Self Knowledge/pre-therapy

Cróga

Hey guys,

I love psychology and im planning on going into therapy when the funds allow but for now what would you recommend to do until then? I've already started journaling, read Alice Miller, listened to philosopher Stefan Molyneux's podcasts and audiobooks about childhood, parents and relationships. What else?

If it helps i can name a few things that im looking to improve, social anxiety (although this isnt as bad since i cut out toxic relationships), stuttering (thinking too fast for my words), dissociation in conversations with others, anger/anxiety (they seem to be complementing each other), and there's other things i cant think of right now.

What books/links/articles/things to do/etc would you recommend to a potential client to help them have a better experience for when they enter therapy? What im also looking for is how would i train myself to think like a therapist as in slow down my thoughts and feelings to experience them fully to learn why and what they have to teach? Thanks in advance.

Torakx

I can only relate to myself when replying.
I found in my case the social phobias and social anxiety were mostly to do with self esteem and my emotional perceptions of the world around me.
I also had a bad diet of too much carbs and sugar combined with anti biotics when in hospital lead to candida and lots of anxiety,confusion with some anger too.
I would guess trying to learn how the therapist is going to approach you is a sign of anxiety.
Anyway i havent been to therapy so have no relevant info there.
All i can say for sure is that when i became extremely self aware of nearly all my "flaws" i was able to forgive those things and turn them into positives.
So i would always say to people that learning about ourselves is most important.Becoming self aware on as many levels as possible helped me alot to change habits and ways of thinking.I do think the longer we use a line of thinking the longer it will take to change that habit.
I would notice i had an issue with some topic like depression for example and would google all i could for months(even years of on and off research) until i had covered everything i could and then applied all i read to myself to gain a new view.
Then id move on to anxiety and shyness and why they happen, trying to find all root causes.
Then motivation was my final one that clicked it all together.
Lastly i strongly believe having a proper healthy diet and a very good understanding of how food effects the body and mind will really really aid people to instigate changes in their lives.A healthy body is ussually a healthy mind or lead to it in my case!
Have fun with the therapy, i dont ever regret doing something that helps me discover more of myself Even if that thing seems bad at first.The bads in my past help me cope with the less bad i have to walk into these days and life suddenly becomes much easier.

JuliusCaesar

We do not give advice on this forum - we discuss psychology.

If you want help, go to Personal Issues.

If you want a counsellor, go to the sticky above in this forum.





Please read the Charter before posting - Torakx you too.

Now please stick to the OPs question in any responses.

My own response would be that I like people to read up on CBT.

Odysseus

Cróga wrote: »

Hey guys,

I love psychology and im planning on going into therapy when the funds allow but for now what would you recommend to do until then? I've already started journaling, read Alice Miller, listened to philosopher Stefan Molyneux's podcasts and audiobooks about childhood, parents and relationships. What else?

If it helps i can name a few things that im looking to improve, social anxiety (although this isnt as bad since i cut out toxic relationships), stuttering (thinking too fast for my words), dissociation in conversations with others, anger/anxiety (they seem to be complementing each other), and there's other things i cant think of right now.

What books/links/articles/things to do/etc would you recommend to a
potential client to help them have a better experience for when they enter therapy? What im also looking for is how would i train myself to think like a therapist as in slow down my thoughts and feelings to experience them fully to learn why and what they have to teach? Thanks in advance.

If a client asked me that on the phone say before making an appointment, I would advise against it, but that is the way I work as someone who trained in psychoanalysis, as JC a CBT therapist stated a CBT therapist would recommend on reading up on CBT.

I advise against it because of issues such as self-diagnosis, in my experience self-help books cause more problems than they help with; though a good therapist will be more than able to deal with this. An example being people identify with they symptoms they read about, this would be one reason why Freud felt those in analysis shouldn't read about psychoanalysis; I would have experienced some of this myself during my own training analysis. It is one of the difficulties in training to be an analyst, as you have an insight into the various interventions and can end up intellectualising your analysis as part of your resistance. Even a psychoanalyst may not want to know “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” about their unconscious desires.

