Contacting the ex

LegacyUser

I'll say sorry now because I know this might seem trivial to a lot of people but I'm genuinely in pain because of it.

So my bf broke up with me about six weeks ago now, very unexpectedly on my part, but he had some personal problems at the time that I think led to it. For the couple of weeks after that I suppose I probably hounded him a bit, I couldnt let go, Id keep texting and calling even if he didn't reply and even if that broke my heart more. So eventually a couple of weeks ago we had a fight over my continuous texting/calling and insecurities over our broken relationship so I decided it would be best to not contact each other for a while.
This was so difficult for me but I thought it might help.

It didn't. Every day was as difficult as the last while I tried not to contact him, its been six weeks but it might as well be yesterday for the pain its still causing me. So after a week and a half I couldnt take it anymore and rang him, he sounded genuinely pleased to hear from me and we chated for a little bit then I had to go. Then a few mins later he texted me and we started a text conversation.

I was delighted, my heart jumped and I started to imagine that maybe he was starting to think he'd made a mistake coz we were just txting like we used to nd having a laugh.

Then abruptly he just stopped, it wasn't just a case of we ran out of things to say, it was kind of like mid conversation and I haven't heard from him since and now its like my heart is broken all over again.

I just dont know why'd he'd just stop like that when he seemed to be enjoying it as much as me?

Princess Peach

I speak from experience here, he is messing with your head. Not necessarily intentionally but that is whats happening.

This guy has no idea what he wants. You say he broke up with you because of his personal problems, but the truth is if he wanted to be with you he would be with you. Don't make excuses to try and keep hope of ye getting back together for yourself. He made it clear that he didn't want to talk to you afterwards many times.

He may have just had a few moments doubt about his feeling s for you, but came to his senses and now is letting you down the hard and cowardly way by not texting you back. Pretty much the same thing happened to me give or take some details.

If he wanted to be with you, he would. I know its hard, I often had to give my phone to my friend just to stop me contacting my ex. But you need to stop the contact if you want to move on. I know this will sound harsh, but you're probably coming across as clingy and desperate to him, and thats not what you want your ex to think of you. You need to be strong and independent.

The contact with him will just mess with your head, and give you false hope of ye getting back together. It seems he hasn't treated you well, breaking up with you out of the blue. It shows no respect for your relationship that he didn't talk to you about it. The same thing happened to me and not knowing the reasons gave me false hope for too long, and the contact with my ex just made it worse. For your own piece of mind, but it out all together.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply Princess Peach, I get what you're saying, but while common sense would tell me to take it on board and say yea time to move on, I cant.

I cant let go of the hope that he'l remember that he does love me, I haven't been constantly hounding him with calls and texts for a while now and when talking or texting i've been happy and positive, telling him about all the things i'm doing and new things i'm trying so I don't think i would be coming accross as desperate and clingy.

I've tried to do no contact but it didn't help at all, every day he was on my mind, the first thing I thought about in the morning and last thing at night, even dreamed about him! It didn't help me move on, it just made me think about him more because I had to devote so much of my time to forcing myself not to contact him!

We were texting again today, and I kept it light and again he seemed to want to keep the conversation going, like he was enjoying it, maybe he is just unintentionally messing with me but what if he's not, what if he's starting to realise he made a mistake?