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Is my ex back for mind games?

  • 13-11-2010 6:10pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Basically i went through a breakup during the summer, was doing well trying not to think of him. Anyway he added me on facebook again and he started telling me he was sorry and i should have treated u better. then he said we shud do sumting soon, i said yeah ok. then he told me hed text me the next day but never got a text. I dont know why he was being so nice to me. He was really flirty aswell and kept leavng me x's. Now its stuck on my mind. I'm also alone in the house this weekend and sick so its driving me insane :(


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    He is being a bollocks and using you as an ego boost - finding out if he still could have you if he wanted to.

    Life's too short to entertain twats like that who are only interested in mind games and hurting you. Remove this bloke from your life altogether and decide to move on.


  • #3
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    Well... there's two sides, one could be he sees he did in fact not treat you well & is trying to make up for it / realises what he's lost etc.
    Or.... he's hoping for some casual fun to be gained from seeming to be nice to you again.

    First thing you need to do is think whether or not you'd want him back in your life. Don't think about the 'oh I miss him so much' bit. But think about the relationship overall, how he treated you, how ye got on with it. And would you want that again. IF you do, then you can try talking to him again, I wouldn't suggest meeting up too soon because it could be very easy for something to happen.

    Tbh he could have been testing the waters, seeing if you're still into him, could be an ego boost, could be a case of seeing if he can gain anything fun from it. Or small chance could be he's changed his mind. But tbh if he really had changed his mind he would have tried to explain that to you, via phone, not contacting you through facebook. And if he'd said he'd text/call, then he really would have if he was interested in that way. (granted there could be an excuse as to why he couldn't contact you but somewhat doubtful).

    I'd ask him out straight what's he looking for, say 'are you looking for us to be friends?' (because only he knows the answer) and you need to decide if you're ready for that yet. If you're not, then say so.


  • #4
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Ego boost. 100%.

    People do it all the time. Biggest way to spot it is when a bit of time has past. Then they are back sniffing around. usually happens where the single life was not great for them during that bit of time. So call up the ex again.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship/break-up but from my point of view i recently contacted my ex.... she broke up with me in march for various reasons (mostly my fault). The reason i contacted her was not for 'an ego boost' or any such thing but because i genuinely love her and want to see if i can maybe make up for the mistakes i made....

    your situation might be completely different (you don't give a lot of info) but sometimes people can change but unfortunately the only way most people learn and grow is by making mistakes and even more unfortunately its usually the train-wreck mistakes they can't come back from that makes them change.... usually too late then....

    my advice (for what it's worth) would be to take it really easy and don't force anything... take every conversation as it comes and if you meet try to be reserved, DON'T (REALLY) DON'T jump back into anything, if he really wants to make amends then it won't matter how long it takes him, but you'll have to judge that for yourself, you know him better than us!

    Best of luck


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