Don't know where my life is going

LegacyUser

Hope this is the right forum.
Need to ask for a few opinions on what i should do.
I am currently living at home. I'm nearing 30, & a teacher.
Basically, i was going out with a guy for 6 years, last year he broke up with me. Big shock. Have gotten over him some bit, but still hurts.

I feel like my life has reached a dead end and i don't really know what i could do to improve things. Firstly, i have a large group of friends, but they are all either married or in long term relationships. I am the only single one, so when i come up with the idea of going out and socialising, they aren't really ever that interested, which i can't really blame them for, as i can imagine after a week working they would like to spend their time with their partners. I just feel like i never meet new people and when i do go for drinks with them we always end up staying in the local with their OH's.

Secondly, i would love to travel the world, especially seeing as i have long summer holidays. However, a few years ago these friends did that for a year, i couldn't as i was trying to find teaching work. I feel like i have missed out on a great opportunity and really feel like i could never do it alone. I don't have the finances or the guts to do it this year, but maybe in time i will.

I am just scared that i will reach 30 and feel like i have wasted my 20's. Each day just seems to roll into the next and when i do have free time, I seem to find myself becoming increasingly anxious about my future.

Does anyone have any ideas of what i should do?
Have any ladies felt like this at some point?
Thanks

rainbow kirby

Moved from tLL to PI.

deadpoet

I'm quite likely to be about as far away from a lady as you can get, but I have definitely felt like this in the past and once again I presently do.

Like you, I'd love to travel the world too and I'm putting serious consideration into it, because I doubt either of us are going to find our 'calling' as it were over here in Ireland with the absolute state of the place in every imaginable regard. Obviously I'm going to tell you to go for it.

I picked up a a book callled '1000 Places to See Before You Die' about three years ago (20 at the time) and I've been ticking off places ever since, wondering should I or shouldnt I. If I had made the decision to go ahead with it I would have had enough money saved at this point.

Why do you feel you dont have the guts though? Some would say, myself included, that your own company is the best company if you're going to travel the world for 1/2 years as if you fell out with your travel partner while your 10's of 1000's of miles away from home it'd be a total nightmare.

It would be the ultimate adventure though, I think...and you're still very young. I say go for it - if I had the money right now I'd head of asap, but instead I'm going to start saving as from my next pay check.

Apologies if this didnt help much, I just noticed your post and can so very much relate. Best of luck in your decision anyway miss.

LegacyUser

hiya,

You are in a good position with a job that offers you good summer holidays at the moment, so imo, you should start taking advantage of it. Would you consider travelling somewhere on your own? I found travelling on my own, good for the head. It gave me time to think think think, while taking in different places at the same time.
If you can't get anyone to go, do you know people abroad. Say for example, if you know someone in New York, you could go, use it as a base, meet up with them, and do some travelling on your own....

For people who work regular jobs, the hardest part about considering travelling is getting the time off to do it. You are in a good position to be able to do it. Go for it...

strobe

Lost girl wrote: »

Hope this is the right forum.
Need to ask for a few opinions on what i should do.
I am currently living at home. I'm nearing 30, & a teacher.
Basically, i was going out with a guy for 6 years, last year he broke up with me. Big shock. Have gotten over him some bit, but still hurts.

I feel like my life has reached a dead end and i don't really know what i could do to improve things. Firstly, i have a large group of friends, but they are all either married or in long term relationships. I am the only single one, so when i come up with the idea of going out and socialising, they aren't really ever that interested, which i can't really blame them for, as i can imagine after a week working they would like to spend their time with their partners. I just feel like i never meet new people and when i do go for drinks with them we always end up staying in the local with their OH's.

Secondly, i would love to travel the world, especially seeing as i have long summer holidays. However, a few years ago these friends did that for a year, i couldn't as i was trying to find teaching work. I feel like i have missed out on a great opportunity and really feel like i could never do it alone. I don't have the finances or the guts to do it this year, but maybe in time i will.

