how do i know a 1st date went well????

nowayout1

Hey I was on a date with a nice Scandinavian girl tonight, we met up at the spire and headed towards Fitzsimon's in Temple Bar, loads of people there on a Thursday night, i bought her, her drinks as well as mine got seats easily conversation was very easy to talk to each other, only had about 1 moment of silence, there for almost 2-3 hours. went on a walk around town for about an hour then got a bus back, she goes to Griffith College so i said goodbye with a hug and suggested maybe a second date and she said she'd meet up next Fri went i'm getting my tattoo done and then I got a taxi home. no kisses though should i be worried about that? what should i do on the next date same thing or just head Stephens green park for a quick walk and chat maybe a kiss then a bar?

TheRiddler

nowayout1 wrote: »

Hey I was on a date with a nice Scandinavian girl tonight, we met up at the spire and headed towards Fitzsimon's in Temple Bar, loads of people there on a Thursday night, i bought her, her drinks as well as mine got seats easily conversation was very easy to talk to each other, only had about 1 moment of silence, there for almost 2-3 hours. went on a walk around town for about an hour then got a bus back, she goes to Griffith College so i said goodbye with a hug and suggested maybe a second date and she said she'd meet up next Fri went i'm getting my tattoo done and then I got a taxi home. no kisses though should i be worried about that? what should i do on the next date same thing or just head Stephens green park for a quick walk and chat maybe a kiss then a bar?

Don't be worrying too much about her having a good time. If you enjoy yourself and you had a good time then chances are she felt the same way. If there were no awkward silences that's good. Going on a walk for an hour and her not bailing seems that see wanted to be with you. Don't worry about kisses that will come in time, maybe she is shy about that or she wants you to do it first etc. On the next date go somewhere quieter so you can talk and get to know each other but have fun at the same time

Wolfe Tone

She is probably thinking the same thing.

johnn

I would be worrying if after a few pints i didnt get a score. Did you get the score when you first met in a nightclub or whatever?

nowayout1

TheRiddler wrote: »

Don't be worrying too much about her having a good time. If you enjoy yourself and you had a good time then chances are she felt the same way. If there were no awkward silences that's good. Going on a walk for an hour and her not bailing seems that see wanted to be with you. Don't worry about kisses that will come in time, maybe she is shy about that or she wants you to do it first etc. On the next date go somewhere quieter so you can talk and get to know each other but have fun at the same time

cheers i might head some were quieter, any ideal places? she admitted she that she does get nervous on dates, but when i asked did she have a good night she said she had a great night, i didn't want to act to fast and scare her away but next date i'm gonna be a bit more forward and be more of myself

johnn wrote: »

I would be worrying if after a few pints i didnt get a score. Did you get the score when you first met in a nightclub or whatever?

didn't score when i met her, she asked for directions and i was heading that way so i asked her for her number and exchanged numbers

Mackman

When ye parted ways, did she look back at you? If she did, she definatly had a good time.

Sounds like she did anyway, she suggested a time for the second date, very good sign

madmac187

Went out with an Austrian girl in college (firmly convinced the one that got away) while she was here, she was very quiet when we went out together and stuff like that but conversation flowed after. I think they have a different approach to dating than that of other women, they can be shy but are lovely. I still talk to her on the net now even after 4 years and we still get on very well.

nowayout1

madmac187 wrote: »

Went out with an Austrian girl in college (firmly convinced the one that got away) while she was here, she was very quiet when we went out together and stuff like that but conversation flowed after. I think they have a different approach to dating than that of other women, they can be shy but are lovely. I still talk to her on the net now even after 4 years and we still get on very well.

Cheers dude for the advice, when she was sitting listening she was making herself look really attractive and nice.I think they have a different approach to dating. I don't want to be needy and attached to her.

Mackman wrote: »

When ye parted ways, did she look back at you? If she did, she definatly had a good time.

Sounds like she did anyway, she suggested a time for the second date, very good sign

She didn't look back but when I asked she said she had a good time dunno if she's saying that so she doesn't feel too bad.no has said a time but my tatto appointment is at 4 so I guess around 4 I'll meet her, were'd I go after the tattoo studio any ideas?

madmac187

Main thing is this. She suggested the time for another meet, during the end of the date so she had fun. Don't over think it. And don't be suprised if she even doesn't kiss you this time either, from what I know they like someone with a bit of manners because they don't normally get a guy with them.

Gerry Manderer

Depends how long she has been in Dublin

If she is new here sounds like she is looking for a tour guide/ someone who will introduce her to the city

Foreign girls are hard to read, she could be into friendship and not a lot more

First time is fine but make sure you are definitely not buying all the drinks on these get togethers that would be my advice.

