Dating Sites again

LegacyUser

Hi all, I'm wondering what ye think about this, guy I've been chatting to on a well known dating site. We have been chatting on it on and off for the past 3 months and have got on pretty well for the most part. But I decided a few weeks ago to give him my number so that we could organise a date. Now I have organised a babysitter on a few occasions so that we could meet up but he always has something else on but yet wants us to meet by the end of this week.
His family owns a well known business in a nearby town so I know that there is'nt a Mrs.

Problem is we have been texting a lot to each other, I have not spoken to him, all conversation is through texts & emails, but I'm finding that I am falling hard for him even though I do not know what he looks like and he does not know what I look like! I know that he is falling for me too.

Is the whole thing wierd or am I reading too much into it. What do ye think? All feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

B

Ickle Magoo

I don't know if I'd consider it weird - I'd just bare in mind that it's always much easier to fall for a persona or imagined person than the real thing with all the lumps, bumps, faults and baggage that real people have/come with.

As long as you keep your feet on the ground and are realistic then how much of a crush you get just by chatting doesn't matter, I don't think.

All the best.

Fittle

You're not going to like my response, but here goes.

You have been 'chatting' (a term I hate btw, because you haven't been 'chatting' at all!) for 3 months.

He has your mobile, but has yet to ring you.
You have arranged a babysitter on a 'few' occassions, but he still hasn't met you. How many times is a few?

There doesn't have to be a mrs. Or a partner.

There are thousands of men like him on all the sites. Constantly texting or emailing (I've been there myself, so I know what I'm on about, unfortunately:rolleyes:). They will text you, mail you, msn you. But by jebus, they won't actually RING you!

They are all hiding behind this 'personality' they have created about themselves, most of which is exaggerated or blatant lies. Which is why they will most likely, not meet you in real life.

It's important you realise OP, that this is NOT reflection on you!!!!!
This is purely down to him.

Move on.

There are genuine men on dating sites I might add...he's just not one of them and is one of the more typical types..
So either move on and find someone online who will actually meet you in real life, or forget online and get out there and meet real people!

I tried it for about a year, and it completely and utterly wrecked my head - what a waste of a year of my life texting or emailing people when I could actually have been LIVING!! I did meet a few guys online, some of whom were quite nice. But the majority were similar to your guy OP.

And a year on, and I only recently got an update thing from the website and logged on again - and lo and behold, those same men are STILL there!

nimrodsson

You're not actually falling for him. You have fallen for the guy you think he is... you have subconscously filled in all the gaps with what you want him to be / how you would like him to be. It's actually that simple. You see all the good points, none of the bad, and as you know; even people you like in real life, you know there bad points too. With him you don't. Hence, its not really real. When you meet him, he won't be at all like you imagined - but you might well still like him. So don't be worried about being weird thinking you have fallen for - its only natural you have fallen for a person that you've essentially created... and once you've met him you'll be out of that zone and won't even think about it tht way again.

Overheal

I find it highly suspect that you're arranging to meet with the guy and you haven't even spoken to eachother on the phone. He's hiding something.

LighterGuy

I'm sorry to be harsh but you havent talked to him on the phone or even seen what he looks like. Op, thats a recipe for diaster.

kjl

Look, he may be shy and finds it easier to speak to people via text. Fair enough, but you really need to slow down yourself. You have never met the guy, you have never spoken to the guy. You are not falling for him, but rather the idea of having someone in your life.

Meet up, go on a date and take if from there, but don't fool yourself into thinking this is more than just 2 people talking on the internet.

LegacyUser

Hi, thanks a lot for your replies.

He did want to ring me one night last week but he was out drinking & I did'nt want to because of that.

I know that I have never seen a photo of him but he has never seen a photo of me either, so it works both ways.

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt because I do think that he is shy but I also think that there could be trust issues there.

Ye have all confirmed what I have been thinking but I think that I will give him until next weekend & if we don't meet up by then, then I'm going to call it quits.

Again thanks a million for your feedback.

B

Fittle

Me again - sorry OP, but had I realised you hadn't even seen his photo yet, I would have been even more blunt:eek:

Seriously, whoever said he might be 'shy', with respect, obviously hasn't used a dating site! 3 months, no photo and no phone call, with an attempt to ring you when he's drunk

OP, re-read what you've just written and you'll realise you have just wasted 3 months waiting around for a person you have created yourself....sorry. I will add that it is easy enough to get caught up waiting for texts, and that there are many many women, who get conned into this (supposed) 'attention' from someone they have never met, or even seen in real life....but you need to get offline and go out to your local and meet someone in real life.
And if you decide to stay online as a way of meeting people, learn from this experience - if you haven't seen a photo after 1/2 days, or met him after 1/2 weeks, delete, delete delete!
Best of luck OP.

andreac

How can you fall for someone that you have never even seen what they look like??

Ive done the online dating and i insist that the person contacting me has a picture from the word go, on their profile, and not send it on by email/text etc.
If they dont have a pic up it def rings alarm bells.

How can you be in contact with someone when you dont know what they look like? You dont meet someone out in a pub or where ever with your eyes closed, so why would anyone expect to contact you online with no pic??

He is wasting your time, so i would cut contact and move on.

Little Miss Lady

scarymoon1 wrote: »

I dont mean to piggyback in this thread but i cant post a new thread for some reason. I went on an internet date months ago and i kept in contact with the guy i met - anyways its kind of getting more serious recently - and well the fact we met on the net freaks me out a bit - and i would never tell anyone that we met on the net. So im in a bit of a pickle - should i just end it with him as i dont want to tell people we met on the net. At the time i was fed up and gave the internet dating thing a go for a laugh - i didnt tell my friends about it as i didnt expect much from it. What do i do?

I don't get this taboo with meeting people on the net. If you like him and he likes you and you've physically met then I really don't see the problem..
You are just going to throw away a decent guy for the sake of a few people finding out you met on the net.. Be upfront, honest, who cares..


As for the OP, that guy is stringing you along, you're 'chatting' for three months and not once has he made the effort to meet up.
Cut your losses, delete his number and move onto someone who deserves your time and effort.. In future I would suggest swapping pictures as someone could say they're such a body but how do you actually know for certain through a mobile number that can easily be changed..
Take care..

Dinge

Cut your losses and move on. Some people will happily email/text til the cows come home because it's easier for them then to talk to you on the phone or meet up in person. You're falling for the person you want them to be, not the real one.