Baby (9 months old) sleeps in cot beside our bed - Ive had move out of the bedroom

worded

The OH breast feeds the baby when she cries. I was falling out of my standing from interupted sleep and I now sleep on the couch for the last two weeks. I was near falling asleep behind the wheel during the day. The OH says she is exhausted as well and has every reason to be. The couch has meant more sleep for me.

I thought we had agreed that the baby gets her own room when a guest vacates a room this week but OH says "but she is still waking during the night"

Its easier to feed a baby thats right beside the bed but we have to make the break sooner or later. She wakes approx every three hours and gets fed.

Do babies in own room feed less?

Do babies normally go from Moses basket to own room?

Have we spoiled the kid?

I dont think I can do this sofa thing for too much longer. I can take the spare room myself and we can move the baby to the spare room when she goes back to work in Jan, but are we making it worse for ourselves as the child will take longer to adjust to its own room the longer we wait perhaps?


What recommended?

kelle

Oh, my goodness, OP - your post is bringing back awful memories! Our first 2 were straightforward, but no.3 was difficult.

I can't really offer any expert advice, because I was such a softy parent and just couldn't go through with any solutions offered in textbooks!

It did become easier when I stopped breastfeeding ( difficult as she was 9 months old when I stopped and she would have fed all day if she could!) and moved onto bottles. She only woke up twice during the night for bottles which I would keep beside the bed. But that would mean she saturated her nappies and would need a couple of nappy changes during the night. So I started giving her a soother. That was the best thing ever as she started sleeping through the night, albeit in our bed.

When she was 2, she finally went into her own bed. (still wakes up during the night and gets in beside us!).

To answer your questions - it really depends on how stubborn your young lady is! My older 2 went from our bed straight to their own bedroom and never awoke during the night. No.3 did awaken less, not perfect but more bearable for us and we did get our life (and our sleep) back!

This woman of mine is nearly 4 and she is such an adorable, affectionate and very intelligent young girl who looks after her younger cousins when they visit and LOVES helping me with housework (how long that will last for I do not know!). Your little girl will be the same, your sleepless nights will be a distant memory!

endasmail

exact same predictament myself
my son is ten months ,hes on the bottles
i would think he no where near going in to his own room
he still wakes up early and during the night ,he also getting teeth
its all happening
leave the window open while driving and if necessary stop and get out and stretch the legs
a good slap across the face does wonders as well

kelle

endasmail wrote: »

a good slap across the face does wonders as well

For a second, i gasped as I thought you meant the baby!

I'm pleased to know I'm not the first or last parent to have found myself in that situation. IRL, other parents seem to have perfect children that go to bed themselves at 6pm and sleep 14 hours - and this can make you feel sh*t, especially as they criticise you for being "too soft"!

cynder

Been there done that,

My lady woke 11 times a night to feed/suckle from 6 months to 1 year. so i had her in bed with me she left my bed when she was 6 years old. My hubby had to sleep in spare room so he could get sleep.

It won't last forever, if you need to sleep on couch then do so, try introducing a soother. Not every couple shares a bed. If it need to be done short term then so be it. You will share the bed again, its only a matter of time.

metrovelvet

My son had his first four hours of consecutive sleep just after he turned eighteen months old.

He never used a soother. Im not against them, he just didnt take to them. I didnt breastfeed either so I was up and down like a yoyo all night. I really don't know what to tell you or how long it goes on for, every child is different.

I sympathise with the driving. Thats what the baby on board signs are for; codeword for exhausted parent behind the wheel, stay clear.

Inzilbeth

Fair dues to your wife for breastfeeding in the first place . But having four of my own I can fully understand how the lack of sleep and the interuption to your sleep patterns can be taking a negative toll.
I kept all mine beside me as it made getting up easier, I could get back to sleep quicker and indeed often fed then when not even fully awake.
All mine finished breastfeeding by one year old.. they themselves went off it by then.. but your may take longer.. it is different for each child... so if it were to go on after the first year.. it may be an idea to move your baby to her own room and just have a baby monitor to enable you to hear when she needs to feed.
For my first one.. he was easy but a nightmare at night.. he was mega hungry to the extent that I was awake hourly and the nurse advised me to bottle feed him at night and breast feed during the day.. problem solved.. he got full quicker and slept through the night from about three months.
My second was my gem.. she fed easily, quickly and quietly.. and woke about ever three to four hours at night.. but that was only twice a night so it was no problem.
My third was similar to the first.. but my last one.. while she was a brilliant feeder to a year old.. I found that after that she was waking just for anysound and a soother did not work as she would just take it and spit it out after about half an hour..so I was waking more for the soother than the feeding so off to her own room she went.. and she is the heaviest sleeper of them all now
At the moment your baby waking every three hours is fine.. but make sure not to let her sleep on the breast and keep her awake till she finishes feeding.. so she gets fuller and perhaps you can up that time.
failing that.. perhaps she is just one very hungry baby.. and a night time bottle may be the way to go.
What ever you do decide.. good luck with it.. and enjoy your time.. it goes sooo quickly

angelfire9

I'm due December 19th and have decided that I'll be moving into the spare room (which will be the baby's room) from day 1
My hubby works shifts I'm not working its a no brainer for me to let him get as much sleep as he can after all i can snooze during the day when he's at work
I intend to breastfeed so this is definitely a factor in this decision