Khannie

nowayout1 wrote: »

didn't score when i met her, she asked for directions and i was heading that way so i asked her for her number and exchanged numbers

That's good work right there. I like it.

Diapason

Sounds like it went well, but make sure you don't end up in the FriendZone.

Gerry Manderer

Diapason wrote: »

Sounds like it went well, but make sure you don't end up in the FriendZone.

Yes but don't be taken for a ride (metaphorically speaking), always be a nice guy to a lady but never be a stupid guy

johnn

Diapason wrote: »

Sounds like it went well, but make sure you don't end up in the FriendZone.

To do this you need to make sure you aren't a "Nice Guy".

L31mr0d

It's hard to tell with Scandinavians. They can sometimes be more polite and seem more reserved than other places in Europe. I know this tends to be especially true in Denmark and Sweden.

It's not a generalization, just a rule of thumb from my own experiences and my friends from Ireland that live in Scandinavia.

So if she isn't obviously flirting with you, it might not mean anything. It might just be her personality.

Are you meeting up with her after you get your tattoo? I will say this though, going to watch you get a tattoo seems more like a friend date to me. If a girl asked me to come watch her try on clothes I'd assume I was firmly in the friendzone.

nowayout1

L31mr0d wrote: »

It's hard to tell with Scandinavians. They can sometimes be more polite and seem more reserved than other places in Europe. I know this tends to be especially true in Denmark and Sweden.

It's not a generalization, just a rule of thumb from my own experiences and my friends from Ireland that live in Scandinavia.

So if she isn't obviously flirting with you, it might not mean anything. It might just be her personality.

Are you meeting up with her after you get your tattoo? I will say this though, going to watch you get a tattoo seems more like a friend date to me. If a girl asked me to come watch her try on clothes I'd assume I was firmly in the friendzone.

she's from sweden, i'd say it'll be around 6 when i meet up with her allow for a 2 hour sitting, i know guys that have gone off with girls to try on clothes and they got together as the girl was testing can the guy deal with her trying oh clothes and then not buying them

HavingCrack

Hmmmm, I always go in for the kiss on the 1st date to know for sure one way or another. Anyway definately go for the kiss the next time you're together and you'll have your answer. Good luck

nowayout1

HavingCrack wrote: »

Hmmmm, I always go in for the kiss on the 1st date to know for sure one way or another. Anyway definately go for the kiss the next time you're together and you'll have your answer. Good luck

i always kiss on a first date but this time i wasn't sure to do it or not, but I'm most defianetly going to kiss when i see her again, hopefully before next friday

johnn

Make sure you never go on a "Day Date".

L31mr0d

nowayout1 wrote: »

i know guys that have gone off with girls to try on clothes and they got together as the girl was testing can the guy deal with her trying oh clothes and then not buying them

Sounds like some kind of hell tbh. I remember seeing a study that concluded that mens bodies go under less stress when they are in a warzone than when they are out shopping with their OH's.

Also, I'd imagine this thread is over thinking the whole date a tad. If you have it in your head that you have to end the date with a kiss it could mess it up. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Don't try and orchestrate a moment for it to happen when she doesn't appear to be game. Just play it by ear and if a moment happens, go for it.

Logical Fallacy

johnn wrote: »

To do this you need to make sure you aren't a "Nice Guy".

Rubbish, to do this you just gotta not be a ****ing idiot and make a move on her. There is no such thing as a "Nice guy", there are just blokes who can't make a move on a woman and then get bitter about it.

honorisloyalty

She probably wanted you to seize her passionately in your arms, kiss her tenderly and deeply on her mouth and carry her away over your shoulder to your bed where you should have made passionate love to her.
She's probably wondering what the hell is wrong with you!:D
You should at least have got a kiss.
A beautiful women like this probably has her choice of men so you have to make your move before another more courageous lover steals her away.
What are you waiting for? You have her in the bag already only you don't know it!

Galvasean

L31mr0d wrote: »

If you have it in your head that you have to end the date with a kiss it could mess it up. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Don't try and orchestrate a moment for it to happen when she doesn't appear to be game. Just play it by ear and if a moment happens, go for it.

Good advice IMO. Don't let the urge to get that kiss distract you too much.

Nervous Wreck

nowayout1 wrote: »

she said she had a great night

That woulda been the first clue tbh.

johnn

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

That woulda been the first clue tbh.

Could have been lying, you never know. She was hardly going to say to the OP she had a Shit night with him, she would only say that to her mates.

