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How to stop being a w*nker

  • 18-11-2010 6:20pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Well, I am a w*nker to girls not intentionally but I always finds my self having to apologies because I say something without meaning it. For example today there was no parking spaces on disabled and I said f*cking cappers.

    Obviously I have heard the think before you speak and all that but it just doesn't help. I can't have a conversation because I just end up slagging other people and it has made a complete mess of my life and I just dont want to be a w*nker cause I know its because of my own insecurities.

    How can I stop being a w*nker?


Comments

  • #2
    suckmyloli
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 124 ✭✭suckmyloli


    I am by no means an expert or even know much about mental conditions, but since no one else has replied, I'll throw in 2 cent. Perhaps you have some sort of mental problem that makes you unable to stop yourself from saying things you want to think in your head. However, since you mentioned insecurities I would be enclined to think this is the problem. From my own experience of being a mega bitch ( I would not really slag people just correct them which they hate) counseling is what you need. End of. You need someone to really show you how you are and why you are that way.


  • #3
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/faq.php?faq=bie_faq_guidelines#faq_bie_faq_guidelines_medicalpro
    Don't diagnose anyone on the site either. You simply can’t and we don’t want you doing it. Don't do it.


  • #4
    Reesy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 716 ✭✭✭Reesy


    Well, when I realise I've been a w*nker by being rude to somebody, if I can contact the person I force myself to apologise to them. Makes me feel small at the time but actually I find it quite cathartic.

    Like rubbing a puppy's nose in the wee it left on the floor, I find it do learn me.

    Suggest you try it.


  • #5
    php-fox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 168 ✭✭php-fox


    Why do you need to stop?
    Accept who you are and enjoy it.
    That's what I do :P


  • #6
    Nulty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,838 ✭✭✭Nulty


    php-fox wrote: »
    Why do you need to stop?
    Accept who you are and enjoy it.
    That's what I do :P

    I think he feels he's pushing people away when really he actually wants to get on with people. Its a defensive reflex that some people cannot help. They are afraid of intimacy or 'closeness', or are unfulfilled and slightly resentful so they act on other people as they feel about themselves. I went through a stage of this so in my experience that is what happened. I can relate to the OP in that I wasn't happy with the way I was and personally realised that it wasn't other people that was the peoblem it was in fact me. I came to accept my shortcomings and I found this helped me overcome 'being a wanker'. It could be different for the OP but I somehow doubt it

    Upon reaching this conclusion I decided to change and try to be myself without the baggage...and if I'm right, the OP wants to drop his baggage too.


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  • #7
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,218 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    If you can make the decision to start, you can equally make the decision to stop.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • #8
    daithimac
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 515 ✭✭✭daithimac


    Your problem is not that you speak your mind but that you have friends who have a problem with this.

    I used to have a friend who took great exception to any comment I would make which she found objectionable. It too me a while to realise that the problem was not what I was saying but rather her.

    Be yourself and don't get into the habit of censoring yourself. you will end up becoming some unhappy soulless chud just to make some simp you don't really care about more comforable in your presence.


  • #9
    Jenneke87
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 807 ✭✭✭Jenneke87


    I have this too, only I'm female and seem to have a gift for offending everybody, be if male or female:( To me it mostly happens when i'm annoyed and whatever annoys me gets a piece of my mind, no matter how hard I try to stop it, at some point it feels like I'm going to burst inside and I just blurt it out.

    I can't really offer you any advice, but I do understand how awkard it can be sometimes(not to mention all the apologizing sometimes and getting people to realise you really didn't meant it that way)


  • #10
    SerialComplaint
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,644 ✭✭✭SerialComplaint


    Fedupidiot wrote: »
    Well, I am a w*nker to girls not intentionally but I always finds my self having to apologies because I say something without meaning it. For example today there was no parking spaces on disabled and I said f*cking cappers.
    Were you planning on using a disabled parking space? Do you have a disabled parking pass?


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