This is a little weird, I've no idea what to think

LegacyUser

First off, I'll explain how I've seen this. I'm a regular boards user and on a thread I saw a post by someone I recognised the user name as one a friend always uses. I looked into it and it wasn't her but I realised she always misspells it so I decided to do a search for the misspelt name and she had been posting, she gave a link to another forum and boredom, curiosity and that I haven't really seen or heard from her in months got me wondering what's going on in her life.

I still wasn't 100% that it was her but same job, around the right area and a few other things but there was also some things putting me off as well. I was reading through some posts and it was for the most part fairly positive stuff.

Now I'm going to have to mention some things about me. For the past few years I have been depressed and shutting myself off from people and find it really difficult to approach people, probably the main reason why I haven't seen her much in the last while. I have been seeing someone over this but I'm on a medical card in the country so it's not much and I don't think it really suits me but it seems it's all there is.

This is the bit confusing the hell out of me. I saw on one of her posts that a friend of hers killed herself, my first thought was crap I had no idea this happened. I read further and thought that I didn't realise that she had another friend that had a certain hobby, something I used to do before I got depressed. People were replying the normal thing you would expect them to, I looked further for two main reasons, to see what friend it was and to see what happened with her during this time. At this point I was feeling like a sh*t friend for having no idea. In further posts she talked about visiting the family, giving a statement to a bangarda(she was the last person to see them), she went home to her parents, seeing a counselor before the funeral and thanking everyone for there words of support.

Now, the bit that is really confusing and worrying is that in the last post she mentioned my name as the person that died, and reading back over her posts, it is me she is talking about. In the same post it was also conformed that it was my friend and not someone else.

I don't know what to think about this, she is on a website that I think she go's to meet ups in and she has told them that I've killed myself.

Oryx

Youre making a hell of a lot of assumptions here. You could very well be wrong. Other than that, I dont think anyone here can help you in explaining your friends mindset if it is her. You havent seen her in years, why is it preoccupying you that she is saying this anyway? And I qualify that again by saying youre assuming she is, and you may well be completely wrong.

I had a friend who over the years told me Will Smith, Brad Pitt and a half a dozen other well known celebs had been killed. I have no idea why she did it, and I learned to dismiss the 'honest to god' claims.

MitchKoobski

That's pretty messed up....

If you want to be sure if it's the same person, and be sure she's defnitely talking about you, I'd make an effort to contact her.

weiland79

I'm not sure this will be of any help but, I went to my school reunion 2 years ago and my class mates all had heard that i had died and were more than a little shocked to see me.
I suppose the reason being that i had moved out of the country for ten years and no one had seen me.

The point is i suppose, is that it happens.

LegacyUser

Oryx, I am fully sure it is her, there isn't a doubt in my mind.

I have seen her but in very small amounts which have been getting smaller. I think because of the depression I've been fairly negitive about thing, I try to be positive when I talking to people but alot of the time my mouth says things before I think about them and I can understand why people wouldn't want to spend too much time with me that coupled with the whole depressed hiding means I'm not even sure if I can call some people friends anymore.
Seeing this was just a shock to me. Me being even more stupid had noticed how she had gone online(after I posted here) and her latest post was about dumping a 'friend' in the post she had mentioned a few things that I had said to her one day when I was feeling really low and couldn't stop being negitive.

What I might do is ring a different friend talk to them about it but not mention who it is because they're friends too.

Nevyn

Go and talk to her in person and your other friends and aquantinces, sort this out in the real world and not online. Some people love online drama or indeed drama in general and when their if is not going they way they want they will create it. You have to look after yourself and get yourself well and if someone is as twisted as that it does come out in the end.

hullaballoo

One thing to bear in mind is that people who are trying to fit into a community (online or offline) will say things that aren't completely true in order to fit in, to have a sense of belonging or to familiarise themselves to the other people in that community.

It could be that she was trying to associate with people who had been close to a suicide and decided that the closest thing she had was a friend who had contemplated suicide (i.e. you). It's not a particularly noble thing to do, but people generally are not as noble as we give them credit for.

From your point of view, there is a twisted logic to this being good news for your friendship with her. She's obviously been thinking about you. I'd try and make contact with her without alluding to the postings you have seen on the other website. She would probably be delighted to hear from you. If you're out of your depression, she will be happy to hear that. Maybe, in time, you can address the postings you have seen, but from a more detached point of view, if that makes sense.

Anyway, I hope you are doing well now. Depression is a horrible experience and you should try and get someone who suits you. I have mentioned before, and will mention again that I am free to speak to anyone who is depressed and needs help. <snip>