Girl that I kissed thinks I'm gay

LegacyUser

I was out the other night and met this really attractive girl. We kissed for the best part of an hour. She complemented me on my looks and seemed quite interested. I was out with a few mates at the time and while I was with this girl, one of the guys game up talking to me. I probably spoke with him for about 5 minutes just talking random stuff...as you do after a few drinks. The girl was there the whole time.

After a few minutes she got up and said she had to go to the toilet and would be back. While I was still talking to this guy I got a text from her saying that she wasn't sure what was up with me and that guy and that she had to leave. I was a bit shocked. I met her again at the end of the night and she began to question my sexuality, saying that she had it in her head that I was gay. I am 100% straight and have never even thought about being with the opposite sex.

We shared a taxi home and kissed again but I could sense that she still wasn't so sure that I was telling her the truth. I have since requested to be friends on facebook but she has ignored me thus far. I guess that isn't a great sign...

What worries me is that a girl that I was going out with previously also asked me if I was gay. This was about 2 months into our relationship. We sorted it out and our relationship lasted another 5 months. We broke up due to a distance issue. I don't really know why some girls might think I might be gay. I'm just wondering if people think this situation is retrievable as she was a really nice girl and I would like to meet her again.

Any advice would be welcomed...thanks

Handsome Bob

Hi OP,

It's a strange one alright in the sense that two people have said to you. I'd imagine it's probably down to how you hold yourself around with other blokes. You're probably just relaxed and not afraid to lean in close when talking to other blokes. I would be the same really.

Don't worry though, it's quite immature of those women to come to such a conclusion about you just over that. It's not something you should have to change, absolutely nothing wrong with it.

LegacyUser

People thinking you're gay when you're not is weird, but since its happened before there is something there that is making people think that way.

Its probably something you are doing sub-conciously when you are drunk and you dont notice it. Probably too touchy feely with people both guys and girls or you act camper when drunk. Nothing wrong with how you act but if its going to affect your love life you may need to get it sorted.

Ask a close friend (male or female) would they know why or if thats not available just try to be more aware of your actions on nights out and see if there are anything you do that could be seen as camp.

LegacyUser

Nothing wrong if your a slightly effeminate bloke and/or not falling into the macho sterotype of what a red blooded testosterone male should be . If these women can't accept you for your body language are then its their problem.

I hate it when people sterotype what the definition of a gay male or a straight one should be, its very narrow minded. You know your straight and you know you like women. Everything else about how you hold yourself and act around them is irrelevant. You just need to find the right people who like you for who you are, and dont judge you on these idosyncratics (unique to us all btw) .

Bottle_of_Smoke

A few years ago I was friends with a gay guy. A while later I started seeing a girl he was friends with. I think he got jealous of this, that I was taking his friend away from him. We gradually stopped contacting one another.

Anyway about a year later a few people asked if I was gay, all from circles of friends who would live somewhat near or be in a circle of friends connected to the gay guy.

I met up with the girl I had been seeing at the time a year or so later, she told me the gay guy had told some people that I had been kissing him and left him for the girl. Completely untrue but some people probably still believe it.

So perhaps some twat started a rumour and it snowballed, with some peopel thinking it was fact.

If that girl adds you I'd request why she thought you were gay.

LegacyUser

Im 100% straight and have never questioned my sexuality but many people think im gay and sometimes i have a hard time convincing them im not

the people that think im gay are the ones that dont really know me, and the reason why they think im gay is because of how i appear and act

clothes; ive no problem walking down the street wearing white sunglasses, although some people are embarrased to be seen with me
i wear stuff like a grey pinstripe suit with a matching fedora hat
my favorite colours to wear are pink and black, on a night out my first choice of clothes to wear would be a sharp italian black suit with a pink shirt with a wide open collar

i LOVE to go shopping

it takes me ages to get ready to go out, usually 1 1/2 to 2 hours

i dance like a gay, so im told

when im drunk im very handsey, as in when im talking i gesture alot with my hands, but im very protective of my personal space

i have a good few close friends that a women

i suppose what ive been told by narrow minded people is that straight men cannot, have interest in fashion, care how they look, spend any time caring how they look and cannot be friends with women!

theres a few other reasons that people think im gay that i cant think of, but these are the main ones, perhaps op you are doing some of these things to make people think your gay. it used to bother me alot in the start, especially if i wanted to get with a girl but she thought i was gay, i used to get upset over it, but now im fine with it and its a running joke now, ive no problem admitting im flamboyant. ive a close circle of male friends, 14 of us have been friends since sec school and when people that didnt know me thought i was gay i asked the guys did they think i was gay thet thought it was ridiculous
and also to add im currently in a long term relationship with a girl who i intend to marry who when i first met was 100% certain i was gay and it took alot of effort to convince her om not but it was worth it

LegacyUser

Thanks for the feedback to date.

Yes I guess I should look at how I act when I'm out for a few drinks. The strange thing is that I'm actually a little homophobic (sorry if I offend anyone). Even amongst my own friends, if one of them put their hand on my shoulder when talking to me I brush them off in a subtle way. Not that I dislike gay people. I have one or two gay friends from Uni that I still keep in touch with. It's just when people touch you I become a little homophobic.

Even when I'm out, I dress normally enough...no flamboyant colours and certainly not white sunglasses...sorry theythinkimgaytoo I'm glad to hear your persistance paid off. Maybe that can be a lesson for me.

I've been told that I do look like a well known face on TV that is gay so maybe that's something to do with it. I might ask a few friends what they think as well.

Thanks again....although I'd like to hear a female's perspective if any are willing to share their thoughts...I'm not sure of the sex of some of those who have responded thus far.

cafecolour

Well, to be blunt, did you have a hard-on while you were kissing her? Was she in a position to 'feel' it if so (i.e. intertwined with you or sitting on your lap)?

Not that I'm saying you should be grinding like mad - but maybe she didn't think you were aroused when kissing her.

LighterGuy

It could be that you are unbeknowingly sending off gay-vibes.... or It could just be that you've encountered idiots.

Whats the most common things you hear about when people think another could be gay? ... He never married or that guy never has a girl (usually in the latter the person is thought upon of not able to get a girl :rolleyes: but at times people think he would be gay)

Certain people are idiots. Fact is your know your straight and these people dont have a clue.