family law - access

GismoBaby

Can i bring my sons dad to court and force him to see his son regularly? I know it can be done the other way round i.e. boy brings girl but can the girl bring the boy to court?
my son is 12 and has decided he wants a relationship with his dad who hasnt been there much in those 12 years, but his dad is full of s*** and keeps letting him down, changing his phone number, breaking his phone, excuse, after excuse etc etc etc you get the pic!! and at this stage im starting to lose the rag with him!
any replies would be greatly appreciated! dont want to go to the court clerk and look like a fool if its not possible!!

ldxo15wus6fpgm

I have absolutely no idea whether a judge could force the father to spend time with his son - that will probably be best answered by a solicitor.

I think that if you did go down that path (if it is open to you) it would probably turn the father sour and he may resent having to spend time with his son - it would probably not make for a good relationship between them.

themadchef

The court can force him to stand up to his financial obligations but they cant make him want to actually be there for his son. They cant make him want to be a father and even if they could force him, and he clearly didint want to be a father figure it would probably end up having a worse impact on your child.

Frustrating and impossible to explain to your son. All you can do is be the best parent you can and dont allow yourself to get biter over it. It is entirely his loss at the end of the day.

GismoBaby

themadchef wrote: »

The court can force him to stand up to his financial obligations but they cant make him want to actually be there for his son.

at the minute he is doing neither, ive supported him alone for 12 years!

They cant make him want to be a father and even if they could force him, and he clearly didint want to be a father figure it would probably end up having a worse impact on your child.

Frustrating and impossible to explain to your son. All you can do is be the best parent you can and dont allow yourself to get biter over it. It is entirely his loss at the end of the day.[/QUOTE]

Frustrating isnt the word for it as he promises my son this that and the other and rarely does what he says he will do.

ive been through the whole family court process with my younger son and his dad and i really think it was the best thing we ever did (bar having our son!!) we are great friends now and my youngest gets the best of both our worlds...

only drawback is that the older boy sees his little brother heading off with his dad every weekend(we dont even live in the same county!) and i feel so sorry for him but i really have no fight left in me to fight his dad over this after fighting for him for the last 12 years i just want someone else to do the fighting for me

themadchef

GismoBaby wrote: »

at the minute he is doing neither, ive supported him alone for 12 years!


only drawback is that the older boy sees his little brother heading off with his dad every weekend(we dont even live in the same county!) and i feel so sorry for him but i really have no fight left in me to fight his dad over this after fighting for him for the last 12 years i just want someone else to do the fighting for me

I can imagine how difficult this is on both of you. Realisticslly though, what order do you want the court to make? They cant force him to spend time with son. Chase him for the maintenance by all means. 12 years of not supporting his son and giving you a break either, it should be a crime in itself.

It's up to you to chase him for the maintenance, ask about access but im afraid you wont get the answer youre looking for. Im sorry, i wish there was a magic wand a judge could wave to make people like your ex responsible parents, but there really isint .

GismoBaby

themadchef wrote: »

I can imagine how difficult this is on both of you. Realisticslly though, what order do you want the court to make? They cant force him to spend time with son. Chase him for the maintenance by all means. 12 years of not supporting his son and giving you a break either, it should be a crime in itself.

It's up to you to chase him for the maintenance, ask about access but im afraid you wont get the answer youre looking for. Im sorry, i wish there was a magic wand a judge could wave to make people like your ex responsible parents, but there really isint .

i was asking my son earlier how much he wanted to see his dad (i figure hes old enough to know what he wants at this stage) and he said twice a month, think he meant for 2 weekends a month. I would go with whatever my son wants to do.
im very open with him, not so much that i totally blacken his dads name but enough that he knows its not me thats doing anything to stop them seeing each other!
The maintenance doesnt so much bother me as you cant miss what you never had but the access is more important.
i just wish he would either leave us alone or do the whole access thing properly as what he is doing is so damaging. I really dont want to put my foot down and cut all contact as i think at this stage its up to my son to decide what he wants but at the same time he is still only a child and i feel i should be protecting him from his own father, such a sad state of affairs.
Thank you for ur reply and i so wish i had a wand too... i know where id stick it at this stage:eek: