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So the government is giving out free drugs to pacify the populace

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  • 15-11-2010 5:42pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 81,917 ✭✭✭✭


    What an interesting coincidence. Are people really leaving narcotics at your front door enticing you to buy? No... but, the goverment is giving away free drugs!

    That's because apparently researchers have known for years the reason we're all addicted to cheese is because it contains trace amount of morphine. The very same cheese they're giving away to you in copious amounts!

    http://gizmodo.com/5690088/why-cheese-is-like-dairy-crack-because-its-got-morphine-in-it
    Last week, I visited a cheese restaurant, where every dish is based around cheese. Before leaving the house, though, I snaffled a slice of brie from the fridge. Is this because a.) I'm a fatty, or b.) cheese is addictive? If you chose both answers, you're right. Turns out that researchers have known since the 1980s that cheese actually contains small amounts of morphine—yes, the very same drug given in hospitals as a hardcore pain relief. It's not added by evil dairy farmers intent on securing their financial futures though, as is actually found naturally in both cow and human milk—which might explain a lot to new mothers who are having trouble shaking off their offspring.
    Not only that, but milk also contains the protein casein, which provokes similar effects to opiates when it's turned into cheese, due to the casomorphins being greater concentrated. It's been previously described as "dairy crack" by the managing director of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, Neal Barnard, who claims that they "reach their peak about 40 minutes after eating." That might go some way to explaining those wild dreams following a late-night cheese quaffing session.
    Those addicted to sausages and chocolate might also find their soft spot for cheese familiar too—this is due to the phenylethylamine chemical which is an amphetamine used in diet pills to simulate the happy feelings you normally get from eating a bar of the brown stuff. Now you know all of this, will it stop you from eating cheese so much? Will it heck... URL="http://www.care2.com/greenliving/cheese-contains-morphine.html"]Care2[/URL

    This hysteria-inducing post was brought to you by Overheal
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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,995 ✭✭✭Sofiztikated


    Overheal wrote: »
    What an interesting coincidence. Are people really leaving narcotics at your front door enticing you to buy? No... but, the goverment is giving away free drugs!

    That's because apparently researchers have known for years the reason we're all addicted to cheese is because it contains trace amount of morphine. The very same cheese they're giving away to you in copious amounts!

    http://gizmodo.com/5690088/why-cheese-is-like-dairy-crack-because-its-got-morphine-in-it

    This hysteria-inducing post was brought to you by Overheal.

    Whats the bets we see this in the Indo in about 3 weeks, slightly reworded to
    Alison wrote: »
    What an interesting coincidence. Are people really leaving narcotics at your front door enticing you to buy? Yes!... And the goverment is giving away free drugs!

    That's because apparently researchers have known for years the reason we're all addicted to cheese is because it contains trace amount of morphine. The very same cheese they're giving away to you in copious amounts!

    http://gizmodo.com/5690088/why-cheese-is-like-dairy-crack-because-its-got-morphine-in-it

    This informative article was brought to you by Alison.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,941 ✭✭✭thebigbiffo


    wonder is there any way i can reduce the cheese down to just it's morphine content? that way, i might just get through this recession...


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,554 ✭✭✭✭alwaysadub


    What if you're allergic to dairy? They'll be left out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,650 ✭✭✭sensibleken


    alwaysadub wrote: »
    What if you're allergic to dairy? They'll be left out.

    Itll be like that movie 'They live' only instead of sunglasses youll need veganism or lactose intollerance to see the truth


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭SugarHigh


    Americans are bloody obsessed with cheese.

    Why would anyone buy cheese in a spray can?


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,379 ✭✭✭Sticky_Fingers


    Scored some primo Kilmeaden earlier today and I'm cheesing my tits off



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