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Always Mess it Up.

  • 14-11-2010 5:39pm
    #1
    brighteyed84
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11 ✭


    Im new to this site so pleez go easy on me!!

    Im in mid 20's but always seem to mess things up when it comes to men.

    I either go in to fast, thinking their on the same page as me and it goes well for a few weeks and then, bam! End up messing it up and feeling crap all over again.

    Or the other way I go is...Im a coldfish, and none of the guys I date during this know what way to approach me. Der is no inbetween and Im not sure how to change a habit of a lifetime.

    Up until recently, I have picked myself up and dusted myself off and got back in the saddle again so to speak. Until I fell for a guy that I cant seem to get over. We had a thing about ten months ago and we work together, not closely but we do see each other every day. We are friends I suppose but I feel there is more there. Im not really explaining this properly and to that I apologise, but my self esteem is so low that even though I have no prob in getting asked out and have no problem picking men up, when it comes to this man I just cant say anything terrified of bein rejected....AGAIN!

    Its been ten months....if he had any interest he would have said something right?...or should I go up and just say it and ruin the friendship we have now?! Or if neither of the above, how do I get over someone and start taking an interest again "IN GETTING BACK OUT THERE".

    Very fed up and confused so go easy on ur replies to me pleez! :(


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    If the guy has not made a move after 10months then you can be almost 100% sure he is not THAT into you...

    Just a bit of general advise.... people can smell desparation a mile away.. and clingyness is a Real turn off.. just keep that in mind..


  • #3
    brighteyed84
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11 ✭brighteyed84


    Thanks for that maclovin, all advice welcome.

    But Im sure ur right...after 10 months he woulda done something...or we are being as stupid as each other?? As for being desperate, dats the thing Im not and Im never clingy...if anything, its me who hates bein crowded when Im with someone.

    Any advice on where Im going wrong is very welcome!! :)


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    once in the "friend zone" its nigh on impossible to get out of... So the best you can do is move on, dont limit you attentions to one guy.. Ya seem like a nice gal, so just do what your doing, always trust chemistry and your feelings and at least you can say you gave it a good effort... this mite sound cliched but the right guy will come along, just have patience and make sure you make time for friends and other interests in your life...


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey there OP,

    Perhaps its not that your messing anything up but that you just havn't met a guy whos right for you yet. Try not to worry too much about coming on too strong or being too cold. I know it can sometimes be hard to know how to act in the early days of a relationship but just try to relax and whatever feels natural will be the right way.

    When you meet a guy who's right for you you shouldn't have that problem as you will both be hopefully on the same page.

    But you seem to have had a string of crappy relationships in the last while though, how would you feel about just taking a break from the dating scene/men and taking some time for yourself for a while? Focus on your own life/things you want to do and go back to dating only when you feel ready.


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