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Stress causing old problems to resurface...

  • 15-11-2010 7:07pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I suppose I just need to vent more than anything, not sure that anybody can offer me any help.

    I'm in my third year in a very intense college course. (30+ contact hours a week, plus a huge assignment load) My course has always been difficult, but they've really upped the ante this year. I'm a smart girl and if that was the only thing on my plate, I'm sure I could cope with it no problem.

    I'm also working 20 hours a week to pay off a student loan. That combined with my college hours means I have 1 day a week to myself. That day is spent playing catch-up with the college work that builds up all week.

    On top of all that, I'm learning to drive, babysitting to earn extra cash and trying to keep up with a pretty rigorous exercise routine to keep my spirits up.

    All that is leaving approximately 0 hours a week chill-out time. I'm exhausted. I've started skipping lectures to keep up with my workload. That in itself isn't a huge deal if it's a few hours a week, but it's becoming more and more frequent.

    Up until the past few weeks I was still managing to head out at least once a week and let my hair down, but lately it's not an option. My working hours aren't the most sociable, and alot of my friends aren't up for going out as much, either due to college/money issues/relationships.

    I feel like I have no life right now. I'm looking forward to a break at Christmas, but afterwards it will only get worse. I've placement next year and have ALOT of work to do to prepare. After placement I have my final exams, followed by my thesis. All I can see ahead of me is a stretch of 2 and a half years of solid work. And then what? Either unemployment or straight into a full time career? I can't face either one. :(

    I suffered badly with depression years ago but felt I had it well behind me. In the past 18 months I developed bulimia, but have had it very much under control the last 2 months after counselling earlier this year.

    I'm at breaking point. In the past couple of weeks I'm suddenly my old self again. Teary and self-conscious, angry at the slightest thing, too tired to care about anything. Getting out of bed in the morning has become such a struggle. I B/Ped today for the first time in a month. That's the longest period I've gone B/P free since this whole thing started. Right now it's not hard to imagine it becoming a daily struggle again.

    I WANT to be proactive and nip this in the bud. But how? I don't have the time, the energy, or the finances to do anything. I'm tired, I'm bored, and I'm lonely. All my friends are under similar pressures right now, but they're all also in relationships. Nobody is noticing or caring that I'm buckling under the pressure. I joke that I hate my life, but it's true.

    I know it could be worse. I know I could be unemployed, or sick, or without a family. But it's not feeling like much of a life right now.

    I can't imagine anyone got this far. I'm sorry if I sound like a brat.


Comments

  • #2
    merlie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 673 ✭✭✭merlie


    Hi Op,
    Firstly you are no brat, you are a person who is feeling the intense strain of trying to cope with all of what is expected of you and from yourself.

    What you need is a solid plan. You would need to talk with a counsellor at your college to form this plan. You cannot continue on this way otherwise something is going to suffer and you do not want it to be your health.

    So contact your college counsellor and sort this out.

    I understand paying off student loans is crucial but also it seems its giving you no time to do things for yourself or to go out with friends. I know how it is when people cannot go out with other friends due to other things as you said, like relationships, financial issues etc. I know as this is the same for me with my friends, so I can relate to that.

    I also think you need, apart from a plan, to give yourself credit for coming through so much and getting on with it. I think you need to go for a coffee with a good friend and have a heart to heart conversation and let her/him know how you are feeling and that things have been a struggle. Your friends will help you.

    Do seek out the counsellor at your college and get some plan going and free up some time for yourself.

    I've learnt to take one thing at a time and not everything all at once.

    Good luck


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