too old?

LegacyUser

Hi, this my seem like a non issue to some but to me its beginning to worry me. Basically I am a 24 yr old guy, I am single. I left my dead end job two years okay and went to college. When I started college I had a girlfriend, everything was great, she was really proud of me for going back to education. I am now in second year of my course and single. The problem is when I'm out on the town and i get chatting to a girl, the obvious questions arise e.g. what do you do for a living.
When I tell them I am in college, they always ask me why I am so old and in college, and basically they back away then. This has happened about 4 times. Is there a problem with me or are these girls just immature. Any opinions?

LegacyUser

Well they might be immature idiots, or they might just be teasing you. Like making light-hearted conversation. How do you reply? Are you apologetic or embarrassed? That would be off-putting. Assuming it's just teasing then if you replied in a confident way with enthusiasm about your course then they might be less likely to back away.

solovely

Those girls are definitely immature. Just ignore them!! I would say they are more worried that you won't be paying for their next drink or bringing them out to dinner than your personality, hopes, dreams and ambitions.

I recently dated a 30 year old mature student, and I know someone who is dating a 42 year old mature student. It's something really admirable in people, to see them taking steps to do what they really want in life. It's a lot more admirable than the people who leave school at 18, follow the path Mummy and Daddy set out for them, and end up going through the mills in an unfulfilled job....but can still pay for the fancy meals, nice presents and foreign holidays.

Which type of girl do you want? Hey, and if it is the materialistic type you are after (which I doubt) then you just have to hold out another couple of years, and when you are earning the big bucks, they will all be knocking on your door. But I imagine you want a girl who respects and admires you for being you.

But you are only 24....surely there's lots of lovely girls in your college just a few years younger. I'd imagine you have a lot more on your doorstep that you're overlooking....

seachto7

I went back to do a post grad at 24, and had the time of my life. Don't sweat it, you'll be fine....!

Princess Peach

I don't know who these girls are but they are not nice.

I'm a girl and I would have no problem going out with a mature student, I can't see why any girl would, unless they wanted a rich boyfriend or something?? I like guys who show initiative and motivation to make a better life for themselves, and I'm sure any nice girl would feel the same. And 24 is not even that old to be in college at all.

You seem to have just picked the wrong 4 girls here. Do not let their opinion upset you, cause they are just mean and weird.

thefeatheredcat

hurtboy wrote: »

When I tell them I am in college, they always ask me why I am so old and in college, and basically they back away then. This has happened about 4 times. Is there a problem with me or are these girls just immature. Any opinions?

these girls are very immature and not worth bothering about. I'd agree, they're probably under the impression that student = no money so you won't be stumping up the cash for their drinks/supermacs/taxis/pampering etc. It came across very shallow from them as well as clueless, naive, ignorant and downright rude imo.

Besides that, they obviously don't read newspapers or watch the news otherwise they would KNOW that the college student body is made up of various ages and levels of experience in life and is open to everyone not just 18-23 year olds. And even at 24, if you had been in college since 18, you could be pursing a lengthy degree (like Medicine) that requires more than 3/4 years for qualifications or pursing a Masters or PHD.

You should be proud of going back to college btw, regardless of age. A guy I worked with who's in his 40s went back to college this year as a mature student. and don't forget there were many people over the years who never even finished school or sat the leaving cert who took those brave steps to return to education.

EDIT: just to add, I would always have respect and admiration for those who do return to education - not just for taking the brave steps in returning to education to further themselves - but that can tolerate the immaturity of some 3rd level students.... I had the unfortunate experience of starting my first year of college at 18 with students of the same age who were too ignorant and immature to be in 3rd level education who preferred to maintain the level of disruption of a 3rd year secondary school student and made everyday lectures nothing but a constant flow of disruption.... to the point that mature students (of which there were a few of in their 30s, 40s and older also studying) which were openly ridiculed by so my so-called peers feel something that could not be tolerated to the point they decided not to pursue the course. It made me very sad and angry, because those of my own age at the time, made mature students feel most unwelcome and unwanted and few persevered to complete the course in bettering themselves and opening doors to new opportunities. So, to girls that are baffled/disgusted of you being at 24 - which is, in the grand scale of things, young - in college, should you encounter similar circumstances again, tell them nicely where to go and get a clue or two. No doubt these are not nice people who you are far, far better without in life and should be glad of the bullet dodged.

Distorted

Either those girls are golddiggers or rather stupid and uneducated. No-one with a brain and an education would think twice about someone still being in full time education at 24. As pointed out above, in some courses, you would have to be. Loads of people where I am just start uni/college in their early twenties, or later. Some people work for a few years, realise they have more ambitions and go back to education to gain more qualifications. Its normal.

