I could do with getting this off my chest

LegacyUser

So last night, I got dumped. I'm upset about it.

It wasn't by any means serious, just a couple of months, but I'm still sad. She really is a helluva girl. Gorgeous, same interests as me, sarcastic, caring. TBH I know she was kind of out of my league. So although it was short, and sweet while it lasted, I'm upset. I know I will be fine in a week or whatever but, really, I think I might look back and wonder about this one. She ticked all the boxes.

Last night I got a text "I know you're busy but when you're finished can I see you? Or if not, can we talk tomorrow?" I was fairly sure what that meant, but part of me was hoping she just wanted to talk.

I had been a bad mood all week (just stupid stuff with work and housemates etc) so I put my coat on and said "On my way, meet you at x." Her reply was "Lol, yes sir!" That kind of gave me hope. Then she was a few minutes late so I called to see where she was (finding parking) but I could tell by her voice that it was awkward for her. She'd be there in two minutes.

"I really like you but I'm not sure where this is going"; "I'm not sure I want a serious relationship right now" and, the one that's been a bit of a killer since, "I want to be perfectly honest and say I have a crush on someone else. I don't know if I want to see him, but I want to be honest and up-front about that too."

I was okay with it, no tears, no on-my-knees begging-her-to-stay, just a "Yeah, I understand, that's reasonable, I hope we can be friends."

And that's kind of true. She was perfectly honest and reasonable about it. I went home, had a couple of tinnies and went to bed. I just wanted time to pass. Sure enough, I couldn't sleep to save my life so I was kind of just lying there with my frown on. And when I did fall asleep, I woke up again at 4am.

Today, I feel sort of numb. I have no appetite and I feel tired. I tried to do a bit of work to get my mind off it but, honestly, I sat there staring at the screen and pages for three hours. I'm sad. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this (I'm male; and she was new) so I'm just kind of stuck until time passes it way away. Might try watch a DVD or something.

I've done the clever things that you should do. I deleted that lovely photo of her from our first date that comes up as her contact pic. I haven't deleted her as a friend on Facebook, but blocked her status updates. I dunno what else I should do to get her off my mind.

I think I just need something to pass the time. I didn't love her but I'm still sore and rejected and low in confidence after it. I feel like I could do with a cry, but I'm not that hurt by it. Typical, stuck between a rock and hard place situation.

Anyway I'll check back on this thread later so if anyone has any helpful tips or words of encouragement, they'd be appreciated. Thanks

LighterGuy

Op, we all get hurt when people break up with us. It bruises our ego. We get a knock of confidence. Heck, even if you werent into the person who broke up with you So dont worry. Everything your feeling is what everyone has felt.

"I really like you but I'm not sure where this is going" & "I'm not sure I want a serious relationship right now" - you know yourself what they mean aka "dont wanna be with you" .... So to hell with her.

"I want to be perfectly honest and say I have a crush on someone else. I don't know if I want to see him, but I want to be honest and up-front about that too." - that one sounds pretty open. I reckon there is someone else. But dont think she is "alright" for being honest. Fact is she either wants to date you or she doesnt (well you know she doesnt) so to hell with her again

Besides for all you know is she could of met this bloke 2 weeks ago and went out with him on the sly. Your average person only ends things when something else is lined up.

Its ok to feel a bit down. You'll pick yourself up in no time mate
+1 for deleting her off facebook.

Pebbles!

No break up is easy, regardless if it was serious or not. You still devoted a couple of months of your life to this girl. You said she ticked all the right boxes so off course you'l always wonder. But i definitely believe that if it's meant to be it'l be!:D and also time is a great healer.

This obviously wasn't meant to be...for now anyway. She doesn't want a relationship with you. Give her some space, remain friends with her..it can help. Try not to get bogged down thinking about things, your doing the right thing by removing her photo and things like that. I would definitely recommend keeping yourself busy.

hope u feel better soon, nothing worse than a break up x

cafecolour

Just Got Dumped wrote: »

I think I just need something to pass the time. I didn't love her but I'm still sore and rejected and low in confidence after it. I feel like I could do with a cry, but I'm not that hurt by it. Typical, stuck between a rock and hard place situation.

You've done all the right steps so far, you'll be fine with some time. But, yes, distract yourself in the meantime. For me, immersing myself in a 'fantasy' world for a little while is a good distraction for when I want to dull some real world pain. Playing video games, watching DVDs (especially TV shows, especially the serialized hour long drama ones. You can get lost for like 10 hours in a season), reading a book -they all work for me.

WhodahWoodah

Dude if you want to have a bit of a cry and get that out of your system then nobody's going to hold that against you.

I suggest take a day or two for wound-licking and personal TLC, and then go hang out with friends as much as possible for a while. Human company is a great healer and it's something that you can do something about. Game of football or pool or something will help get rid of the tension and if you can manage to have a laugh it'll cheer you up too.

If that doesn't work I dare you to watch all the episodes of The Inbetweeners on Channel 4's website and not bust a rib laughing!

ClutchIt

Very well written OP, I thought it was an interesting read. I hope everything works out for you in future

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the kind words, folks. Feeling in better form today. Haven't really done any work, taking it a bit easy. Also, there's talk of a few scoops later. That might help