I feel really stupid asking this

LegacyUser

but how do you know if you have an eating disorder?

I lost my appetitie a while ago, and lost a bit of weight. I started smoking more and drinking a lot more tea & coffee to fill me up. Now I like not eating, or eating as little as possible because it makes me feel like I'm in control. I have lost a good bit of weight in a short space of time. I didn't think there was anything wrong with what I was doing.

I don't think I have an ED, because I'm not skinny and I don't excercise obsessively, and up until about a week ago I wasn't particularly secretive about what I was doing to my friends.

I don't really want to say it to anyone in my family, because I don't want them to think I am over reacting or looking for attention and there is a lot going on at the moment.

But the other day I got a shock, because I was disgusted with myself for eating a takeaway....and then I realised it was the only thing I had eaten all day. I know that's not good.

Am I being stupid and over reacting?

I am a friend

You are under reacting and running headlong into a serious eating disorder. Its bad enough that you are smoking more to stop yourself eating but you are also, to be honest, in SERIOUS denial.

Whats going to happen is that your metabolism will slow down as your body will think its being starved so you will not continue to lose weight. You honestly need to talk to someone about this. You do have an eating disorder.

liah

Ask any person with an ED why they stopped eating-- nine times out of ten, the answer will be something along the lines of "it was something I could control."

You need to talk to someone, because the fact that you put it up to control for the reason is a big, big warning sign. This is your health at risk here, take no chances.

It will only escalate if you don't do something about it now.

Nevyn

There are many people who do not look over weight or under weight who have a skewed relationship with food, which is what manifests as an eating disorder. It is possible to do damange to your body and be unwell despite not looking under weight or over weight.
I would suggest getting help before it gets more serious.

Talk to your dr or talk to someone who can help
www.bodywise.ie

LegacyUser

Thanks for the relpies.

Even after seeing that I might have a problem written down, I still don't really believe it. Does that make sense?

I just think I would feel like I am being stupid/wasting their time if I went to talk to someone about it.

But at the same time I know that this isn't good, but I keep telling myself to be quiet that it's nothing.

neuro-praxis

It is common to ALL people with eating disorders that they think it's just a little problem and they aren't sick enough to warrant treatment.

If you are in the Dublin area give these guys a call: http://marinotherapycentre.com/. Even if you don't live in Dublin, they can advise you where to get help.

Princess Peach

The way my eating disorder started was that I was travelling and lost a lot of weight, doing much more and eating less. I came home and never received so many compliments, even now I don't think I can realise how much weight I lost because its hard to see it on myself. Then I started on a new medication which made me sick and I lost my appetite and lost more weight. After I got my appetite back I was so afraid of gaining back all the weight I had lost, and I developed bulimia.

I'm not a medical expert but this could very easily get worse for you. I didn't realise how bad I had gotten until months down the line, thinking I didn't have an eating disorder, I was fully in control of what I was doing. But when I spoke to someone about it, it was clear I had syptoms for long before I thought I had, if that makes sense.

Talk to your doctor, who can refer you to a counselor. You are right to think that what you are doing isn't healthy right now, and it could very easily get worse. You need to find a healthy routine before your mind starts tricking you into thinking you're fine.

LegacyUser

I just talked to my mam, and she laughed at me.

So now I feel like I am a fool.

LegacyUser

lbh wrote: »

I just talked to my mam, and she laughed at me.

So now I feel like I am a fool.

Hi OP, I am a recover eating disorder sufferer and from what i have read you do certainly seem to have an ED. I was in hospital for 6 months and all in all I think I lost about 4 years due to an ED. Also you reminded me of how mine started. I have lost some weight due to stress. There were things going on in my life that I was not happy with. I went on a holiday and lost loads of weight due to the heat and general running around. I lost more weight and got a rush from it. I thought that this was one thing i could control - my eating. But I was in the grips of an ED but did not realise untill it was well underway. Hence I spent 4 years battling it. This is where you can stop the roller coaster you seem to be on at the mo.

You seem to be in denial which is a symptom of an ED. When the mind if starved the ED becomes so strong. You probably have a distorted mental image too? But as someone else said, you do not have to be underwt to have an ED. The physical state is only a symptom is the disease - the real symptoms are guilt and the feeling of control - which you have. But the ED is what really is in control. And the consequences can be fatal - as I know only to well unfortunately. I lost someone so close to me due to an ED. The other thing about an ED is that is robs you of your self esteem. Not only do you feel bad for eating, but for everything. EDs can ruin your personality as well as your mood. This is turn can ruin your relationships etc.

With regards to what your mum said, she probably thinks, like a lot of other people, that you have to be underwt to have an ED. This is wrong as already said. You need to see a GP and do call bodywhys and also I recommend this website

http://www.eatingdisorders.ie/

The effects of starvation on the body are so so bad - you do not wanna go there.

