the day (either she put the stuff in, or they did). When she hoovered once a week, the kids also took their baskets and brought them upstairs (or to wherever toys were stored), and put all the stuff in the baskets with their toys, then put the baskets back in the chest, empty for the next week. She mainly used them for little things - you know, bits of lego, bits of the many things that come with dolls, computer games, hair clips...that sort of thing.Little things.And her rule was - if it's on the carpet, it gets hoovered up.Worked well.

http://www.dunnesstores.ie/page.php?pid=19&section_id=297&sub_section_id=298&range_id=528&product_id=5249&__pg_ps=16&__pg_pg=1

Something like that, except long and low, with baskets side-by-side.

Sorry about rambling on, best of luck anyway!

astra2000

dan_d wrote: »

Yup, best of luck!Ikea's range of laundry stuff is ginormous.

PS, just had a thought.....I know you were only talking about clothes, but I remember reading what I thought was a good idea a while ago. A mother had 2 kids and said she spent her whole time picking things up. So when she got fed up with this, she bought a chest (not necessarily ikea, but I know they have stuff like this)...the kind that has straw baskets for drawers, they tend to be long and low like a sideboard...and gave each kid a drawer/basket. I think she had the chest in the hall, where everyone could get at it. When they played with toys downstairs, they could leave them downstairs as long as they went into the baskets at the end of the day (either she put the stuff in, or they did). When she hoovered once a week, the kids also took their baskets and brought them upstairs (or to wherever toys were stored), and put all the stuff in the baskets with their toys, then put the baskets back in the chest, empty for the next week. She mainly used them for little things - you know, bits of lego, bits of the many things that come with dolls, computer games, hair clips...that sort of thing.Little things.And her rule was - if it's on the carpet, it gets hoovered up.Worked well.

http://www.dunnesstores.ie/page.php?pid=19&section_id=297&sub_section_id=298&range_id=528&product_id=5249&__pg_ps=16&__pg_pg=1

Something like that, except long and low, with baskets side-by-side.

Sorry about rambling on, best of luck anyway!

Thats a great idea I am going to steal it ! It will come in handy in my porch for all the hats, scarves and gloves. Thanks

dan_d

Glad I could help! (I'm one of those sad people that gets excited about anything storage related - I like a bit clutter as long as it's neat clutter!!!!)