However, the biggest issue for me would be that people can be tempted to bring a script of what they think they need to speak about during a session. With analysis we work through the process of free association, which basically means speaking what comes to mind as it comes to mind using the same words, not censoring the thoughts in anyway.

It sounds simple but its not, think of it as reporting every thought that comes into consciousness, even if it's something like you think the analyst looks ugly; though this is rare in psychoanalysis as we are all good looking;)

For this reason I would not encourage people to write down things they wish to speak about during their session, if it is significant it will come to mind during the session, or expose your resistance by "forgetting" about it during the session. If that happened you would of course bring this to the next session, but only as a starting point.

This would be in total contrast to CBT where the therapist may give you written work or suggested reading between sessions. The most important thing is you start speaking to a profession; rather than what you think you may need to speak about with your therapist.

I hope that makes a bit of sense and answers your question to a certain extent.

Sardonicat

Odysseus wrote: »

If a client asked me that on the phone say before making an appointment, I would advise against it, but that is the way I work as someone who trained in psychoanalysis, as JC a CBT therapist stated a CBT therapist would recommend on reading up on CBT.

I advise against it because of issues such as self-diagnosis, in my experience self-help books cause more problems than they help with; though a good therapist will be more than able to deal with this. An example being people identify with they symptoms they read about, this would be one reason why Freud felt those in analysis shouldn't read about psychoanalysis; I would have experienced some of this myself during my own training analysis. It is one of the difficulties in training to be an analyst, as you have an insight into the various interventions and can end up intellectualising your analysis as part of your resistance. Even a psychoanalyst may not want to know “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth” about their unconscious desires.

However, the biggest issue for me would be that people can be tempted to bring a script of what they think they need to speak about during a session. With analysis we work through the process of free association, which basically means speaking what comes to mind as it comes to mind using the same words, not censoring the thoughts in anyway.

It sounds simple but its not, think of it as reporting every thought that comes into consciousness, even if it's something like you think the analyst looks ugly; though this is rare in psychoanalysis as we are all good looking;)

For this reason I would not encourage people to write down things they wish to speak about during their session, if it is significant it will come to mind during the session, or expose your resistance by "forgetting" about it during the session. If that happened you would of course bring this to the next session, but only as a starting point.

This would be in total contrast to CBT where the therapist may give you written work or suggested reading between sessions. The most important thing is you start speaking to a profession; rather than what you think you may need to speak about with your therapist.

I hope that makes a bit of sense and answers your question to a certain extent.

Wow, I honestly believed that psychoanalysis was a thing of the past!

Odysseus

Sardonicat wrote: »

Wow, I honestly believed that psychoanalysis was a thing of the past!

Not at all, apart from private stuff there are a lot of us in the HSE too.

hadas

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

We do not give advice on this forum - we discuss psychology.

If you want help, go to Personal Issues.

If you want a counsellor, go to the sticky above in this forum.





Please read the Charter before posting - Torakx you too.

Now please stick to the OPs question in any responses.

My own response would be that I like people to read up on CBT.

God! That sounds harsh. Some wonderful stuff can come up through people's replies and advice and it does discuss personal psychology. What is the problem with giving advice when it is asked for?

hadas

I am uncomfortable when people mix their "love of psychology" with counselling. Psychology is a body of science that relates to different aspects of the human experience. Counselling is something that you do to (amongst other things) feel better, increase your coping skills, receive support and much more. There is also another aspect that research have found to be the most important aspect of counselling - namely - the relationship between the therapist and the client. You won't get that experience in any of the books you read. It is just something that you will have to go through when you have the time and resources and readiness to do so. I believe that you can start to understand yourself to some degree using books, but the work is in the talking and expressing emotions more so than in the cognition which would happen when you read books.

Odysseus

hadas wrote: »

I am uncomfortable when people mix their "love of psychology" with counselling. Psychology is a body of science that relates to different aspects of the human experience. Counselling is something that you do to (amongst other things) feel better, increase your coping skills, receive support and much more. There is also another aspect that research have found to be the most important aspect of counselling - namely - the relationship between the therapist and the client. You won't get that experience in any of the books you read. It is just something that you will have to go through when you have the time and resources and readiness to do so. I believe that you can start to understand yourself to some degree using books, but the work is in the talking and expressing emotions more so than in the cognition which would happen when you read books.