I am just scared that i will reach 30 and feel like i have wasted my 20's. Each day just seems to roll into the next and when i do have free time, I seem to find myself becoming increasingly anxious about my future.

Does anyone have any ideas of what i should do?
Have any ladies felt like this at some point?
Thanks

This is just my opinion, but I get from your post that you wish you could do that year that you missed out on.

The thing is you are probably the luckiest person in the country. If you want to do the whole year away thing, you still can. You haven't wasted anything. If you want to do it, just do it. Go to Australia, go to Canada, go to the USA, go to South America, go to south east asia. You are basically set for the next few years. You can go anywhere you want and still come home and land a job straight away.

You said you are scared to reach 30? Most of the people I met when I was traveling were 25-30.

Just do it, if that's what you want. If not now, then when? You will not regret it for a second. See you there

sarmer

I really think you should go travelling!! I went travelling a couple of years ago and due to circumstance ended up being on my own for a couple of months in NZ. I was terrified of going it alone but it was one of the best things I ever did. I went on a bus trip and met so many like minded cool people and had a blast! And they were all around my own age (I was 25 at the time) or older. Plenty were late 20s/early 30s and many of them had been travelling alone for months. I made lots of new friends and Im still in touch with many of them now

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

I'm turning 26 in a few months and I'm scared as hell of getting old! I feel like I've got nothing sorted...I have done my degree but can't find work in that area so I emigrated and am working a job to make money.

Thing is though, two years ago I travelled alone. I originally planned to go with friends but after a month we fell out. It was the best thing to happen to me, I went off on my own, terrified and had the best year of my life. Ok you're 'alone' but you constantly meet and travel with people. You have the company but also the freedom and lack of ties to go off and do your own thing. I've met so many lovely people and I'm still in contact with a lot of them which gives me opportunities to travel to their countries to visit them.

Most of the ppl travelling alone were in their mid to late 20's a lot of early 30's too. It's much better than travelling when you're younger because you appreciate the experience and are more mature and secure in yourself to cope.

I had broken up with a longterm boyfriend before travelling and it was the best thing to help me get over it.

Planning and saving for travelling can give you that sense of achieving something. However travelling isn't the only answer. If it's something you always wanted to do great, but you'll also be taking a year out of your career and it's not realyl the time to give up your job. But if you can do it in the summer go for it.
You can also calm those 'not doing anything' feeling by achieving other goals like learning a new skill, training for something, taking up a new sport etc, basically improve yourself and get that i'm going somewhere feeling.

Enjoy, hope it helps

merlie

Hi op,

Yes, I know only too well how things can be when ones friends are married or in relationships and they don't seem to have free time any more. I found this website and joined a number of activities and have been making new friends through this. It's free to join, some activities cost a small fee like a 5iver, it depends on the activity and what's involved.

http://www.meetup.com

just key in where you live and what activity you would like to do.

Good luck

LegacyUser

This is the Op again.
Thanks so much for all the replies. I suppose travelling is the thing i should be doing alright. Was thinking last year of doing some voluntary work abroad, just the funds wouldn't allow it. Might look into that again.
I just hope my life begins to move in a certain direction, as it is as stagnant as it can get at the moment. I suppose, looking at the relationships my friends are in doesn't help either, because i love being in a relationship, it adds a bit of purpose to my life. I just have to learn to see there is more to life than being attached to someone and learn to live on my one.
Last night, i went to the pub with my friends. All of their partners and husbands were there, and i may have been paranoid, but i couldn't help the feeling that they view me as being some kind of sad single girl. A couple of months ago, one of my closest friends really upset me. She was drunk, and tried to set me up with one of the single lads in out group, almost in an attempt to just get me with someone so i wouldn't upset their night, if that makes sense. I felt like a fool, so did the guy. It makes me feel cheap and i suppose it hurts when people i thought were close to me try to just set me up with anybody rather than trying to find guys that might actually be my type.
Sorry, i'm venting alot here. I am going to try to be courageous, plan a trip on my own and see where that leads me.
Thanks again for all your replies, it does really help.