Gerry Manderer

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

That woulda been the first clue tbh.

Sure why wouldn't she she didn't pay for a drink all night from what I gather

magneticimpulse

Is she actually looking for a relationship? You say she is a student in Griffin college. I doubt she will stay in Ireland after her course. Im a student in France and plan to feck off the minute its finished. Sure im going on dates with some guys in France...but I just like a chat, maybe a free beer or dinner and thats it. No intention what so ever of ever settling down in this country, despite going on dates...even if i met the man of my dreams i would not like to stay in a foreign country. Futhermore i met up with friends tonight. An English guy and a French woman who recently had a kid 6 weeks ago. He absolutely hates it in France and they argued the whole night at the party. Id hate to be ever that sort of mixed race couple where you cant decide which country you should live in.

So maybe she has no intention of a relationship? You will have to ask her how long she plans to stay in Ireland.

Also did she not offer to buy you a drink? I would always offer to buy someone a drink/go 50 50

Also Fitzsimons is a dire place to go to even with friends visiting from other countries. Late alone a date...would never go on a night out there with friends and definitely never there on a date. You cant actually be from Dublin to go there. Pubs like the Duke on Duke Street or off Grafton St or the Central Pub on O Connell st...even O Neills pub on Sufolk St are way better. Quite frankly anywhere in Temple bar is a no go for Dublin people on a normal night out...but as regards dates its a complete no no. If you want a pub maybe the ones i mentioned...but better yet go out for dinner somewhere (and not in Templebar). Especially since she is foreign, she prob prefers eating out, rather then going to a pub as its not very romantic.

Emme

The way things are in this country, the OP could do worse than to go to Sweden.

Scandinavians tend to be reserved and have nice manners. I don't know about Swedes, but Danish guys are gentleman so I'd say she's used to guys with good manners. I think the OP did right at the end of the night to hold back.

I think dating people from other countries is a good thing even if the person isn't "the one".

spadesaspade

johnn wrote: »

To do this you need to make sure you aren't a "Nice Guy".

Just smack her on the ass on your second date and see what responce you get

Screaminmidget

spadesaspade wrote: »

Just smack her on the ass on your second date and see what responce you get

Make sure it's her though. i was in a tricky situation once ......

Nervous Wreck

johnn wrote: »

Could have been lying, you never know. She was hardly going to say to the OP she had a Shit night with him, she would only say that to her mates.

If a girl tells you she had a great night and your first thought is "Hmm, she might be lying," I think you have bigger issues to worry about.

homerun_homer

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

If a girl tells you she had a great night and your first thought is "Hmm, she might be lying," I think you have bigger issues to worry about.

Ah but you see what leads one to think so negatively is from having numberous dates that end that way -positively, only to get knocked back after.

Nervous Wreck

homerun_homer wrote: »

Ah but you see what leads one to think so negatively is from having numberous dates that end that way -positively, only to get knocked back after.

While I understand the crapness of that, it's not something that anyone should allow get to them. If you take such things so personally that they negatively affect your confidence in the long-term, then you're losing a battle. I understand if something like that happens, you take a little knock to your confidence but it's so important to get over it and put it behind you. Allowing it to turn you into a sceptical, paranoid mess is counterproductive and will only serve to make you a more bitter person (and as such, less likely to actually have very many good dates after that!).

homerun_homer

Nervous Wreck wrote: »

Allowing it to turn you into a sceptical, paranoid mess is counterproductive and will only serve to make you a more bitter person (and as such, less likely to actually have very many good dates after that!).

Think you're on to something here. I may be pegged.

CDfm

OP -just out of interest -have you ever met her again.

Update is long overdue ;);)

Zaffy

If you have to ask then it probably didn't...

spitfireIRL

L31mr0d wrote: »

Sounds like some kind of hell tbh. I remember seeing a study that concluded that mens bodies go under less stress when they are in a warzone than when they are out shopping with their OH's.

Link?!?!? This I have to see!

CDfm

Zaffy wrote: »

If you have to ask then it probably didn't...

Ah , I was chewing my nails in anticipation , but then I am a bit of a romantic

Josh_Calvert

A first date means nothing.Even if it went well it just means she MIGHT give you a chance do put even more effort in later on a second date.Generally speaking unless you're dating a girl from a shared social context with friends in common, you will have to work your ass off to make it go anywhere.

A good tip however is to CASUALLY slip in some really 'deep' stuff and some 'funny' borderline risque humour into the date and make sure the first date is no longer than 3hrs MAX. A 90 minute date where you're in control will have her calling you back....a longer mediocre date will have her meh.