Asking a guy out who I barely know!!

LegacyUser

Hi Folks,

Just looking for some advice from the straight talking people on boards!

There is a guy who come into my office as an auditor and I fancy the pants off him.
He only comes in a few days a week and will be finishing up at Christmas time.

I have no real reason to speak to him (I'm the receptionist) but I see him everytime he's in as he walks past my desk to get to his office. He always says hello and seems very smiley and friendly.

I looked him up on facebook (sad I know!) and his profile is private so I have no idea if he's single or taken. All it said was his favourite bands are The Smiths and Interpol which would be the same as me incidentally!

So, I'm looking for advice on how to get talking to him. He'll be leaving soon and I'll never see him again so I was thinking at that stage of sending him a facebook message but am a little worried.

Would that be weird?

Would it seem desperate?

Also if he likes me do you think it should be him who takes the risk and asks me? I mean if he fancied me enough then surely he would?

To be honest, I'm a good looking, smart, interesting and funny girl (modest too!) and I have no qualms asking a guy out.

Cheers folks!

Hayzooz

I wouldn't just ask him out cos he might think you do this all the time.

Maybe ask him where he likes to go out and try and prompt him to ask you to join him?

If that doesn't work, try and organise a few of you to go out after work and ask if he'd like to join you. He'll know you like him then, so you'll get an answer.

LegacyUser

The thing is though he's an auditor and I'm just the receptionist.
He's basically a stranger. I can't just ask him what he's into out of the blue!

He walks past my desk and we both quietly say 'hi' and that's it! I don't know him at all or have any reason work related or otherwise to speak to him!

Also, I instantly thought he was gorgeous so chances are other girls do to or he has a gf.

It's hard, how on earth do you strike up a conversation out of the blue?

It's weird though, my intuition is telling me strongly to go for this. Usually I'm very self sabotaging and can be quite negative about men but with him I get a good 'feeling'.

To the men out there, can I ask, if you were an auditor or someone who was only working in an office for a few weeks, would you hit on the receptionist if you fancied her??

If you were single and though she was cute would you try talking to her?

Just to add, it's a very very very corporate environment. Not the type of place where flirting is induced! It's very suits and brief cases!!

calibelle

Ask him!! I wouldn't send him a fb message though as it might come across as a bit strange that you looked him up. On his last day just say do you fancy meeting up and hand him your phone no....worst thing he could say is no and you won't have to see him again anyway!

Hayzooz

talkingheadssss wrote: »

The thing is though he's an auditor and I'm just the receptionist.
He's basically a stranger. I can't just ask him what he's into out of the blue!

He walks past my desk and we both quietly say 'hi' and that's it! I don't know him at all or have any reason work related or otherwise to speak to him!

Also, I instantly thought he was gorgeous so chances are other girls do to or he has a gf.

It's hard, how on earth do you strike up a conversation out of the blue?

It's weird though, my intuition is telling me strongly to go for this. Usually I'm very self sabotaging and can be quite negative about men but with him I get a good 'feeling'.

To the men out there, can I ask, if you were an auditor or someone who was only working in an office for a few weeks, would you hit on the receptionist if you fancied her??

If you were single and though she was cute would you try talking to her?

Just to add, it's a very very very corporate environment. Not the type of place where flirting is induced! It's very suits and brief cases!!

Yes chances are he has a girlfriend, this is perfectly true. But you speaking up and out might change that.

There's nothing in this world for those not prepared to take a risk.

What's the worse that can happen? He says no. That's it.

What's the best? Don't even consider that!

If you need a script, then how about this:

You: "Oh hi again! How's the audit going?"
Him: "Oh fine yeah...how are you?"
You: "Great yeah...nice to see a few new faces in here. Speaking of new faces, there's a few of us heading out after work if you fancy coming along?"

Now you should know Auditors are not supposed to mingle with staff so you will be caught out here

Him: "Oh can't do that!"
You: "Oh well of course, sure just look me up on facebook instead and we can keep it off the books!!"