A very interesting point, and I have a few thoughts on the matter myself, but I have to run and get some lecture notes sorted for students tonight, so I'll get back to you soon, Hadas

Odysseus

hadas wrote: »

God! That sounds harsh. Some wonderful stuff can come up through people's replies and advice and it does discuss personal psychology. What is the problem with giving advice when it is asked for?

Hadas, sorry I only seen this post now, and whilst I don't want to speak for JC, she has limited time available here. Firstly have a look at the forum chater, it is there for a reason, some of us know each other here and know they are who and what they claim to be, but that does not got for every poster.

We may discuss psych/counselling/psychotherapy issues but in general not specifics, i.e. individual issues. There is no room for movement here on this. We do not want people being damaged by someone who thinks he is Freud or whoever you want to name.

Another point is if you are going to have a strong difference in viewpoint about a Mods decision you do it by PM, not in the open. I know you are new here so you more than likely didn't know that.

I hope I'm not coming across harsh, but the are reasons for the point JC made and her decision. Finally we are not really that harsh here, I say that as a Mod in the job about a week. I have been a poster for years.

So please keep coming here, and if you wish to discuss the above with me PM and I will do my best to answer any question.

Velvety

So begins Odysseus' reign of terror.

hadas

Now I don't know if I should follow this with a reply or a PM or just shut my gob altogether. I am sorry - but I would be the last person to read the instructions of a piece of equipment - let alone the instruction on how to post on boards.ie!!!! I now potentially feel the same as the person who asked about counselling in the first place! Intimidated!

hadas

Velvety - you made me smile! Thank you.

Torakx

Hehe that is why i state i can only relate to myself.I can understand the reasons i was warned though and tend to agree with the reasoning.
Any information could be construed as advice, even if its not ment to be.
I tend to share my experiences more often than not and its easy to see how i might be skirting that fine line.
Just sometimes hard not to post for the dicussion or to learn more of myself lol

Odysseus

hadas wrote: »

Now I don't know if I should follow this with a reply or a PM or just shut my gob altogether. I am sorry - but I would be the last person to read the instructions of a piece of equipment - let alone the instruction on how to post on boards.ie!!!! I now potentially feel the same as the person who asked about counselling in the first place! Intimidated!

Firstly Hadas, the last thing I wanted is you feeling intimated, but the charter is there for a reason I also have to abide by it. Look I'm only a Mod here a week so I'm been very soft here, well imo. The rule is you do not question a Mods decision openly, you do it PM, and it can go alot further if you are still unhappy. A Mods decision can be over-ruled if it is incorrect.


Please have a look at the chater, and PM with any issues you may have, I will answer them the best I can. How is that?

Odysseus

Right I have asked people to contact me, I have had no contact. I would like to see anybody with an interest in psychological issues/concepts post here. However, this is the deal with personal issues/advice:

Unfortunately we can't give advice - much as we'd like to as individuals - because of the danger of doing harm. There's a danger that the wrong advice may be given because all the facts are not known, and there's a danger that someone who needs one-to-one personal advice may use boards as an excuse not to get it. We totally understand that people will use this resource to look for that type of help, but hope you understand why we just can't give it.
Also, questions about moderation aren't allowed on thread, because then the thread becomes a discussion on moderation rather than the original subject. If you've any questions, feel free to drop a PM to any of the mods or cmods. Mods can tell the difference (usually!) between someone who's deliberately out to cause trouble, and someone who's making a genuine mistake, and will act accordingly, so don't worry.

This is not just my position it is Boards.ie position, so there is no movement on it. Personal issues belong in PI or maybe LTI.


Edit: I'm adding this as an after thought, but in my clinical experience I have encountered people who where given advice, by people who believed they where really helping, but they caused more damage. I'm sure all the clinicians here have encountered this. I would hate to see that happen here.