Can't sleep in Same bed

LegacyUser

I'm a guy, been going out with a girl nearly a year now. It's going great and we're planning to move in together soon.

What worries me is that I'm a really light sleeper. Whenever we sleep in the same bed I wake up about 10 times a night every time she moves in her sleep.

It's fine now, because we don't sleep in the same bed more than 2 or 3 times a week, but I'm dreading spending every night doing it. As it is, if I spend two consecutive nights sleeping in the same bed, I feel noticably tired during the day.

Anyone have any advice, or been in this situation before? We can't exactly sleep in seperate beds.

Novella

Why can't you sleep in separate beds? If sleeping in the same bed causes you to wake up tired etc., what else can you do really? She can't exactly stop moving in her sleep. There is nothing wrong with not sharing the same bed. It's better than feeling tired and irritable.

BabyBirch

I was exactly the same before I moved in with my boyfriend and I was really worried about it too. But within a week I'd gotten used sharing the bed and now I don't wake up or notice him moving at all. Another solution: have two single mattresses on a double bed-base so you won't feel each other moving around in the night.

Miss Fluff

If you buy a really big bed for your new place you won't feel her tossing and turning so much

LegacyUser

I bought a super-king size bed when my BF and I moved in together and we barely notice each other in the bed..it's great! Wouldn't have it any other way or we'd be waking each other up constantly. Make sure to get a really big duvet too though, or you'll be having a tug of war all night!

Squiggler

I have to agree about the big bed, makes all the difference, also, make sure you go for a firm matress, one that won't roll the two of you together in the night. Test them out before you buy!

But, if you think that won't work then by all means discuss with your GF and seehow she would feel about separate beds, or even rooms. Actually, I read an article somewhere last week on the topic, it stated that separate sleeping arrangements can be better for a couple's sex life.

Idbatterim

I have had this problem, you need a superking, a kingsize for 2 people is not big, it it 150cm wide, that is the same as a small single, sleep on that and then tell me that it is adequate width for an adult! Sleep is very important. If y ou are renting, I have found the quality of the beds provided appalling!

lau1247

a good quality matress is what you need..

If you get a really good one, when one roll on one side, it shouldn't affect the other unless really close of course

kylith

Stick it out for a week or so, you'll probably find that you get used to it rather quickly. If it's just not happening after giving it a good try then there's nothing wrong with sleeping seperately.

NothingMan

This is just my experience and maybe your gf will feel differently but when I lived with my ex she was a very light sleeper and always complained that I breathed too loud or moved too much and would constantly complain about being tired.

As some people say the solution was to sleep in separate beds but when she started moving to the spare room during the night I didn't really like it. I didn't want her to be tired but I also felt that as a couple we should be able to share a bed and when she was happier in the spare bed I was a little hurt.

I know that's not her fault but maybe talk about it with your gf before moving in just so you both know how it's going to be and you don't end up having the conversation after a few bad nights sleep when you may be irritable and maybe approach it in the wrong way.

You could invest in a European style double bed. Anyone who has been in Hotels in France or Spain for example will tell you about these.

Essentially they are one frame, like any double bed, but it is made up of 2 matresses with a small filled in gap down the middle of them.

Essentially you can do all the same rolling about on top of each you do in a normal bed but come sleep time you are on two different matresses.

This does not limit all the disturbance of the person on the other matress moving about but it does vastly reduce it.

metrovelvet

I am absolutely convinced the divorce rate would drop if people slept in their own beds and that sleep disturbance/deprivation has a lot to answer for in relationships.

If you cant sleep in the same bed then DONT sleep in the same bed. No law says you have to.

Yeah there is no reason to have to sleep together. There is the bed option I mentioned above. There is also the "Bert and Ernie" option of having 2 beds in the same room.

In our house we actually have our own rooms. Who sleeps with who if at all is entirely fluid and depends solely on who needs a good nights sleep with no disturbances etc etc.

Swampy

Get a good "Pocket Sprung" Mattress. All the springs are individually pocketed,as you could guess!! The result is you can't feel your partners tossing and turning.

Snoopy1

I feel your pain. Im an incredibly light sleeper. It feels like my boyfrind sounds like a train, but in reality he is just breathing, but i hear everything.
When i lived with my ex, i eventually got used to sleeping with him, but if ever i was having a bad night i used to go in the spare room and he never minded.

I now have another boyfriend and can never sleep in the same bed as him. Half the time i end up on the sofa in his place. Doesnt help that im a shift worker and also very stressed at the moment.

We usually start off in the same bed, then i move once he's asleep so i can get to sleep, and he doesnt mind.

I cant understand people that have a problem with sleeping seperatly. You should want your other half to have a decent nights sleep, then they wont be grouchy!!