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Whats right and whats wrong

  • 15-11-2010 6:04pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey,

    Going unreg'd for this. Just want to know opinions on the following points and whether or not you guys would put up with it or not.

    *OH's single male friends always commenting on how attractive/not attractive girls are in front of you. Asking your partners opinion of the girls in front of you.

    *OH always going out with single male friends and on the odd occasion when I am invited they spend the night looking around for girls and only including me & partner in topic of who they should hook up with.

    *Joining up to online dating site out of "boredom"

    *Being sick (taken to hospital) and your OH decides to give out to you because you are sick and not comfort you while sick

    Im trying not to go into too much detail so apologies if these dont seem to bad. I have been told that I need to 'get over these things' and that all men do the first 2 things. The 3rd thing was purely out of boredom because he's studying and thought it would be fun. And 4th thing has happened twice and took me a long time to get over, both times. Not my fault at all that I fell sick.

    Anyway any opinions would be great!


Comments

  • #2
    fungun
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    1 and 2 do happen all the time (and he cant control being asked) but most people refrain from doing it in front of the OH. Guess it depends on the reln, I wouldnt do it to my missus, but I could see the argument in terms of 'well why would you hide it from your oh'.

    3 - red flag...if he is not bored now he should close his account.
    4 - red flag...if a lover doesnt care that you are sick, Id question the depth of his feelings.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    whatdoyouthink wrote: »
    *OH's single male friends always commenting on how attractive/not attractive girls are in front of you. Asking your partners opinion of the girls in front of you.

    *OH always going out with single male friends and on the odd occasion when I am invited they spend the night looking around for girls and only including me & partner in topic of who they should hook up with.

    I have been told that I need to 'get over these things' and that all men do the first 2 things.


    Numbers three and four would be totally unacceptable in my book. Immediate 'get rid' offences.

    Number one and two would annoy the hell out of me, and make me wonder what sort of boy (a man wouldn't have friends like these!) am I going out with if he has juvenile friends like these? All men do not do things like his friends do, that's a cop out of an explanation. His friends are just frat boys and haven't grown up yet. Your OH is embarrassed that he's still friends with frat boys, but has tried to turn things around to make it look like you're over reacting. He also hasn't had the decency to tell his friends to cop on when you're around. Looks like his friends come first. So for that reason, numbers one and two are also 'get rid' offences.

    Tell him where to go. You're probably feeling miserable as a result of his actions, and he's wasting your time. There are lovely men out there. He's not one of them.


  • #4
    TitoPuente
    Closed Accounts Posts: 549 ✭✭✭TitoPuente


    whatdoyouthink wrote: »
    *OH's single male friends always commenting on how attractive/not attractive girls are in front of you. Asking your partners opinion of the girls in front of you.

    That just seems single, young lad behaviour. Immature though... and they should know better than to make you (and your OH) uncomfortable in social situations like that.
    whatdoyouthink wrote: »
    *OH always going out with single male friends and on the odd occasion when I am invited they spend the night looking around for girls and only including me & partner in topic of who they should hook up with.

    Again, typical young lad behaviour. They're on the pull. I'd be more concerned about why you're only invited out very occasionally though.
    whatdoyouthink wrote: »
    *Joining up to online dating site out of "boredom"

    MAJOR red flag. This is where you really need to question whether this guy is worth going out with or not. I'd side with not.
    whatdoyouthink wrote: »
    *Being sick (taken to hospital) and your OH decides to give out to you because you are sick and not comfort you while sick

    That's the red card right there. Lose this guy. What an insensitive, uncaring individual. You deserve to be with someone better.


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