Far better than staying stuck in some dead end job or staying at home or doing nothing with your life at all. You are doing the right thing, I bet in 10 years time you will have a better life than them! And any girl you do meet now, at least you will know she is with you for you, not for the money. I'd never rule out someone for being a student because its only a step on the path to a bigger life.

Overheal

hurtboy wrote: »

Hi, this my seem like a non issue to some but to me its beginning to worry me. Basically I am a 24 yr old guy, I am single. I left my dead end job two years okay and went to college. When I started college I had a girlfriend, everything was great, she was really proud of me for going back to education. I am now in second year of my course and single. The problem is when I'm out on the town and i get chatting to a girl, the obvious questions arise e.g. what do you do for a living.
When I tell them I am in college, they always ask me why I am so old and in college, and basically they back away then. This has happened about 4 times. Is there a problem with me or are these girls just immature. Any opinions?

They back away because you decided to go into a job after school then decided to go to college?

Immature; ignore.

24 is not old. Irish education has this stuck idea that you have to go straight into a 4 year degree when you leave 5th year or you're a failure at life. Not true.

I'm 23 and just started the application process last week in the US. From what I've seen there, there isn't a predetermined demographic; all young and old. Even when I was 19 in IT Carlow I felt a little too young if anything: half my class was 25 or older. And clearly I didn't know what I wanted to do because I didn't finish.

How Strange

24 isn't old, it's young. I went back fulltime to do my masters at 28. In my BA course there was one woman who was in her 70's. I just respected her so much for having the guts to commit to studying at that age.

kjl

I'm 30 and in college, and I don't have trouble picking up women at all. I think you are just using this as an excuse as to why you haven't been successful recently

magneticimpulse

im 30 next month and just finishing a post grad. also im not a "mature" student...im just a student haha.

tenchi-fan

Maybe you should look for a student to go out with.

There are several divides in Ireland at present. One is between students and employed people. I think that's why you're facing some hostility when you tell these girls you are a student.

Sleepy

You're not too old for being a student, you're talking to the wrong kind of girls who when you say 'student' hear 'poor'...

Emme

First of all, fair play for having the guts to jack in the job and start a college course.

24 is a great age to be in college, join some of the student societies and you'll meet some fantastic people. I think the issue here is that you've moved on from your old social circle since you started college, obviously they don't think the same way you do so the best thing is to leave them behind in their little world.

People of all ages go to college and fair play to them!

mojesius

I did my degree at 24 and post-grad at 27. Don't let a few idiots make you feel bad about yourself OP

deadpoet

Theres no "problem" with you at all; these are simply immature girls. A mature woman would tell you have every reason to be proud of yourself and should express interest and enthusiasm towards the fact that you're being proactive with your life. Many men your age lack the direction you have, this is something you should take pride in. You realised their was a problem in your life and you set out to change it; the very essence of intelligence.

And since when is 24 old?! Sure you're only four years out of your teens for gods sake. When women ask you why you're in college at 24 just tell them the truth; definitely dont try fabricate any excuses because its utterly needless. Any girl who backs away from you because you say you're in college at the age of 24 is a girl you do not want to end up with, believe me man. You should feel nothing but pride man, you're in a very good position. Fair play to you.

ongarboy

I agree with everyone who posted here. A mature student is nothing to be ashamed about. When I was in college as an "immature" student, no-one questioned or was suspicious as to why the mature students were there or whether there was some odd reason why they were only going to college at a more mature age. They were great for giving us insight about jobs they had and life in general that the rest of us hadn't experienced. Those girls who rebuffed you sound like they would be incapable of getting into college if their mentality was to judge you negatively based on the fact that you are a student.

As another poster said though, you have nothing to apologise or be embarrassed or hung up about so don't act that way if girls or anyone does ask you if you are a student or why are you still in college. Being awkward or trying to make excuses could just make you come across as being offputting. As you are in college, maybe it would be an idea to engage with other girls on campus who would have a lot more in common with you. Good luck!

MissHoneyBun

24 is too old to be in college? Oh, how people make me laugh! College is one of the best experiences of your life so enjoy every minute while the opportunity presents itself -God knows you'll be stuck in the 9-5 grind for the rest of your days!

And while we're on the subject -what sort of vacuous fruitbats see going through Third Level education as a bad thing? The ones with no prospects of their own and need to snare someone stupid enough to fund a lifetime of their shallow exploits. Do they realise that a university education is a privilege and something many people would give their right arm for?

No, because people like this haven't got the brains they were born with and as such, any comments they make should be swiftly kicked into the bullsh*t bin.

Heyes

your 24, not 94. At least your out there getting an education and trying to make things better for yourself. You should keep at it and be proud, and never waste your time overthinking people silly thoughts.