Everyone I've said this to thinks I'm mad but the room has a single bed in it anyway for future use of the babs so I think its the best plan all round

Hearing the OP's story I feel less of a freak now too!

cynder

metrovelvet wrote: »

He never used a soother. .

my lady would not take one until she was 2 and i stopped breast feeding,(she needed something to suckle, she got rid of it at 4.5.

My 2nd guy had one but spat it out at 1, and the 3rd guy only got rid of his 2 months back and his 4 at xmas, still takes the bottle. Anything for a bit of peace.

cynder

angelfire9 wrote: »

I'm due December 19th and have decided that I'll be moving into the spare room (which will be the baby's room) from day 1
My hubby works shifts I'm not working its a no brainer for me to let him get as much sleep as he can after all i can snooze during the day when he's at work
I intend to breastfeed so this is definitely a factor in this decision

Everyone I've said this to thinks I'm mad but the room has a single bed in it anyway for future use of the babs so I think its the best plan all round

Hearing the OP's story I feel less of a freak now too!

Good on you!

Sleep factors in on everything, if you (i) don't get enough sleep you (i) can be snappy and get real bad headaches which will make you (me) more snappy.

metrovelvet

angelfire9 wrote: »

I'm due December 19th and have decided that I'll be moving into the spare room (which will be the baby's room) from day 1
My hubby works shifts I'm not working its a no brainer for me to let him get as much sleep as he can after all i can snooze during the day when he's at work
I intend to breastfeed so this is definitely a factor in this decision

Everyone I've said this to thinks I'm mad but the room has a single bed in it anyway for future use of the babs so I think its the best plan all round

Hearing the OP's story I feel less of a freak now too!

I wouldnt count on snoozing during the day too much. The days are the same as the nights for a while. Abbreviated,interrupted sleep night and day. Its like permanent jet lag accumulating exponentially for a year.

angelfire9

grindelwald wrote: »

Good on you!

Sleep factors in on everything, if you (i) don't get enough sleep you (i) can be snappy and get real bad headaches which will make you (me) more snappy.

LOL

I am also hoping that by being in his/her own room from day 1 when the time comes for mammy to sneak back into her own bed in 2-3 months time that it won't be as much of a shock

I know there are alot of recommendations about sharing a room for the first 12 months but with our daughter (now 9) I got a serious chest infection when she was only 9/10 weeks old and she had to be moved out of my room in case she picked up the infection from my constant coughing & spluttering

As an aside I am REALLY looking forward to being able to snuggle up properly to my hubby again cos at the moment sleeping is a nightmare trying to find a comfortable position
Thank god i've only 6 weeks left!

metrovelvet wrote: »

I wouldnt count on snoozing during the day too much. The days are the same as the nights for a while. Abbreviated,interrupted sleep night and day. Its like permanent jet lag accumulating exponentially for a year.

Bit of an optimist aren't you

I'll sleep when the babs sleeps and feck the housework for awhile
(that's what grannies are for)

Worked the first time so here's hoping....

DubDani

Our daughter was moved to her own bedroom from day one, and it was probably the best decision we have made so far concerning her.

She is a noisy sleeper, and would have kept us both awake all night every night. Thank god, beside that she is a good sleeper, and has been sleeping through the night since around 10 weeks.

When she was teething and waking during the night me and the wife took turns to get up during the night to feed or calm her.

Cat Melodeon

We didn't move our lad into his own room until he was 13 months. He'd transitioned gradually from our bed to the cosleeper to the cotbed. Once he was used to the cotbed we moved him out to his own room. There's a spare bed in there too, so that's where I spend some of my nights (or part of some of my nights) so husband can get sleep - he has a long commute and I couldn't bear the thought of him being wrecked at the wheel.

At nine months I guess your daughter is well on the way with solids. I found giving my lad a decent meal close to bedtime really helped to get him to sleep for longer. It would usually be something like rice pudding or semolina with fruit - good and warm and stodgy. I breastfed him until he was 11 months, switched to expressing and bottles then as he went on boob-strike. We did get into the habit of giving him a top-up bottle of breastmilk after his last breastfeed (around 11pm) and this seemed to help knock him out for a decent sleep.

