Can't stop texting ex

LegacyUser

My ex broke up with me last January (approx a yr ago) and since then I have found a lot of info on him through the gardai, a lot of serious info, basically he lied to me for the year that I was with him about his past etc.

Anyways when I found out all this info I was fuming. I probably should have left texting him about it but I did and now whenever I have drink on me I ALWAYS text him saying things like "ur a d*ck for lying to me" "go back on the heroin" etc.

I feel terrible the next day when I look through my sent box..

The thing is I'm not actually over him. I'm a good looking girl and I have been going out with people on and off since the breakup but I always revert back to him. I've changed my number twice so as to have a fresh start but both imes I changed it I always end up drunkely texting him it. I've also erased his number from my phone but the problem is I know it off by heart.

I got a text off him on the weekend saying "Swear to God if i din't know you i'd think you were a weirdo but seen as I do know u and you're probably drinking a lot then fair enough, but texting people at 3/4 in the morning isn't exactly the norm you get what i'm saying ". He's an a**hole I hate him so much yet I can't get over it.

I know people are probably going to say "cut back on the drink" or it's simple "just stop texting him" but I seriously can't. And I don't even drink that much ! One or two drinks and I'm gone! I'm a serious lightweight.

I'm also very bitter because in the past few months he's texted me asking me to go looking for apartments with him and when I said yes he said he'd text me to arrange it with me and he never did. He's also texted me saying we should go for a drink and that he'd text me the next day to organise it and once again I would hear nothing back. He's messing with my head and it kills me because he clearly knows I'm not over him.

Any suggestions?

Wibbs

Yes you need to stop and cut him out of your life. It really is that simple. You say you can't? I don't buy that. IMHO that's an excuse for us to keep digging a rut that we get feedback from. It's an emotional habit and you can break it. You have complete control of the actions you take in your life. Unless someone suffers from a mental illness we all do. If you can't get out of this self destructive cycle then maybe some counseling to help you with the tools to do that would help?

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

Yes you need to stop and cut him out of your life. It really is that simple. You say you can't? I don't buy that. IMHO that's an excuse for us to keep digging a rut that we get feedback from. It's an emotional habit and you can break it. You have complete control of the actions you take in your life. Unless someone suffers from a mental illness we all do. If you can't get out of this self destructive cycle then maybe some counseling to help you with the tools to do that would help?

Thanks Wibbs for the advice but I disagree with you. I honestly can't *unless* I stop drinking but I'm not going to stop living my life because of him. I never ever text him sober.

Nevyn

Do you know that if he wanted to he could go to the garda and press charges against you for harassment and he could complain to your phone company and get your account cancelled?

If you are that bent out of shape and angry go talk to someone about it, go see a counsellor and get it all out instead of it coming out when you are drunk and making you abusive.

ztoical

cantstoptextinghim wrote: »

Thanks Wibbs for the advice but I disagree with you. I honestly can't *unless* I stop drinking but I'm not going to stop living my life because of him. I never ever text him sober.

Delete his number then or stop taking your phone out with you if your planning to get pissed.

Like Thaedydal said he has a case for harassment. Honestly if you find your angry at someone you broke up with a year ago then you need to go speak to someone about it.

What were the Gardai doing giving out information on this guy to his ex in the first place?

LegacyUser

ztoical wrote: »

Delete his number then or stop taking your phone out with you if your planning to get pissed.

Like Thaedydal said he has a case for harassment. Honestly if you find your angry at someone you broke up with a year ago then you need to go speak to someone about it.

What were the Gardai doing giving out information on this guy to his ex in the first place?

I could leave it at home but then again that wouldn't be wise in case I needed to call someone. The guard is a very close friend to the family.

ztoical

Cantstoptextinghim wrote: »

I could leave it at home but then again that wouldn't be wise in case I needed to call someone. The guard is a very close friend to the family.

It doesn't matter if the Guard was your own brother giving out information like that is illegal and they could find themselves in a heap load of trouble.

Why haven't you deleted his number if he is an ex of over a year? Delete the number and don't reply to his texts or else leave your phone at home, if you find you are unable to do either of those options then you need to see about getting some counseling to over come your issues with your ex.

LegacyUser

ztoical wrote: »

It doesn't matter if the Guard was your own brother giving out information like that is illegal and they could find themselves in a heap load of trouble.

Why haven't you deleted his number if he is an ex of over a year? Delete the number and don't reply to his texts or else leave your phone at home, if you find you are unable to do either of those options then you need to see about getting some counseling to over come your issues with your ex.

Maybe you should carefully read the OP again where I have already said I deleted his number when we broke up. I said I know it off by heart, that's the problem.

Does anyone know if I am able to get meteor to block me from texting his number?

Sleepy

OP - you need professional help. If you can't accept that it's a simple matter of not texting him in the future and/or not drinking to the point where you lose control of your actions, there's nothing anyone can say to you on this forum that's going to help you.

Sure, maybe someone knows that it's possible to have your phone blocked from contacting someone else's number via your phone provider but that doesn't fix the problem. It's not the phone that's the problem, it's your obsessive behaviour and that's something that none of us here can fix for you, you're the only person in control of that.

ztoical

cantstoptextinghim wrote: »

Does anyone know if I am able to get meteor to block me from texting his number?

If you've learned his number off what good does blocking his number on your phone do? You've already admited your not able to control yourself when drunk so there's nothing stopping you from using a different phone. You need to seek professional help for your behaviour. Ask your GP for a referal.

Wibbs

cantstoptextinghim wrote: »

Thanks Wibbs for the advice but I disagree with you. I honestly can't *unless* I stop drinking but I'm not going to stop living my life because of him. I never ever text him sober.

If you can't stop an action you claim you don't want to do, then either A) you're lying to yourself and you do, or you've a problem with alcohol and self control. Both would be indicative that you may need external help to fix.

I would say IMHO it's a little from column A and a little from column B. Contrary to what you say or admit to yourself, you still want to be in contact and the drink gives you the after the fact excuse and justification for it. You get some emotional feedback from it. You like it. Not in the sense it gives you pleasure, but you get something from this. An emotional "hit" and you're "addicted" to that hit. When you figure out why, then you'll have your answer.