Really need help!

LegacyUser

I'm hoping someone can offer me some advice...

I am a female in my mid- 20's, in college now for the past four years. I have struggled for the most of my life with my weight (think I am now 21 stone!), depression to the point of numerious occasions of self-harm (which I still do!) and witnessed alot of domestic violence as a child and in my teenage years.

I am really struggling at the minute, and I don't know where to turn. I was on medication for almost two years and have been taken off them over the last six weeks or more! I have also seen numerious profesionals, councellors, psyciatrists, psychotherapists (sp?) and my own GP, all of which have been great but I don't feel in the past two years that I have resolved any of my issues...

My weight has dramatically increased, some days I feel downer and downer and I am now self harming more than I have ever done before...

I am in limbo, my college work is really suffering, I am now in third year and off on work placement early next year...and I don't think I will be able to cope. I can barely get out of bed in the morning or even turn my head off when I lie down at night...

Anyone have any idea as to what I should do? Anything would be appreciated...

Sorry about the moan!

Odysseus

I'mAdisaster! wrote: »

I'm hoping someone can offer me some advice...

I am a female in my mid- 20's, in college now for the past four years. I have struggled for the most of my life with my weight (think I am now 21 stone!), depression to the point of numerious occasions of self-harm (which I still do!) and witnessed alot of domestic violence as a child and in my teenage years.

I am really struggling at the minute, and I don't know where to turn. I was on medication for almost two years and have been taken off them over the last six weeks or more! I have also seen numerious profesionals, councellors, psyciatrists, psychotherapists (sp?) and my own GP, all of which have been great but I don't feel in the past two years that I have resolved any of my issues...

My weight has dramatically increased, some days I feel downer and downer and I am now self harming more than I have ever done before...

I am in limbo, my college work is really suffering, I am now in third year and off on work placement early next year...and I don't think I will be able to cope. I can barely get out of bed in the morning or even turn my head off when I lie down at night...

Anyone have any idea as to what I should do? Anything would be appreciated.

Sorry about the moan!

Back to basics OP, re-conect with the professionals that helped you in the past;they should be happy to started over againin the meantime focuson you mtivation/desire to chanhe. . Try work on your motivation amd try to increase your desire to change your life. Best of luck with it.

MUSEIST

Hey OP. I think you should probably go back to your doc to get things sorted out. I know how much of a struggle things can be with depression and little things seem very daunting. Sorry I cant't be of any real help but best of luck:)

LegacyUser

Thing is I am still in contact with them...They do know, it's just that I'm kind of under exaggerating what is actually going on.

I don't find that I'm getting any good out of any of them, in any sence...

I feel that I can't be any more open with them about my situation, it's difficult!

sam34

I'mAdisaster! wrote: »

Thing is I am still in contact with them...They do know, it's just that I'm kind of under exaggerating what is actually going on.

I don't find that I'm getting any good out of any of them, in any sence...

I feel that I can't be any more open with them about my situation, it's difficult!

how exactly do you expect them to help you if they do not know what is really going on?

0lddog

sam34 wrote: »

how exactly do you expect .................?

Has somebody had a bad day then ?:mad:

sam34

0lddog wrote: »

Has somebody had a bad day then ?:mad:

not at all.

i'm just astounded that the op apparently does not see the connection between the following two statements:

I'mAdisaster! wrote: »

it's just that I'm kind of under exaggerating what is actually going on

I'mAdisaster! wrote: »

I don't find that I'm getting any good out of any of them, in any sence..

the psych team are being asked to sort things out but are only getting half the info yet are then criticised for not helping.

i presume (hope) that if the OP had a broken leg that she would want the treating surgeon to see the Xrays before operating...

LegacyUser

I feel too intimidated to say what I want to say, otherwise I would have said things a long time ago! They do know the jist of the story...but probably not to the full extent to what they need to know.

I just find it difficult....

graflynn

I'mAdisaster! wrote: »

I feel too intimidated to say what I want to say, otherwise I would have said things a long time ago! They do know the jist of the story...but probably not to the full extent to what they need to know.

I just find it difficult....

Don't give up! It can be difficult to find a medical team who really understands. And remember that it took 20 years for all of these problems to build up so it will take time and effort to resolve them all.

Don't give up!

SeaSide

sam34 wrote: »

not at all.

i'm just astounded that the op apparently does not see the connection between the following two statements:

the psych team are being asked to sort things out but are only getting half the info yet are then criticised for not helping.

i presume (hope) that if the OP had a broken leg that she would want the treating surgeon to see the Xrays before operating...

I can understand where you are coming from but perhaps the OP does not trust or does not have confidence in the medical team.

dollydishmop

SeaSide wrote: »

I can understand where you are coming from but perhaps the OP does not trust or does not have confidence in the medical team.

If that is the case, then, IMVHO, the OP needs to change her medical team...its her health, her life...

LegacyUser

OP, I know what you mean by not feeling able to open up fully.

i'm seeing a great woman at the moment. The way she works things is to ask me to tell her something really uncomfortable and only spend one minute on it.

I opened up recently about something that has been making me fill physically ill for a long time, something very emotional and very difficult for me to admit, even to myself. But 60 seconds is gone in the blink of an eye!

The world didn't stop when i told her, i felt about 5 stone lighter! I can't believe how i feel since i admitted just that little bit to her.

i already know what my next uncomfortable to say/discuss thing is and i honestly can't wait to say it out loud!

OP, don't give up, I gave up for nearly 3 years and stopped seeing her, and boy do i regret it now, i could be so much further ahead in my recovery....but i got the strength together to go back and i'm so glad i did.

post back here if you want her name and number and i'll post under my real ID and you can PM me.

i'm thinking of you, and i'm sure lots of other people are reading your post and are now thinking of you too.

LegacyUser

forgot to say, you need to feel and be in a safe and loving place to open up to someone and admit all the things that are going through your mind, and bringing you down.

I have never felt more safe or loved than I do feel for that one hour a week when i get to open up, knowing that i'm not going to be laughed at, or shouted at, or told that what i'm feeling or thinking is wrong or selfish or awful.

its the best feeling ever to know that you are being listened to, and taken seriously, and that all the other person wants is to help you and hold your hand through it all.

i can't accurately describe how i feel when i leave at the end of that hour. It's the best feeling ever, and it lasts me though the rest of the week and keeps me strong.

i would recommend it for everyone

neelyohara

I have to agree with Sam34. You won't progress until you are open with your treatment team.

There really is no soft, cushy way around it. If you genuinely want help you are going to have to bite the bullet and be frank with what is happening in your life right now.

I've been there and done that. It's no easy and it's scary as hell but it's the ONLY way you'll get help.

Trust me, it's the only way forward.

If you think you'll chicken out or that you'll leave out some information perhaps you'd think about writing a letter - even bullet points - covering what you're going through. At least then you just have to hand it over to who ever you are dealing with. You don't have to worry about going into details or trying to remember everything.

Best of luck