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Can't forget him.

  • 19-11-2010 1:09am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I first met my ex when I was 16, he was 20; we only saw each other for about 4 months. Throughout the years we've drifted apart and then back to each other, meeting up occasionally regardless of whether we were attached at the time or not. Out of all the people Ive met through the years, he's the one that knows me inside out and has always been there for me.
    He got married 3 years ago and i thought i'd hear no more but was mistaken. He contacted me within his first year of marriage and has been in contact with me regularly every 3/4 months since then. Several times he has instigated meeting and ashamedly, I have relented and met him. nothing more than a chat and a kiss ever happened. I detest myself for my weakness towards him but i just cant seem to say no. We have a real connection that seems like it will never go away, even he comments on it. Since i met him 10 years ago he has never been far from my thoughts and all my boyfriends in between have never measured up. He's fully in under my skin, when i know i need to forget him but just can't!!!! we've also never slept together which is also something thats there!! need some advice as to how to rid my thoughts of him and move on for good!!!


Comments

  • #2
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,440 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    You may not ever be able to really forget him. Few adults don't have someone from their past that they can't forget. But if you want to move on then you've gotta toughen up and do just that; move on.

    I'm thinking from the language that you use in your post that you believe that this "connection" that the two of you have somehow means that you are destined to be together. This is not so. No-one is destined for anything. We can't choose who we fall for (F***ed if I can figure out how that one works!), but we choose what we do & who we do and don't stay with. All of our actions are choices.

    This guy is married to someone else. He shouldn't be going behind his wife's back and kissing you. It doesn't matter that he has not slept with you. There is nothing romantic about this. It's sleazy.

    I don't know if he still loves you, is just getting some kind of ego trip out of your meetings, or what. He's been married for 4 years. He's not chosen to be with you and it is doubtful that he will.

    Make an adult decision now. Either cut him from your life and start living with the knowledge that you will never be together or choose to have an affair and the consequences that it will bring for three people. It's time to take your head out of the clouds and stop behaving like the herione of a romantic novel.

    Get real and make a choice and live with the results.


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