All that said, he can still go for a full week without sleeping through (he's 15 months now) but the nights where he doesn't wake at all are getting more frequent. The waking up is related to teething and growing pains, although sometimes he just wakes up and feels a bit lonely, I guess. I get lonely for him too, so I don't mind splitting the odd night between husband and son.

It does get easier as they get older. At 9 months, you certainly haven't spoiled or ruined your baby. You do need to work out a system where you are getting enough sleep though. 9 months isn't too young to move the baby to her own room, especially if there is a bed big enough in there for your wife to continue to cosleep and breastfeed when necessary. We all definitely get more sleep these days - baby isn't woken by us snoring and husband isn't woken by baby crying. I could do with a bit more, but I have the option of having a nap if I'm really shattered during the day.

cynder

angelfire9 wrote: »

LOL


Bit of an optimist aren't you

I'll sleep when the babs sleeps and feck the housework for awhile
(that's what grannies are for)

Worked the first time so here's hoping....

Brilliant, Love it.



My moms in the uk so didn't have that help.

Jumbo156

DubDani wrote: »

Our daughter was moved to her own bedroom from day one, and it was probably the best decision we have made so far concerning her.

She is a noisy sleeper, and would have kept us both awake all night every night. Thank god, beside that she is a good sleeper, and has been sleeping through the night since around 10 weeks.

When she was teething and waking during the night me and the wife took turns to get up during the night to feed or calm her.

We did the same with our 2 . Straight home from the hospital and into their own rooms. They both slept through the night from 10 weeks on as well.
I believe that parents can wake up their kids as much as kids can wake up their parents. i.e. snoring moving around in bed.
For any expectant parents out there, I would definitely recommend , babies into their own room from day one!

smelltheglove

I really think a lot of how babies sleep depends ont he parent also. As a single mother I had my first in with me constantly, if she woke I took her in beside me and would often fall asleep like that as I was so tired. Turned out she needed to be fed 2 or 3 times during the night and would not sleep unless beside me.

The second, there as none of that, she was fed and put back to the cot, out of our room by about 3 months and slept throught he night quite quickly as we were not spoiling her at all.

I think you need to be a tough cookie, it may be easier with the two of you to support each other, God knows I couldnt be tough with my first as it broke my heart to hear her cry but your child needs to learn to sleep through the night otherwise you will have this tiredness continue and she will not be getting the best of you.

Is it possible to put her on the bottle, if not ask your wife to express and have the bottles close by so you can take turns, then whenever one of you is finished feeding straight back to the cot, let her cry for a while if needs be. Move the cot further from the bed until you are comfortable movign to the next room.

Something that I found to help us a lot was camomile syrup, the little one loved it and had been recommended by a few people, if she didnt settle we dipped her soother in and she was off like a light.

There is nothing like a sleepless night, everything suffers from your child, your work, your relationship so you need to face this head on!

aniascor

Please don't wean your baby onto formula unless you want to simply because people say it will stop the night feeds. There are no guarantees that it will. I weaned my little guy onto formula at night at the same time that I weaned him onto solids and he still woke for night feeds. He was on two a night until 8 months. I tried everything to get rid of those feeds. Whatever was suggested I tried it. But it didn't work and it stressed us all out. Finally I decided to accept that he needed those feeds and that I was just making myself feel worse by trying to find a way to fix it so he wouldn't. Two weeks later he stopped waking for one of the feeds of his own accord. And two weeks after that he stopped waking for the other. Some babies just take a little longer to be ready I think.

Inzilbeth

aniascor wrote: »

Please don't wean your baby onto formula unless you want to simply because people say it will stop the night feeds. There are no guarantees that it will. I weaned my little guy onto formula at night at the same time that I weaned him onto solids and he still woke for night feeds. He was on two a night until 8 months. I tried everything to get rid of those feeds. Whatever was suggested I tried it. But it didn't work and it stressed us all out. Finally I decided to accept that he needed those feeds and that I was just making myself feel worse by trying to find a way to fix it so he wouldn't. Two weeks later he stopped waking for one of the feeds of his own accord. And two weeks after that he stopped waking for the other. Some babies just take a little longer to be ready I think.

I seriously dont think that waking for two feeds a night is bad at all. I would consider that totally normal... so you were lucky
Formula works for some but you are right not for all.. and although someone else suggested expressing into a bottle so the little one gets more.. ( and that is one I went for which worked).. I have to say before they do this they should realise that the baby may take to this and not want to breastfeed again after..
I was lucky in that my eldest took both but some babies dont
you are totally right.. they are all different

LittleBook

Inzilbeth wrote: »

I was awake hourly and the nurse advised me to bottle feed him at night and breast feed during the day.. problem solved.. he got full quicker and slept through the night from about three months.

I did that too, worked a treat