(Embarrassing silence)

At least you will know where you stand by this stage!

99.99% of men will be completely flattered by a girl asking them out. He WILL think it's strange, but in the best possible way. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Nobody ever regretted things they did.

Let us know how you get on. :-)

JonathanAnon

You: "Oh hi again! How's the audit going?"

Are you joking.?.. Casually ask him "how is the audit of our company going"??? Maybe follow it up with "So when will the Examinor be coming in" or "How do think the shareholders will feel when we tell them their investments are worthless?????????"

On no account ask him ANYTHING to do with the work he is involved with. He'll think you're a mole... Think about it, if he has a relationship with somebody in a company that he is auditing, how do you think that would look professionally??? AND .. If you approach him while he is STILL doing work for the company, he will think you're dim enough NOT to realise that even if you were the most attractive woman in the world, he could not make a move without creating a conflict of interest...

In my humble opinion, you would be better off trying your best to make small talk with him during the period of time that he is working with your company, and then try to make contact with him AFTER he is COMPLETELY finished working with your company..

Hayzooz

JonathanAnon wrote: »

Are you joking.?.. Casually ask him "how is the audit of our company going"??? Maybe follow it up with "So when will the Examinor be coming in" or "How do think the shareholders will feel when we tell them their investments are worthless?????????"

On no account ask him ANYTHING to do with the work he is involved with. He'll think you're a mole... Think about it, if he has a relationship with somebody in a company that he is auditing, how do you think that would look professionally??? AND .. If you approach him while he is STILL doing work for the company, he will think you're dim enough NOT to realise that even if you were the most attractive woman in the world, he could not make a move without creating a conflict of interest...

In my humble opinion, you would be better off trying your best to make small talk with him during the period of time that he is working with your company, and then try to make contact with him AFTER he is COMPLETELY finished working with your company..

Get a grip...it doesn't compromise any audit rules. She's the receptionist not a partner.

Read IAS24 and stop spouting such sensationalist pony-and-trap.

LighterGuy

Short answer: ask him out

Long answer:
You are in a perfect oppurtunity
You can easily strike a conversation with him while at the same time being natural since you work there as he is coming in to do an audit. You dont have to worry about how do you start a converstion etc
But apart from that he will not being coming in after christmas. Which is only 4 weeks away! ... this is perfect

Perfect because even if he has a gf, married or just says no you wont have to deal with feeling awkward ... and at the same time knowing the circumstances (being able to interact naturally) you can easily ask him out

Strike him in a conversation use the best line out there for this situation: "Im sorry, but i was just wondering... do you have a girlfriend? [smile]" - he says no. ask him for his number. if he says "yes i do have a gf/married/etc" simply just turn around, smile and say "she is a lucky woman" (you tried it on and by responding positively you didnt loose any face. No awakward "oh oh im sorry" )

finbarrk

More than likely if he was game ball he would have hit on you allready.

Ickle Magoo

As per the charter, please reply to threads in a civil and well phrased manner.

Please take the time to read the forum rules in the charter and abide by them.

Many thanks.
Ickle

Zen65

talkingheadssss wrote: »

The thing is though he's an auditor and I'm just the receptionist.
He's basically a stranger. I can't just ask him what he's into out of the blue!

He walks past my desk and we both quietly say 'hi' and that's it! I don't know him at all or have any reason work related or otherwise to speak to him!

Do you need a script? How about this one. I'm calling him John for convenience, and I've called you Sharon.

It's getting near to Christmas. He walks in one morning, towards your desk:

You: "Hi John. Somebody told me you're finishing up here shortly, is that right?"

John: "Yes Sharon, I'm finishing in two weeks"

You: "That's too bad, but at least that means you'll be able to ask me out in two weeks' time"


He can take it as a joke, or he can ignore it because he has a gf, or he can grow a pair and ask you out at Christmas.



Be at peace,

Z