I cannot say enough bad things about ED.

Do you think it is normal to not eat? Does a car run without fuel?

Please seek the appropriate help - and you are best talking to those who are in the know. So meet your GP and call bodywhys. Go from there. xx S

Littleblondehen

Hi all, I'm the OP.

Since I've posted this a few things have happened, first my mam apologised as she had a shock when I told her I think I have a problem and has been very supportive. So I went to the doctor, but she didn't seem to take me seriously and either did the couple of friends I confided in, it was basically "Sure you look great".

So I was bit like f*ck it I don't have a problem and have been continuing on the way I have been going. I haven't lost a great deal more weight, but I'm so confused, one minute I think what i am doing is wrong, the next I''m thinking I am over reacting. My moods have become foul, some days I just can't be bothered.
It feels like I have to keep smiling because people get uncomfortable if I am not all singing and dancing.

Over the weekend I got so fed up, I just didn't have it in me to get up and face the world so I stayed in bed. I feel a better this week, but I know this isn't healthy.

At the same time I don't want to get help, because I know they are going to make me stop this and I'll put weight on, and I am terrified of that. It's like this is keeping me going.

How stupid and selfish does that sound?

I don't know what I want or what to do.

neuro-praxis

neuro-praxis wrote: »

It is common to ALL people with eating disorders that they think it's just a little problem and they aren't sick enough to warrant treatment.

If you are in the Dublin area give these guys a call: http://marinotherapycentre.com/. Even if you don't live in Dublin, they can advise you where to get help.

I am quoting myself because you will not regret it if you call these people. They will not make you gain weight. They will help you discover freedom.

Taltos

OP - please use the support suggested above.

a few things though.
1. Your mum's response - criminal but typical of our parents.
2. Your doctors response - maybe I am being extreme - but that smacks of medical negligence (getting easily annoyed/angry at the mo - different thread there). However - go get a 2nd or 3rd or 4th opinion until someone sits up and listens to you and delivers the help you need.
3. Your friends - maybe they just cannot cope with it, they may not be emotionally mature to be able to deal with this type of thing.

Use the links above or DEMAND help from another doctor.

You only have the one life and you are damaging your future right now.
Drinking / smokes / starvation all have serious consequences - many are obvious - eg cancer, etc - but others are not - fertility issues...

You have taken some great steps here. Unfortunately you have not received the support you deserved - so go get it now. Act on your instincts - you know what you are doing is wrong (at least at some level). Seek the help and move your life forwards again.

poppy81

Hi OP
Something similar happened me a couple of years ago.
i had no appetite but was suffering from mild stomach cramps sporadically so didnt really think much of them.
i lost over a stone and a half without trying and it wasnt until friends and family commented on my weight loss how did i do it etc,.. that i realised i should go to my GP.
losing weight without trying can be a symptom of a serious underlying medical condition. i was diagnosed with a stomach ulcer! im on medication now dont ignore this OP because it could be serious.

Zen65

lbh wrote: »

I started smoking more and drinking a lot more tea & coffee to fill me up. Now I like not eating, or eating as little as possible because it makes me feel like I'm in control. I have lost a good bit of weight in a short space of time. I didn't think there was anything wrong with what I was doing.

Parable: Two guys jump out of a tall building. As they pass the 13th floor on the way down one says to the other: "so far, so good"!

The point is this - just because you have not yet become skinny does not mean that what you are doing is OK. Cutting out food to "feel like I'm in control" is abnormal behaviour, and it almost always leads to excessive weight loss. The path is determined by the initial action. If you lose too much weight it can be hard to regain it (in a healthy way).

I strongly advise you seek help. Try to understand what it is that motivates you to seek this control. The actions you are taking (increased smoking, increased coffee) are fundamentally unhealthy actions and will lead to health problems in their own right.

Being in control of yourself is good, but abusing your body to gain that control is not good.

Be at peace,

Z

Bottle_of_Smoke

I'd call that Marino therapy place, heard nothing but good things about them.

And don't confide in friends. Joe and Josephine Public have a very very very poor understanding of eating disorders. People talk about sufferers with contempt as if they're idiots who simply won't eat. And I've even heard some girls talk about them with a hint of jealousy.

You're posting here, you know this is a problem and it won't be going away. If you don't do something soon you're heading down a path of misery. My friend just got out of a 5 month stay at an institution for anorexia nervosa. It is not a nice existance.

Call that Marino place. Talk to them and see what they're about.

LegacyUser

OP,

I spoke to the Marino Therapy Centre looking for advice and they are lovely, really helpful and supportive.