Why can't she get me off?

LegacyUser

Hey boys and girls I need some advice on a sexy question. I'm a lesbian and have been going out with my girlfriend for roughly six months now. Everything is really good and I love her a lot....we kind of have one small problem however. She can never make me come through fingering or licking out. I get really wet, I get really excited then just loose it.

She is starting to think that maybe she is missing something that I am looking for...but I know thats not the case. I get turned on just thinking about her. I am so attracted to her, and think she is incredibly sexual.

I think the problem may be to do with the fact that anytime I masturbated I used a toy and never my own fingers....and now maybe thats the sensation I'm looking for from her...but obviously cannot replicate.

I really want to fix this as I really don't want her feeling bad as I know the problem is in me. She does make me come through humping so yay for that....but has anyone else gone through this?

LegacyUser

I get really wet myself and my gf and never make me cum. I feel ur pain.

rainbow kirby

Have you thought about using toys with your GF?

Kanoe

wish I was a sexpert and had all the answers and was on the telly..but I'm not. If it's something you've experienced with other people then scrap what I'm going to say next, if it's not then don't worry about it, not all women do and definitely not every time. Sometimes it helps to just let go of the expectation and enjoy it for what it is. I know I was going to say something else but I've forgotten what it was.

edit:oh yeah I remembered.. I don't own any toys, once when I was feeling down a friend told me to go get myself a rabbit and my honest to god response was but I already have a dog. True story.

But if you find you get there other ways then maybe it's just a case of not receiving enough pressure, toys are designed to give deep stimulation but it can still be done manually.

I recommend taking a look into tantric sex. its pretty much about getting to the point you're at where there is an accumulation of sexual energy and then deepening it with a breathing technique. It will help you get to a point of harmonisation with your partner and grant you an almost out of body experience at the point of orgasm. (I say point of orgasm but tantric sex is about trying not to cum...and y'know how when you're trying really hard not to do something..)

LegacyUser

Hey. I know what you mean, this happens me sometimes- the fact that you can come through humping but not fingers or tongue suggests to me that you need much firmer pressure over a larger area than you're usually getting. You also might, in a weird way, be getting 'too wet'.

My advice is that you need to find a way to make sure it's HER that makes you come, so you guys can both get your confidence back. Do whatever you do (humping, vibes, toys) to get yourself to 'that point' and when you're just about to come, grab her hand and make sure it's her touching you when it happens. do that a few times, you start to get used to the feeling of fingers touching you when you come, and it'll get easier from there.

But i will say as final advice- try and relax. in a weird way you're probably both expecting you to not come, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's not easy, but try relax.

Kanoe

goingunreg! wrote: »

in a weird way you're probably both expecting you to not come, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's not easy, but try relax.

ta, you managed to say in lesser sentences what I was trying to above. I found I fare better once I let go of expectations though, but I' like that with everything in general. If I have them I feel like I'm bound to be disappointed.

I could talk about sex all day, think maybe I should subscribe for access to s&s forum

LegacyUser

Hi there,

I am in a simular situation as yourself. However I am a straight girl, and love my bf, and we have great sex, however lately I have been using sex toys a lot more, and then when he is touching me, I get all excited and loose it aswell.

I did hear somewhere, that you can get way to use to that particular sensation, and makes it harder to orgasm without it. However I found that when I didnt use it for a period, I was capable of having an orgasm with my partner quicker. And we have used the toys aswell several times together.

Maybe just try building it up a little longer, and help her touch you, show her how much or how little pressure you need.

Best of luck, Im sure it will get better.

dyingtocome wrote: »

Hey boys and girls I need some advice on a sexy question. I'm a lesbian and have been going out with my girlfriend for roughly six months now. Everything is really good and I love her a lot....we kind of have one small problem however. She can never make me come through fingering or licking out. I get really wet, I get really excited then just loose it.

She is starting to think that maybe she is missing something that I am looking for...but I know thats not the case. I get turned on just thinking about her. I am so attracted to her, and think she is incredibly sexual.

I think the problem may be to do with the fact that anytime I masturbated I used a toy and never my own fingers....and now maybe thats the sensation I'm looking for from her...but obviously cannot replicate.

I really want to fix this as I really don't want her feeling bad as I know the problem is in me. She does make me come through humping so yay for that....but has anyone else gone through this?

rainbow kirby

zinx wrote: »

All you need is a good mickey.Try that and dont be messing with that auld lezzy carry on.Its just not natural

Banned for 7 days. We don't take too kindly to trolls around here.

From the charter:

Stark wrote: »

The following subjects are not kosher for discussion:

Paedophilia, (Ep)hebophilia(except in the context of safety for homosexual youth), bible-bashing(we're well aware of the religious stance on homosexuality) , discussions on whether homosexuality is natural or unnatural or related materials.

Any such posts will be immediately deleted and posters will face banning.

Dwn Wth Vwls

It sounds like you've never masturbated without toys? If you can't get yourself off with just your fingers, it's not really surprising that your gf can't. You should probably stop using toys for a while and see if you can just use your fingers. Once you manage that, you can tell your gf how to do it for you.